Sunday, March 19, 2006

Brad Curran's "Top 10 Comic Book plots that could be used to write Marissa Cooper out of the OC"

Enjoy.

These might happen, because all the writers on the OC are comic book nerds. I love the OC but hate Marissa. I often fantasize about ways for her to go away and make the show perfect. Many of these involve her ridiculously violent death. I do not know what this says about me. I have a hunch, I just don't want to know.

1. She becomes Dark Phoenix, sacrifices herself, but no one finds her at the bottom of the Hudson River or whatever.
2. Fin Fang Foom eats her.
3. The same as above, but she survives in his stomach, but Machine Man squashes her on his way through FFF's bowels.
4. She catches a zeta beam to Rann and is never seen again.
5. She dies on the way to her home planet. Which is Rann. Okay, I'm padding.
6. Jason Todd starts impersonating her to prove he's better than Batman. And she gets run over by a bus.
7. She goes to college. On the Moon. With the Watcher. And Crystal and Quicksilver's kid. If she is still alive. Also, Lockjaw will be there. They could make a sitcom out of this. I would not watch.
8. The Sub Mariner takes her as his wife to his undersea kingdom. And she drowns on the way there.
9. She joins the Teen Titans as whatever dumb superhero Seth made her in his comic. And they are immidiately cancelled.
10. She fucks off to do movies. And her first film is X4: We Still Have Some Mutants to Kill. She surives unscathed.

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19 Comments:

Anonymous Zard said...

If they kill her off they're just goint to bring her back to life anyway.

3/19/2006 08:22:00 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

She joins the Teen Titans as whatever dumb superhero Seth made her in his comic.

That'd be Cosmo Girl. Had a magic flask.

Oh, I am truly sad now.

3/20/2006 12:55:00 AM  
Blogger David Cutler said...

That'd be Cosmo Girl. Had a magic flask.

Oh, I am truly sad now.That'd be Cosmo Girl. Had a magic flask.

Oh, I am truly sad now.


Nah, not that sad. I only sat through the one episode, and I, too, had this clogging up my brain.

3/20/2006 02:05:00 AM  
Blogger plok said...

#8 = funny!

3/20/2006 05:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Mike Loughlin said...

She can be the next herald of Galactus.

She can be shunted off to a parallel Earth, and come back in the Anti-Monitor's armor ready to "kick ass, or, like, whatever."

She could get a red & yellow sigil.

3/20/2006 11:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Dizzy said...

#2 should have been 'Fin Fang Foom puts her in his pants'.. Then you couldn't lead it to #3 though.

3/21/2006 07:57:00 AM  
Blogger J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...

How can you not watch a sitcom with the Inhumans.

"In this episode Lockjaw eaths the kid! Will Lockjaw eath Marissa as well?" They could call it 'Everyone hates Lockjaw'!

3/21/2006 05:19:00 PM  
Blogger Apodaca said...

The OC?

Brad, my faith is being shaken.

3/21/2006 07:13:00 PM  
Blogger Brad Curran said...

"The OC?

Brad, my faith is being shaken."

It is for the best. No one should ever put their faith in me at all.

3/21/2006 10:34:00 PM  
Blogger Brad Curran said...

"How can you not watch a sitcom with the Inhumans.

"In this episode Lockjaw eaths the kid! Will Lockjaw eath Marissa as well?" They could call it 'Everyone hates Lockjaw'!"

I have often wondered the same thing. I never thought it would come to this. But Marissa annoys me that much. Now, if Lockjaw ate her, and the rest of the show was about his wild frat adventures, then yeah, that's a show I would watch with no reservations.

3/21/2006 10:35:00 PM  
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Anonymous Generic Cialis said...

Teen Titan reference is just hilarious. And the Sub-Mariner one just kills (literally). But if it goes somic book like, eventually in some part of the multi-verse she is brought back.

9/06/2010 06:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Viagra Sales said...

I don't know why but this is so common, the persons who love OC, normally hate Marissa. This should be because she has an arrogant and ironic personality.... well I guess so.

9/30/2010 02:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Buy Cialis said...

Yeah I can not understand this, Marissa has been an interesting and really important support for this industry, so people should respect her a few more.

10/11/2010 11:48:00 AM  
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