Current Comic Conversation for 12/21

The shtick here is that I and a friend (or friends) look at the shipping list for this comic week and riff, using the books that are coming out for inspiration for the discussion. This week, I am talking with my pal Jake (his blog is here) (Jake=J, B=Brian). There very likely WILL be some spoilers mentioned in the discussion, so be forewarned!

Let's begin!

J: Here's a good one to start with

AUG050084SIN CITY TIN SIGN BLACK DEATH ICELANDIC SCHNAPPS

B: I do not understand.

J: What, that Diamond is selling booze?

B: I mean, I really do not understand.

B: That is a series of words that does not make sense to me.

B: Tin Sign?

B: Black Death?

B: Icelandic Schapps?

J: Yeah

B: All make enough sense on their OWN

B: But together?

B: It is like trying to form a sentence out of four random words.

B: Make headphone envelope disc.

J: Potato lined hemmorage lamp

J: All signs point to some sort of decorative booze bottle

J: Even better is "SIN CITY TIN SIGN CERVEZA CHANGO"

B: I think that actually IS a little better.

B: I think this is to help Diamond beat the monopoly rap.

B: "What are you talking about??!?! Comic monopoly?!!? No such thing! We sell LIQUOR!"

GREEN LANTERN #6 $2.99

J: I don't think I'm gonna get this

J: And not because it's late or anything

B: Why then?

J: I was cleaning out my garage earlier today, thinking about comics

J: As I tend to do

J: And I came to the conclusion that Geoff Johns managed to make Hal Jordan even more boring

J: So yeah, it ain't my thing

B: Ha

B: How so?

J: I just don't get any energy from John's writing

J: He could be writing a huge story, and it all seems very by the numbers and lifeless

J: Like he's developed a formula for writing comics that does a very good job technically, but lacks any excitement

B: Interesting.

B: Have you always felt this?

B: Or do you think this is something that he has developed?

J: I'm honestly not all that familliar with everything he's done

J: I read Rebirth, and now IC

J: And his Avengers run

J: It all felt very by the numbers

J: Like it was made under very controlled circumstances

J: Like, (and I know this) he literally drives to an office away from his home to
write his books

B: That IS interesting.

B: I did not know that he actually drove to an office to write his comics.

B: Does he have, like, a secretary?

J: Possibly

B: Is there someone out there whose career depends on Geoff Johns writing stuff?

INFINITE CRISIS #3 (OF 7)$3.99

J: I'm gonna get it

J: because I'm a sucker

B: Ha

B: Did you like #2?

J: I feel almost contractually obligated to get it

J: I found #2 interesting

J: I appreciated that the first crisis and the multiverse was summed up in 4 pages

J: That's something Johns is good at

B: Comic book history?

J: Explaining comic book history

B: Remember the issue of Teen Titans that was literally just Cyborg and the older
Titans giving the young ones a history lesson on Raven?

B: That one was funny.

J: How can those guys still be the teen titans?

B: I think they are still trying to sell us

B: Cyborg as 19.

J: Yet nightwing is in his early 20s

B: But either way, even if Cyborg is supposed to be in his mid-20s, they are the mentors for the "real" Teen Titans

B: So you could argue that the Teen Titans are Robin, Superboy, Kid Flash and Wonder
Girl

B: And the rest are their mentors.

J: Ah well

B: Just like, was Red Tornado a member of Young Justice?

J: Not compelling enough to get me to buy the book

B: Speaking of Crisises

B: Did you see that Brad Meltzer is the new JLA writer?

B: I think that will actually be interesting.

J: Heh

J: Depends on the team he chooses

B: I think Meltzer has some real talent, and I do not think that he will be all "MAKE
DRAMATIC CHANGES!"

J: I can see him going with the flashback JLA from identity crisis

B: I think he will just focus on telling stories.

B: He is gonna have "The Big Three"

B: Plus folks like Green Arrow, Black Canary, Zatanna

J: Well thats cool

B: Plus a few "graduating" heroes.

J: It isn't morrison's big 7

B: Like the aforementioned Cyborg.

J: But it'll do

J: I know some fans hate Meltzer with a passion

J: So it'll be interesting to see what goes on with that book

B: True.

B: I think Meltzer is quite talented.

B: He just happens to have only done TWO comic stories!

B: One, I liked.

B: One, I disliked.

B: The one I disliked, though, happened to be the one DC decided to emulate.

B: And the one I disliked also happened to be the one that had some especially questionable decisions.

J: Man, I'm so tempted to make a rape joke

J: But it's really been done to death

J: Alright, moving on to enjoyable comics

SEVEN SOLDIERS BULLETEER #2 (OF 4)

B: New inker on this issue.

J: If there's one thing that this issue can guarantee

J: It's tits

J: Big, ridiculous tits

J: I like how this seems to be the most straightforward of the seven soldiers books

J: Even though it's about a woman covered with some special metal that her perv
husband made in the hopes of being a superhero

J: This one will make reference to the guys who teamed up in #0, right?

B: Yeah,.

B: Actually, this issue is exposition heavy.

B: And if Seven Soldiers is NOT a "crossover," then this issue is pretty weird.

J: Well, I could use some exposition

J: Maybe morrison sat down one day and decided that perhaps he was getting a little
too weird with some of the books

J: I like that he requires some thought from his audience

J: But sometimes its really a lot of thought

B: Fair enough.

B: But this issue really lays it on thick.

J: Damn

B: Still, I think the next two issues will be a lot funner.

J: Well, I'll have to see it for myself

B: A superhero convention?!?

B: That's awesome.

B: A fight with her husband's mistress?

B: Doubly awesome.

J: Yeah, that sounds cool

SUPERMAN BATMAN DELUXE BOOKENDS$295.00

J: Not a lot to say besides thats a lot of money to spend on something that keeps your books standing up

WALKING DEAD OMNIBUS VOL 1 HC SGN (MR) $150.00

J: Speaking of lots of money

B: Hah

B: That IS a lot of money.

B: I don't get a lot of these purchases.

J: I'm assuming that this contains ALL the Walking Dead issues?

B: At what point does it make financial sense?

B: Yes, it does.

B: By the way, I can only wait to see the look on someone's face.

B: Who hasn't read the series.

B: When they reach the last page of the last issue of the collection.

J: Heh

J: How many issues are there?

B: 24 issues.

B: Which IS a lot.

B: How's that breakdown?

B: Ouch.

J: But is someone who's a complete stranger to the book willing to lay down $150 for a book they never read?

B: Too much.

J: 6.25 an issue

J: Marvel is putting out a similar book for Alias

J: I think there was like 27 or 29 issues of that

J: $70

J: That's a fair price

B: Agreed.

B: This IS signed.

B: So that's something.

J: Ah

J: I was thinking that it blew you or something

J: I can see that as a worthwhile investment

CAPTAIN AMERICA #13$2.99

J: I loves me some Captain America

J: When I was 10, you know who my favorite character was?

B: Who?

B: Marmaduke?

J: Batroc Ze Leaper

J: But a close second was Captain America

B: I like Batroc!

J: I remember buying Cap #400 just because it was thick and had a nice cover

J: I had no idea what the hell Operation Galactic Storm was all about

J: But I liked Cap

J: My favorite part of the current run isn't really anything that goes on in the book

J: It's the INSANE reactions some people have to the possibility of Bucky being alive

B: Haha

B: I just want to know for how much longer

B: Is Brubaker going to keep doing the "It might NOT be Bucky!" routine.

J: Yeah

J: Its so funny

J: Back when #1 came out, I was saying "I think this guy who shot the Red Skull might
be kind of a big deal"

J: Little did I know that he was kind of the entire story

B: Also, speaking of Brubaker.

B: Is he really going to kill Foggy?

B: What the fuck?

J: I say no

J: Would Marvel REALLY put out that cover if it was gonna happen?

J: That being said

J: If he does die

J: I'm ok with it

J: You gotta figure that now that DD's secret is (sorta) out, everyone Matt knows has a target on their head

B: Bah.

B: It's Foggy Nelson.

B: You can't just keep having "What if Longterm Character X Dies?"

B: Because eventually you're gonna run out of longterm characters.

J: I wonder if Bendis is actually gonna write the issue where he dies

J: And then leave the rest in Brubakers lap

J: It takes the heat off Brubaker

B: Yes!

B: Like end the last issue with Foggy getting caught in a noose while having sex with Dr. Doom!

J: What a way to go

J: There are hundreds of choking-while-having-sex-related deaths every year

J: You just don't hear about it that much

B: And almost NEVER in comics!

B: It is the silent killer that we never talk about!

FANTASTIC FOUR BY J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI VOL 1 PREMIERE HC$19.99

J: I dont have much to say about this one

J: Other than that these premier hardcovers need to be stopped

B: Who do you think Johnny would take to the premiere?

J: Probably that skrull chick

J: I love the regular marvel hardcovers

J: But this shit isn't even oversized

J: It fucks up my bookshelf!

B: You mean the OLD Marvel Hardcovers, right?

B: Because I'm sorry to say

B: That I think this IS the "regular" Marvel hardcover now.

J: Nah, they're still doing the 30 dollar oversized ones

J: But my bookshelf is very important

J: And this ruins everything

OCT051957 PUNISHER VS BULLSEYE #2 (OF 5)$2.99

J: Whats with marvel holding on to the belief that they can keep the Punisher a part of the Marvel universe?

B: Why not?

B: And I think this is more about bringing Bullseye into the Punisher-verse.

J: I just like him better when ennis does him

B: Way is soooooooooo vibing on Ennis here.

J: I'd like to see Ennis do a bullseye story

J: Thats a character that is right up his alley

SPIDER-WOMAN ORIGIN #1 (OF 5)$2.99

J: I hear this book sucks

B: I think that was me.

B: Who told you that.

B: It is just soooooo boring.

B: I think they realize

J: And I think that this book and the upcoming series are gonna remind everyone why
the first spider-woman book failed

B: That no one knows anything about her.

B: So they think that they need to explain her origin to people.

B: But, as I have pointed out in the Urban Legends

B: Her origin was a joke.

B: And her SECOND origin was a desperate attempt at fixing her FIRST origin.

J: Is this an updated origin?

B: Yeah.

J: Or is this a retelling of old stories?

B: But an updated origin explaining the old origin.

B: So a LOT of talking heads.

J: Christ

J: I'll skip this

J: I had it on my list and everything

J: One of the weirder things about New Avengers is how suddenly everyone is a Spider-Woman fan

J: Or there are these hardcores that come out of the woodwork

B: Yeah.

B: And I think this is Bendis and Reed saying.

B: "Uh...her origin is still kind of a mess."

J: I think that the closer we look at Spider-Woman, the clearer we'll see that there's not much there in the first place

ULTIMATE GALACTUS BOOK 2 SECRET TP$12.99

J: I don't care what anyone says

J: I'm getting this

J: And I'm loving the whole Ultimate Galactus thing

J: It could be my ridiculous loyalty to Ellis talking

B: It could be.

B: I dunno.

B: I don't, like, hate it or anything.

B: I just can't get into it, that's all.

J: I think putting "this story takes place prior to The Ultimates 2" really robs the
story of whatever tension it has

J: but what are you gonna do?

B: True.

B: By the by...what is the last issue of Ultimates Vol. 2

B: Going to do to the Ultimate Universe?

B: It's gotta change it, no?

J: I think #10 will determine if anything SHOULD happen

B: Fair enough.

B: Maybe Reed Richards will show up and brainwash all the bad guys into thinking that
they are cows!

J: The thing about the Ultimate books is there's not a whole lot of superheroes

J: Most of them work for SHIELD

B: True.

B: And there is not enough hypnotizing people into thinking they are cows.

B: Morrison knew how important this was.

J: And then 25 years later exploiting it for a cool series

B: Note how he had J'onn brainwash the White Martians into thinking they were people.

B: That is because his first choice of making them think they were cows was taken.

J: He could have made them cows

J: Just for the hell of it

J: Morrison likes cows

J: I can think of 2 appearances of cows from New X-Men off the the top of my head

J: The Hindus are on to something

B: Damn you, DC!

B: Why did you restrain the White Martians from being cows!

B: See, I can also START Urban Legends! Hehe

ULTIMATE WOLVERINE VS HULK #1 (OF 6)$2.99

J: I like a good fight scene

J: That is why I'm buying this

B: I think there will be a polar bear in it.

J: Everyone is freaking out over the page where Hulk rips Wolverine in half

B: I think all comics should have a panel like that.

J: But the REAL story here is that for some reason, Hulk is wearing a dress

B: Like Katchoo should tear Francine in half.

J: That would get me to read Strangers in Paradise

B: Strangers in Paradise should also have a Vision backup.

J: And a dumb gold cover

B: You mean an AWESOME GOLD COVER!

J: Oh, right

B: You had me scared for a bit.

ULTIMATE X-MEN FANTASTIC FOUR SPECIAL$2.99

J: Whats this?

B: It is a crossover.

B: Weird, eh?

J: I've got this feeling that this book exists because Marvel didn't know if Singer
was gonna start his UXM run or not

B: Perhaps

B: Ferry's first Marvel work with his new deal.

J: I see they're keeping the "X4" cover title

J: Because that worked out SO WELL in the Marvel Universe

B: That was written by the very real Akira Yoshida!

B: Who wrote this one?

J: Kirkman, I think

J: One of Marvel's TEN TERRIFIC!!!!

J: Holy shit

B: By the by

B: How is Sean McKeever a Ten Terrific

B: Yet they never give him anything of note to write?

J: With a TEN TERRIFIC writer and an AWESOME gold cover, that shit should sell by the
truckload

J: It's like printing money

B: Ten Terrific is such a dumb idea.

B: Young Guns made SOME sense.

J: Barely

B: But Ten Terrific

J: But mckeever has been working for marvel for how long?

J: And NOW he's getting some recognition?

B: It is basically just saying "You should 'keep your eye on'....about 30% of our
comics!"

B: I mean, how is that marketing?

B: It is not SPOTLIGHTING anything

B: Unlike, at least, the Young Guns.

B: That WAS spotlighting only a few books.

J: It's something they can put on a cover

J: It might sell a few books

J: The distinction is weird though

J: "Hey everyone, these writers are TERRIFIC!"

J: "Those other guys aren't terrific"

J: "Hey, why isn't anyone buying Thunderbolts?"

B: Agreed.

B: Young Guns was a BIT more of a qualifier.

B: Although, even then, I think Epting was on the list.

B: A dude who's been working for Marvel since 1991.

J: Yeah, it makes no sense

X-MEN DEADLY GENESIS #2 (OF 6)$3.50

J: FINALLY!

J: An X-BOOK I CAN READ!!

B: Hehe.

B: Don't go there.

J: It isn't very responsible

J: But I really am digging this book

J: I like how Brubaker can maintain an aura of "I have no idea what is going on" yet still manage to be entertaining

B: Ha.

B: Yeah.

B: Although...if the bad guy is the third Summers Brother.

B: Kinda lame.

J: Yeah

J: I doubt it's him though

B: Because it's one of those "I'm using hardline continuity" things

J: It IS odd

B: While "But I hate continuity, so I am not going to make it fit"

J: On the cover to #2, he has blonde hair

J: And on the cover to #5, it's black

J: Either something is weird about this guy, or Marvel's colorists are screwing up

B: "See! Continuity is stupid!"

B: "We do not even keep his hair color straight!"

J: Why can't he be the fourth summers brother?

J: Who says there has to be 3?

J: Is there anything else this week?

B: Indies.

J: Pick a few

J: I'll make fun of their titles

B: That's okay

B: This is enough

Thanks, folks! Make sure to check back later to tell us how wrong we both were!

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