The I'ds of March
Okay, I slacked off a bit on Snark Free Waters, but I caught up last night, and part of the catch up involved a new shtick called "The I'ds of March." I named, for March 1-March 15 (today), fifteen things that I'd have done differently in some comics that I enjoyed. Part of the game involves not just picking bad storylines and saying "I'd have not done that," as that's too easy. You have to do a little more effort than that. For you to play along, here is the link. Read more to see titles of, and links to further details of my fifteen choices.
I'd Have Given Captain Marvel Black Widow's Role in Harras' Avengers
I'd Keep Ben Reilly Alive
I'd Not Have Had Jefferson Pierce Belong to Luthor's Cabinet
I'd Have Kept Dox and Stealth as a Couple
I'd Have Kept Hardback Bock in the Bat-Books
I'd Have Kept Hawkeye Single
I'd Have Not Made D-Man a Loony
I'd Have Kept Ultimate Beast Alive
I'd Have a Human Hero Join the X-Men
I'd Not Have Pete Ross Be Vice-President
I'd Have Followed Len Wein's Advice on the Ending of Watchmen
I'd Not Have Had Donna Troy Get Married and Pregnant
I'd Have Kept the International Part of the Justice League
I'd Make Storm An Avenger
I'd Have Brought Black Thorn Into the Bat-Books
Now you share your I'ds!
I'd Have Given Captain Marvel Black Widow's Role in Harras' Avengers
I'd Keep Ben Reilly Alive
I'd Not Have Had Jefferson Pierce Belong to Luthor's Cabinet
I'd Have Kept Dox and Stealth as a Couple
I'd Have Kept Hardback Bock in the Bat-Books
I'd Have Kept Hawkeye Single
I'd Have Not Made D-Man a Loony
I'd Have Kept Ultimate Beast Alive
I'd Have a Human Hero Join the X-Men
I'd Not Have Pete Ross Be Vice-President
I'd Have Followed Len Wein's Advice on the Ending of Watchmen
I'd Not Have Had Donna Troy Get Married and Pregnant
I'd Have Kept the International Part of the Justice League
I'd Make Storm An Avenger
I'd Have Brought Black Thorn Into the Bat-Books
Now you share your I'ds!
posted by Brian Cronin at 3/15/2006 03:16:00 PM
9 Comments:
I threw in my two cents about the Watchmen one.
I play the "I'd do it differently" game in my head all the time. Hey, I'm even doing a big faux-crossover project for Marvel over at my blog this spring.
Like baseball, part of the fun of comics is looking at the game and thinking "I could do that!" It may not be true, but it's fun to think about.
I'd have kept Chester Wallace and Liz Tremayne together as a couple. (Swamp Thing, the Dread Nancy Collins run.)
Speaking of couples, I'd never have had Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon's relationship be anything other that surrogate-brother-sisterly.
And then speaking of Titans, if I ever were to bring Terra back from the grave, I'd certainly have her still be evil.
I'd have arranged the post-crisis DC universe such that Kara Jor-El had existed and died in whatever everyone remembers of the crisis, and was remembered by all.
I'd have made Cliff Carmichael Oracle's (and thus the birds of prey's) main archvillian during the first five years of that francise.
Of course, I'd also probably have killed off Mary Jane but left Baby May alive, so maybe we're generally better off without me in charge...
I've just joined Harvey and posted my own suggestion for a new ending to Watchmen. Read and be prepared, because I might just blow your mind.
I'd close the "Last Son of Krypton" loophole. I love the Krypto cartoon, but the extended Superfamily is a millstone around the neck of the concept.
I'd leave Watchmen the hell alone, because the epilogue solves all the problems with the (necessarily) absurd ending. Gordian Knot, and all that.
I'd destroy the shared universes. If you're reading Spider-Man to see Doctor Strange turn up, you're reading it for the wrong reasons and you're wasting your money. Likewise, if you can't see the resurrection of Jason Todd as explained in the recent annual as the insult to your intelligence that it surely is, you're doomed. Batman is Batman, and not Superman. Spider-Man is Spider-Man and not Quicksilver. Different environments, different stories, different themes. A universe where one call to the Justice League or the Avengers solves all a superhero's problems is a universe without drama. Milieu is everything.
I can't deny that I've loved the Justice League comics of Grant Morrison, though. Or the occasional interaction between Spider-Man and the Human Torch (who at least had the "Young Hero" thing in common forty years ago). But for the most part, I'd keep them separate.
I wouldn't restore the multiple Earths either, before you ask, although I'd probably take Captain Shazamarvel out of the DC Universe. I would kill all of the Old Codger Brigade: no more than one of any hero at a time, please.
I'd put Charles Xavier back at the heart of the X-Men. And I'd reduce X-MEN: THE END to 22 pages of Xavier dying in an Oxford hospital.
I'd take the X-Men out of their costumes. The only ones that have really worked for me have been the guerilla fighter pantaloons/kindergarten painting aprons of the original adventures, and Frank Quitely's utilitarian leathers. They already look unusual enough: the costumes just get in the way of a lot of them.
I'd pretend that Reed Richards never met God, because a universe where God is the ultimate answer to all questions is a universe where Reed Richards eats a bullet.
Likewise, I'd ignore pretty much all the Spider-Totem stuff. There is a huge difference between a universe where Spider-Man and all of Spider-Man's trials were preordianed by Mesothelae the Spider-God and a universe where Peter Parker has to, I don't know, take responsibility for his life and his choices.
And I'd ignore all the Spider-Avengers stuff, too (see previous paragraphs).
I'd better stop there.
//\Oo/\\
Also, I would have made Cliff Clavin Oracle's archenemy.
//\Oo/\\
I posted this over at your blig but decided to repost it here.
My main problem with the Donna Troy wedding was the her husband was such a fucking dweeb. Seriously. That hair, the beard, even as a kid he just seemed like a total mismatched dork. I was a Marvel kid and I decided to give DC a try just to be different. I picked up New Teen Titans due to the buzz and knew I would never buy it again after I realized one of the main characters would marry a total loser like that. A character like that wouldn't even be allowed to share a panel with one of Marvel's superheroes much less marry one. Looking back, I think he was supposed to be someone for the fans to identify with, kind of like a wish fulfillment thing.
I'd do one thing if I was a writer, and that would be to make Nightwing a big seller. He's the ex-partner to one of DC's two biggest heroes and is a household name. Most people know who Dick Grayson and Robin are, even if they don't know who NIghtwing is.
To make him popular, I'd do one simple thing that'd shoot his sales through the roof. Have him win fights against serious competition If DC would just de-WOlfmanize the guy and have him beat someone respectable and established, he'd be a star. The character is getting by just on likeability, but he's only allowed to beat up losers tailor-made for him. It's almost like DC knows that his reputation post-Wolfman has sunk so low that if they had him beat any respectable villain (like Shiva, KGBeast, Ras Al Ghul, JOker), it would ruin the villains reputation rather than raise Nightwing's.
So in a nutshell, I'd have Nightwing never complain about being in Batman's show ever again EVER and I'd portray him as a confident super-skilled fighter that can give Batman a run for his money.
I'd have kept Jack Drake alive, is it really a prerequisite to make all of Batmans' Robins all orphans? Robins college years were hilarious!
I'd have Batgirl (Cassandra Cain) form her own vastly superior group of a Bat family somewhere in Asia and watch her juggle the mechanics of language barrier (because she has now effectively assimilated in America and Batman decided to send her back to China to fight communists and possibly create business ties to the ever growing chinese economy, and managing her own team with hilarious consequences.
I'd get Iceman and Nightwing to team up and they could battle it out between themselves by seeing how many women(or men) they could bang in a single story arc. (elseworlds, everyones gagging for this one).
I'd get Zatanna to mindwipe Dr Hugo Strange, previous girlfriends of Bruce Wayne (Talia i'm looking at you)and the 900 other people who know that Bruce Wayne is Batman while she was at it, just to get back in his good books.
I'd make Riddler have his way with Jason Todd's dead corpse because apparently that's a great way to sell books these days, and he apparently knew about that whole thing after HUSH but didn't do anything about it?...
ugh i have uni work to do.
Nice post! Can’t wait for the next one. Keep stuff like this coming.
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