It's a Festivus miracle!

This week my parents visited for Christmas. Why do you care, and what does this have to do with comics? Patience, young padwan - all shall be revealed!

I graduated from Penn State University in May of 1993. Three months later I left Pennsylvania for the grand mystery of the West, packing everything I could into a 1983 Honda Accord and hitting the road with the girl of my dreams. The car did not long survive after we settled in Portland, Oregon, but the relationship did, and I have never looked back. However, there were some things I could not take along with me - space considerations, after all. Paramount among those were the six long boxes full of comics that lay in my closet in my parents' house - I only had six because I had only been collecting comics for five years at that point. So I left them. It was quite tragic.

One time when I visited I brought back a bunch. Then, two years ago, my parents drove out to Arizona for Christmas and brought some more. Now, the last two long boxes have arrived, and I'm in nerd heaven. These are comics I loved back in the day, mind you, but I haven't read them in 12 long years. Some of them suck, obviously, because I'm not perfect, but it's still nice to see them. I can't wait to dig into them when I have a chance. Here are the highlights of the two lost long boxes, exiled for so long in a closet in Plumstead Township, PA (lots of huge scans ahead, so I apologize in advance):


New Mutants #18 (August 1984) by Chris Claremont and Bill Sienkiewicz

This was when I first got into the New Mutants. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, as I started collecting comics, I started digging through the long boxes at any comics shop I could find. When I first started reading, I read Batman and Spider-Man comics. Then I started reading X-Men, and it was all over. I had to have the whole mutant epic! So I bought up all the back issues of X-Men I could find (I need two more to own the entire run from #94 to #441), and then I turned my greedy eye to the ancillary titles. By this time I had discovered Sienkiewicz, so this issue was the natural place to start. God, it's good. And gorgeous. Sienkiewicz only drew the book until, what, issue #30 (or maybe #31) but he completely changed the way everyone viewed the JV mutants at Xavier's estate. Even after he left and the art quality declined, Claremont kept up the good stories. But these issues ... Holy merde, they're good. Check out the first page of New Mutants Sienkiewicz drew:

How can you not love Dani Moonstar huddled under a blanket, terrified, as she thinks about the bear that killed her parents, and the blanket bleeds into the bear's head at the bottom of the page? Answer: you can't not love it. Admit it!

Of course, I mentioned that not all the comics in my collection are good, and back in the day, I bought a lot more crappy comics than I probably should have. It's a learning experience, people! Therefore, I give you the single issue for which I am pretty sure I spent more money for than anything I've ever bought:

New Mutants #87 (March 1990) by Louise Simonson, Rob Liefeld, and Bob Wiacek

Oh, Louise. Did she even realize the horror she was unleashing upon an unsuspecting comics world by creating Cable? I bought this a few months after it came out, and I'm pretty sure I spent 20 dollars on it. I wonder if today you can find it in the quarter bins. Of course, a few weeks after I bought it I saw it for 40, so I figured I got a bargain! I thought it was cooooooooolllllll! Come on, so did you - for a while, at least. I don't know what kind of brain tumor I had back then to think this was good:

I mean, look at it! That's the first appearance of ol' Nathan Dayspring (or whatever the hell his name is) right there. This is just ugly. Let's move on.


New Mutants Annual #2 (October 1986) by Chris Claremont and Alan Davis

This is the issue that introduced Betsy Braddock to an American audience, as we pick up her story in Switzerland, which is where we left her some three years earlier. Now that's a vacation! She is kidnapped by Spiral and Mojo and turned into a television star, and the New Mutants end up going to her rescue. Actually, Doug Ramsey and Warlock do most of the rescuing, and Doug ends up totally crushing on Psylocke (I can relate). Of course, maybe that has to do with the fact that when he first meets her she's in the buff - for a young teenager, it's like a dream come true - hot supermodel (for that was Betsy's profession long ago) with no clothes on right next to him! Gorgeous Davis art, action-packed and fun-filled story, and this was before Mojo became really annoying.


Secret Origins Special #1 (1989) by Neil Gaiman, Mike Hoffman, and Kevin Nowlan (framing story); Alan Grant and Sam Kieth (Penguin story); Gaiman, BEM 89, and Matt Wagner (Riddler story); Mark Verheiden, Pat Broderick, and Dick Giordano (Two-Face story)

This is an interesting look at three Batman villains, with Kieth's pencils on the Penguin a creepy highlight, and Gaiman's framing story an interesting technique, but what really makes this a classic is the Riddler story. Gaiman wrote the final Riddler story, and the fact that people still use him bugs me (yes, I know Milligan used him in Batman #452-454, which are excellent comics, but it still bugged me). This is a beautiful short story about the loss of the Silver Age, and it stands as an continual indictment of Meltzer and his crew who want to "make those stories for adults." Read this, and you'll see why that's ridiculous. Here's just one page from the story:

Genius. The art is by Bernie Mirault (I think), and his slightly odd style fits the tone perfectly. It's a tragic tale, and the best depiction of E. Nigma ever. EVER!


Sleepwalker #1 (June 1991) by Bob Budiansky (who also colored the book!) and Bret Blevins

Yeah, I bought Sleepwalker. You wanna make something about it? Look at that cool cover, man! I only bought it for six issues - if you can believe it, the book wasn't all that good! I know, it's a shocking revelation! Whatever happened to Budiansky? For that matter, whatever happened to Blevins?


Spider-Man #1 (August 1990) by Todd McFarlane

I own, I think, five copies of this. What a sucker I am! The thing that's strange about this issue, and the McFarlane ones that followed, is how ugly they are. His art on Amazing Spider-Man was decent, but this is not good. Blech. This offended a friend of mine so much that he tore his up and mailed it back to Marvel. No word on what they did about it.


Stalkers #1 (April 1990) by Jan Strnad, Mark Verheiden, and Mark Texeira

This Epic title didn't last very long, but the first story arc was unbelievably good. The Stalkers are an anti-terror unit in the very near future - somewhat prescient of Strnad and Verheiden, I think - and when terrorists threaten to nuke Detroit, a surly, insubordinate Stalker is called in. It begins at the end of the story and then goes into flashback, and the ending was stunning. Very nice story, probably cheap but possibly hard to find, and it introduced me, at least, to Texeira's art, which is occasionally very good but sometimes lousy. Here, it's good:


Included in these two long boxes is a crown jewel of comics, one that gets a lot of love, but from the wrong people (meaning DC, which has never collected it in trade):

Suicide Squad #1 (May 1987) by John Ostrander, Luke McDonnell, and Karl Kesel

Some old-timers on the Internet have lauded this series, and you youngsters out there might be thinking, "Is it really that good?" The answer is twofold: first, we old-timers will smack you on the noggin for questioning our wisdom, and the we'll say, "Hell, yes, it is!" Brilliant concept, excellent characterization, real-world politics, a sense of danger, mostly good art (it was never spectacular, but it was pretty good), and tied into DC continuity without being a slave to it. So much good stuff I can't even talk about it. I haven't read these issues in 12 years and I still remember specific stories and scenes. Go find all 66 issues now. What are you waiting for?

Here's the last issue. So sad that DC doesn't feel the need to collect this.

Suicide Squad #66 (June 1992) by John Ostrander, Kim Yale, Geof Isherwood, and Robert Campanella


Trident #1 (August 1989) by Neil Gaiman and Nigel Kitching; Eddie Campbell; Mike Collins, Robin Laing, and Pete Martin; Gavin Butler and Steve Martin; Grant Morrison and Paul Grist; Dominic Regan, with a cover by John Ridgway

This anthology series probably didn't last long - this is the only issue I've ever heard of. Obviously Gaiman and Morrison are the draw (and possibly Campbell and Grist), but all the stories are interesting and weird. This was one of the first independent comics I ever bought.

And then there's my love of the X-Men. As I mentioned, I started buying the Uncanny X-Men around early 1990, with issue #251. I quickly started buying back issues, and now I own every issue back to #122, and the Marvel Masterworks collecting the Giant-Size issue and #94-119. Only two left! We always hear about the Phoenix cycle of stories, and while they were good, we forget the standard of excellence Claremont kept going for years. Case in point:

Uncanny X-Men #173 (September 1983) by Chris Claremont, Paul Smith, and Bob Wiacek

Is this the best single issue of Uncanny X-Men ever? EVER??? It's very possible. This is the second part of the wedding of Wolverine story, and it's the third since Rogue joined the team, pissing off quite a lot of whiny muties, Logan included. Anyway, Viper and Silver Samurai poison all the X-Men except Storm, who's off having a weird non-lesbian affair with that wild Japanese girl (Yukio?) and eventually gets her Mohawk and freaks everyone out (it's 1983, after all, and Mohawks were HUGE - my dad had one!); Rogue, who is excluded from the party so doesn't drink the poison; and Logan, who does get poisoned but heals pretty quickly - it's like it's his power or something. Rogue and Wolverine go after the bad guys, but of course, Logan isn't happy about Rogue tagging along, because he hates her and all. He eventually fights the Silver Samurai, in one of the best fight scenes put on paper:



Wow. Just look at that. Three pages, no talking, just beautiful Smith art. Then Viper tries to kill Logan's chickie Mariko, but Rogue jumps in front of the big laser and saves her life. Logan then kisses Rogue to pass on his healing factor to her, even though he's badly wounded too. One of the best exchanges Claremont ever wrote:

Finally, the bad guys are vanquished, all is well, and Logan prepares for the wedding. Unfortunately for him, Mariko gets brainwashed by Mastermind (although I didn't know who he was at the time) and she calls of the wedding because Logan is a filthy foreigner! Boo, Mastermind! The last page is another brilliant wordless one:

Cry like a baby, Logan! CRY! Excellent.


Uncanny X-Men #210 (October 1986) by Chris Claremont, John Romita Jr., and Dan Green

This is a stupid cover, but the issue is very good. This followed the bunch of good issues that were unfortunately tied into Secret Wars II, and ended with Logan punching Rachel Summers in the lungs with his claws. Why, Logan, why? Well, I'm not going into it here, but they were good. This is a quieter issue, but it sets up the Mutant Massacre, among other things.


Uncanny X-Men #211 (November 1986) by Chris Claremont, John Romita Jr., Bret Blevins, and Al Williamson

Another awful cover, celebrating 25 years of Marvel (even though Marvel was founded in the 1930s), but this is the Mutant Massacre issue, which is tragic and brilliant. Lots to like here, including Nightcrawler getting severely wounded, Kitty Pryde getting stuck in phase mode, and, of course, Colossus getting severely pissed at Riptide:

This is why death needs to be permanent in comics. The fact that Riptide was later "resurrected" robs this story of some of its power. Peter was supposed to be a gentle soul, but he was pushed too far by the Marauders, and that last panel, with him in silhouette and all those spikes sticking out of him, is painfully brilliant.


Uncanny X-Men #212 (December 1986) by Chris Claremont, Rick Leonardi, and Dan Green

That's a nice Windsor-Smith cover. It's a good issue, too. I just wanted to show off the cover, actually.


Uncanny X-Men #213 (January 1987) by Chris Claremont, Alan Davis, and Paul Neary

One of the reasons why this era of the X-Men isn't remembered as fondly, I believe, is because of the lack of a regular artist. Romita Jr. left the book and Davis, Leonardi, Blevins, Windsor-Smith, and others came on before Silvestri showed up, but even he didn't last long. It's unfortunate, but it doesn't change the fact that the art is usually strong and the stories are good. Anyway, this is the issue in which Psylocke joins the team. She actually holds her own against Sabretooth for a while, until Wolverine shows up to throw down. And, of course, it has Alan Davis on pencils. The interesting thing about these issues around the Mutant Massacre and directly afterwards is that it seems like when Romita Jr. left the book, Claremont decided to destroy what he and Romita had created, and he did. This is a fascinating part of X-Men history, as they break up and go their separate ways. Some people complain that it's meandering, but I really like reading these issues, directionless as they may seem.


Uncanny X-Men #234 (Late September 1988) by Chris Claremont, Marc Silvestri, and Josef Rubinstein

Boy, that's a cool cover. Remember when Marvel (and, for a while, DC) would publish their titles twice a month during the summer? Yeah, that worked out well.


Uncanny X-Men #245 (June 1989) by Chris Claremont, Rob Liefeld, and Dan Green

Is this the last time an X-Men comic was done simply for laughs? I'm not sure - I'll have to check. Yeah, it features Liefeld art, but this is just a fun book. The previous one was also funny, as the X-Women went to the mall and picked up Jubilee (unknowingly, of course - and this issue is now worth quite a bit of money, since it's her first appearance). In this issue, the X-Males go out to a bar, and aliens attack! The whole thing is a parody of DC's Invasion! series, which - I think - also featured Liefeld on art for at least part of it (McFarlane started but didn't finish). The menfolk also go to Munden's Bar, where the bartender is named Ostrander. So clever! It's just a very fun book. Like when the aliens are going to release ... the Jean Bomb!

I love how not only does this relate back to Invasion! with its "gene bomb," but also makes fun of Claremont's own X-related mythology. Oh, that scamp Claremont!

Also in this issue is a fun dig at a major metropolitan newspaper:


Moving on!

Uncanny X-Men Annual #11 (1987) by Chris Claremont, Alan Davis, and Paul Neary

I love this annual. Sure, it's Davis art, so that makes it easier to love, but the "villain" in this, Horde, is very interesting. He enlists the X-Men to steal a jewel for him that, unbeknownst to them, will make him the ruler of ALL EXISTENCE! They are transported to a distant planet and they have to go through the citadel in which the jewel is housed. Along the way they are tempted by all their secret desires. The only one who can resist? Duh - it's the 1980s, so it has to be Logan! He reaches the jewel, but before he can get it, Horde kills him. That's right:

He rips Wolverine's pathetic little heart out! But alas! A drop of blood gets on the jewel, blows Horde away, and re-creates Wolverine! Phew, that was close! Wolverine resists the temptation to play God, and all is well - the X-Men return to earth and everyone is happy. Why no one has returned to this story is beyond me. Claremont leaves it open, and it seems like it has potential for more. A very good story. I miss grand annuals like this.


Uncanny X-Men/New Teen Titans (1982) by Chris Claremont, Walt Simonson, and Terry Austin

What more do I need to say? This might be the best crossover ever. Okay, maybe not, but it's pretty damned good. Darkseid and Dark Phoenix! Whoo-hoo!

And here we have something that I, good readers, am ashamed of. I plead your forgiveness:

Web of Spider-Man #100 (May 1993) by Terry Kavanaugh, Alex Saviuk, and Josef Rubinstein

Why did anyone think this was a good idea? Why? Why, dear Lord, why?????


What If ...? #6 (November 1989) by Danny Fingeroth, Ron Lim, and Keith Williams

There are a lot of good What If ...? stories, even from the second series. This one is very good - sure, lots of people die, which is unfortunately a staple of the What If ...? series, but this issue, with demonically-possessed X-Men and Wolverine's skeleton rising from the dead and Dr. Strange's mullet! Yes, Strange has a mullet. That just makes it greater. Good art by Lim, too.


X-Factor #71 (October 1991) by Peter David, Larry Stroman, and Al Milgrom

In honor of David writing X-Factor again, here's his first issue from the first time around (actually, this might be his second issue, but it's his first with Stroman). This is a fun run, with groovy art (whatever happened to Stroman? he's really good), and the issue ends with someone crashing from a building to his apparent death - which seems strangely similar to his latest run. Smart and cool.

And last but not least, we have ...

X-Force #1 (August 1991) by Fabien Nicieza and Rob Liefeld

If I bought New Mutants #87, of course I'm going to buy this! Check out the awesome glory:

God, it's awful. Just awful.

I'm not sure what my point is. I can't say these are comics that prove everything was better when I was a kid, because I wasn't a kid when I bought them. I can't say that if we still did comics like this, more kids would buy comics and hook them for life and then they could become grown-up nerds like me, because I still price and accessibility is a big issue with getting kids interested in comics. I just wanted to revel in nostalgia for a while. These are seminal comics for me, and many of them I can practically recite by heart. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I can't wait to re-read these. It's been too long.

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