Give Him Some Rope, He'll Hang Himself

Now, I did not react that much to Joe Quesada's comments last week about Rawhide Kid being a MAX book, as it was a fairly off-the-cuff remark, and was not elaborated upon.

Likewise, I did not react that much when Rich Johnston went into further detail in his column, as, well, no offense to Rich, but his version was just that, his version of what Quesada told him, no direct quotes.

Yesterday, though, we got Quesada's own remarks on the issue, and man...it was pretty bad.

Here is the quote, direct from this week's Joe Fridays:

Okay, let’s first discuss why we labeled it MAX three years ago because those reasons still exist today if not more so because of the furor the original series caused in the media. Let me just say that there are many factors and considerations that are taken into account when making a decision like this and it’s not a decision that is made in a vacuum or without much internal consultation and consideration. It is also a decision that is not made lightly. Because of the strength of the Marvel brand we have to be sensitive to as many of our readers as possible and those readers come in many shapes and sizes. Because of that, and because we anticipated that Rawhide would be controversial we had to look at publishing the title in a responsible manner.

Yes, controversial.

This wasn’t going to be another costumed hero who was gay, this wasn’t going to be a supporting character or a one-time walk on or a passing story line. This was taking what has been for decades a symbol of American hetero masculinity (think John Wayne, Clint Eastwood) and showing a whole different point of view on the heroic ideal and doing it with an established character from the 50s who for decades graced the pages of what is considered in the mainstream (we in comics know better) as a child’s medium.

Yes, a cowboy who became a Wild West legend because he was the best fist fighter, the best gunslinger, and the guy who always saved the day by upholding all that is good and heroic, and yes he is all that and gay. Oh yeah, and he’s also a character whose comic you most likely picked up back when you were a little tyke.

Now, sex and sexuality have always been hot-button topics here in the states. We have to take into account that many of our readers are children whose parents may object to such content, especially discussions about alternative lifestyles. Many parents today want to be the source of information regarding sex and sexuality and all the different colors that comes in and we have to respect that choice. We have to operate under a business model that takes all points under consideration and weigh what is and isn't objectionable content in some people's minds.

Rawhide was labeled MAX because the major hook and focus of the project was the sexuality of the main character, a 50-plus year old established character. The reason the books featuring the characters you named in your question don't carry a MAX label is because that's not the focus of their books. The sexuality aspect of their lives is just one part of the whole that makes up their books, as opposed to Rawhide, where the fact that he was gay and his history was the major point of the book.

In comparing Rawhide to Brokeback Mountain, I was merely saying that it dealt with a Western icon motif that was gay. I do feel that that's a perfectly accurate comparison to make. Keep in mind that Brokeback was rated R, which means no one under 18 could see it unless accompanied by an adult, which is exactly what we are saying with MAX. Now, while I know that there is nudity in Brokeback, I don’t think it would have received a lower rating even if it that aspect was to be removed.

We understood, before publishing the title, the sensibilities of taking an established kids property and retconing him, we new it would be controversial and we knew that we had to be responsible as the publisher. Sure, could we have done this with a brand new character, probably. but it wouldn’t have done and had the same effect that Rawhide had. Like or loath the series, it broke ground and it established precedent and it said that it could be done.

So, while some may want to get up in arms three years later that it was labeled MAX, I don’t understand why we aren’t at least celebrating the fact that it happened, that it was published and we took on the naysayers and the hardcore fanmen and the letter writers and the bloodthirsty media. That was the true triumph of Rawhide. The book and the character now exist!

Look, the world changes, personal tastes and beliefs change. There are words, images, and ideas that weren’t an issue as little as five years ago. Today, they are considered a big no-no or controversial. Someday the pendulum will swing back, it is the way of civilization.

That said, who knows, perhaps someday when we decided to do another Rawhide series, perhaps a movie like Brokeback Mountain will have cleared a wide enough path where people will be much less reactionary, perhaps a gay cowboy will no longer be an issue. It’s just sad to me that once again Hollywood will have trumped us at our own game and managed to break ground where we couldn’t even though we dug out the first few shovel-fuls.

Rarely will you see so much spin to achieve basically nothing.

Do these statements mitigate the initial "We made Rawhide Kid a MAX book because he was gay" comments, like, at ALL?

That is some weak stuff right there.

I think it would have been a lot better to just say, "Yeah, sorry, we were dumb three years ago. It won't happen again" (and then proceed to not do another Rawhide Kid book).

Instead, we get, like, a gazillion paragraphs that amount to "It makes sense!" Which was not, I think, the way to play this at all.

Quesada had a real chance here to make his inital comments not sound so bad, and he blew it.

Read More

Mess Not With Bronze Age Superman!

Infinite Crisis gives us back the Old School Superman, if only for a while.

The "Old Superman" of the series seems to be an amalgam of old Supes-es: the Golden Age Two-Fisted New Deal Hero; the Silver Age Lois-Taunter; and a character who has been nearly ignored--the Superman of my own youth, the Bronze Age Supes.

This last version should not be forgotten or brushed aside. Oh no.

Mess not with Bronze Age Superman.

Not only would he administer the pimp slap to those who merited such disdain...



At least once, he took on the devils of hell itself. And not only did he beat them, as he did so he talked a tasty line of smack.



Beating the devil is admittedly a Mighty Feat. But Bronze Age Superman took it to another level, both theologically and whoopassedly...

He punched out angels.

And kept talking smack.



I halfway expect to someday find a comic hiding amidst the longboxes that shows him punching God in the neck.

Mess not with the Bronze Age Superman. He will end you.

Read More

New Comics You Should Own

If you're at all interested, you can head over to my latest Comics You Should Own column about James O'Barr's gothic masterpiece, The Crow. If you've only seen the movie, you're missing out on a visceral and disturbing experience (and I like the movie, by the way).

Read and learn!

Helping You To Buy Good Comics for 2/10

This is a special edition of this feature, because I am just going to give you one link.

Here it is - The Fantagraphics Store. As you may or may not know, the excellent Tales Designed to Thrizzle #1 and the equally excellent Ganges #1 are both sold out from comic distributors. They ARE still available, however, from Fantagraphics themselves. In fact, I just now (like, ten minutes ago) purchased both comics as a present for a friend of mine.

So, if you want access to good comics that are currently sold out - check out The Fantagraphics Store.

Comic Book Urban Legends Revealed #37!

This is the thirty-seventh in a series of examinations of comic book urban legends and whether they are true or false. Click here for an archive of the previous thirty-six.

Let's begin!

COMIC URBAN LEGEND: Elvis Presley based his famous hairstyle upon Captain Marvel, Jr.

STATUS: True

Everyone loves Captain Marvel, right?

For awhile in the 1940s, it was one of the most popular series of comics in the country!

Well, surprisingly enough, one young fan of the Fawcett heroes during the 40s was none other than Elvis Presley!



In her book, Elvis and Gladys, author Elaine Dundy wrote that Elvis Presley grew up as a large fan of Captain Marvel, Jr., and took the character's hair style as his own when he became older.

Says Dundy,

Behind Elvis there was another great legend: the metaphysical world of double identity comic book heroes. Elvis' favorite was Captain Marvel Jr., who looks, in fact, exactly like Elvis will make himself look for the rest of his life.

I would not believe it myself, except, well, why would you make something that random up?





I have to admit, you really can see it.

How trippy is THAT?

(Nod to Robby Reed, of the great blog, B Is For Blog, who I noticed, while looking for some quotes on this topic, also did a bit on this awhile back here).

COMIC URBAN LEGEND: The character Nightveil had to take her name because of violating a DC Comics trademark.

STATUS: False

As I have pointed out in past Urban Legends, the matter of trademarks in comic books is a very misunderstood field. In fact, it is a field that is often misunderstood even by people working IN comics!

That is the reason behind Bill Black changing the name of his character Phantom Lady to Nightveil. He did so not because he had made a trademark violation, but because DC comics THOUGHT he had made a trademark violation. According to an interview with Rik Offenberger, Black recalls

DC claimed they owned the name Phantom Lady and, in 1983, Dick Giordano (then DC editor) called me and asked me to cease and desist the use of the name. Big company pressuring a little company... I was just starting up, so I rolled over on this. I later discovered that DC had not and COULD NOT trademark the name Phantom Lady. But by then I had re-created the character as Nightveil. All this was a good thing because Nightveil has become such a great character far exceeding Phantom Lady in any incarnation. At AC we have a "retro" history as Femforce started during World War II. I created the Blue Bulleteer as the masked persona of Laura Wright before she becomes the sorceress, Nightveil. So from 1943 into the 1960s, Laura is Blue Bulleteer and runs around in a costume that is based on the Matt Baker, Fox Features version of Phantom Lady. The fans love it!

What Black is referring to is typical in the complicated world of trademarks.

Phantom Lady debuted as a Quality Comics character in 1941, but when she stopped being used by Quality, she was transferred to Fox Comics. It was at Fox (and as drawn by Matt Baker), that Phantom Lady became probably her most famous.

It was at Fox that the following cover was published, which was later included as a prime exhibit in Fredric Wertham's Seduction of the Innocent.



Well, Fox eventually went under as well. In 1956, DC purchased the rights to Quality's characters, but Phantom Lady continued to be printed in reprints of the Fox Comics (not counting Israel Waldman's infamous unauthorized reprints).

DC, however, felt that the transfer to Fox was illegitimate, and that DC owned the rights to the Phantom Lady character, just as it owned all the other Quality characters.

Here is where the trademark problem comes into play - the works were clearly now out of copyright, as they had not been renewed in the years between when they stopped being printed and when DC purchased the rights (1956) and the time DC told Black to cease and desist (which would be the early 80s). However, since the comics had been printed (via reprints) during this time, DC could not claim a so-called "traditional" trademark on the character, which is what someone would avail themselves of if they never bothered to register their trademark. DC could not use this because DC was not publishing the character during these years, and one of the hallmarks of trademark law is that, to be effective, you have to actual USE the trademark, and not just in a comic, but on the market (for instance, you would have to publish a comic using the trademark). DC did not do this. In addition, DC never tried to register Phantom Lady as a trademark, either, which it DID do with Plastic Man and Blackhawk.

Therefore, when it informed Bill Black that he could not use the name Phantom Lady, it was most likely in error. Black, of course, as he says above, did not wish to risk a big legal battle, so he relented, and Nightveil was born!



COMIC URBAN LEGEND: Steve Ditko once had a story censored for using the devil in a comic.

STATUS: True

Since the 1980s, the Comics Code Authority has not had much effect upon comics being published. However, when it first was introduced, it was enforced quite harshly, and even creators such as Steve Ditko felt the brunt, according to master Ditko historian, Blake Bell.

Bell relays the following interesting tale of Stan Lee censoring Ditko in an early 60s issue of Strange Tales...

The story consists of a vengeful socialite, who has supposedly met the man of her dreams at a party. Everyone is to take off their masks at midnight, but trouble lurks below.....



....once more Ditko's original ending is CENSORED. "What mask?" says the Devil, but clearly this would have corrupted too many young minds. Whomever reviewed this story at Marvel in 1961 (Stan Lee himself?) must have believed it to violate the Code's authority when it came to presenting the Devil. The last two inset panels are clearly not by Ditko's hand, and were clearly placed in afterwards to water down the story for the kiddies. POOF! He ain't the Devil anymore, and mankind survives to live another day!

Pretty weird, eh?

Well, that's it for this week, thanks for stopping by!

Feel free to drop off any urban legends you'd like to see featured!!

Read More

What I bought - 8 February 2006

Sometimes, people, comics come out that I think you should buy. Then, sometimes, comics come out that I warn you not to buy (not often, because I usually drop those quickly, but occasionally I buy a clunker). Then, sometimes, comics come out that you must buy to save your very souls. A few of those came out this week, among a pretty strong crop of books. And I get to rant again with visual aids! Won't that be fun!

Before we go on, I must warn everyone that today's post WILL contain images that are definitely NOT SUITABLE for children or uptight employers (or uptight people in general). Kids, go play Grand Theft Auto or something wholesome like that. Workers of the world, watch your backs - those who control the means of production may take offense at you gazing on such shocking images!

Action Philosophers! World Domination Handbook (issue #4) by Fred van Lente and Ryan Dunlavey
$2.95, Evil Twin Comics
 
 
Many people (including me) have lauded the first three issues of this series until we couldn't laud no more, so I'm sure you all ran out and purchased this yesterday to soak in the philosophical goodness. If you didn't, I fear for you. No, not from reprisals by me, although I would be completely justified. I fear that when you die and stand before St. Peter, he's going to ask you just one question: "Did you ever buy an issue of Action Philosophers!?" If you say yes, you get into Heaven with all the 72 virgins (I may have stolen that from somewhere). If you say no ... Well, let's just say someone else will be playing the role of virgin ...

People, people, people. In this, the latest issue of perhaps the most essential comic book ever, van Lente (for whom Cronin has a serious man-crush) and Dunlavey take on Marx (as a M60-wielding Rambo wannabe), Machiavelli (who is shown only in silhouette) and the Kabbalah (and you should buy it for the Britney Spears-giving-birth panel alone). As usual, our creative heroes give us plenty of factual information about the philosophers, while sprinkling the narrative with laugh-out-loud jokes and sly comic references (Pope Julius II leading a Renaissance Justice League is nice). There's simply far too much excellence in this comic to describe it all - I could go through almost every panel and find something worthwhile. The Marxist film teacher get bayoneted by the young Fred, who shouts, "Die, tool of the oppressors! Die!!" is just a random example of goodness. See? I fear for your eternal soul. Put down that issue of Sensational Spider-Man and pick this up!

Bomb Queen #1 by Jimmie Robinson
$3.50, Image
 
 
And then there's Bomb Queen.

Here's what's good about Bomb Queen. It's certainly interesting. The lead character is completely amoral, which makes her fascinating to a certain extent. For those of you who haven't heard about it, Bomb Queen took over Newport City ten years ago and killed or drove off all the heroes. She's still running the place, and a new candidate for mayor hires a hero to come in and take her out. The most interesting thing is that the people don't seem to mind that she's in power. They are fascinated by her celebrity, think her "take-no-prisoners" attitude is cool, and are happy to live their lives with the knowledge that someday they might come to a gruesome end, probably as collateral from one of her random bombs. It has a lot of potential to satirize America's celebrity culture and how far we will go for entertainment. On that level, it's a success.

Here's what's bad about Bomb Queen. First, a minor thing: I didn't like the lettering. Lettering should be like referees or umpires: they're good if you don't notice it (Seattle fans know what I'm talking about). This lettering is ugly:
 
 

However, that's a minor issue compared to the bigger issue: I feel like I need to wash my hands after reading it. Maybe Robinson wants us to be uncomfortable after reading it. But if he does, I suspect he wants us to be uncomfortable because of the parallels I was talking about in the previous paragraph. In a text piece at the end of the book, he certainly wouldn't mind if you thought that way about the book. However, it just made me feel icky reading it.

A great deal has already been made about Bomb Queen's outfit. It's so over-the-top, however, that I feel that Robinson is completely satirizing mainstream comic book costumes, much like Morrison and Giffen did in that Doom Force Special from the early 1990s. You see her costume on the cover. Here's a better look at it:
 
 
Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it defies the very laws of physics! But, unlike Daughters of the Dragon, I get the feeling it's meant to provoke a reaction from people, who will then declaim loudly how horrible it is, which will push up sales. Robinson is having some fun with us, and although I don't find it terribly funny, I can forgive him.

Actually, a problem I have with the book is that it's not gratuitous enough! How can I say that? Well, it's for "mature readers."¹ Fine. Curses fly from Page One. Dandy. Bomb Queen wears that ridiculous outfit. Then she goes home and takes a bath while watching television, which is a nice sequence because it ties in with that critique of celebrity culture I mentioned. But then we get this bizarre two-panel sequence:
 
 
Robinson deliberately and awkwardly obscures the nipples of his heroine a panel before he shows a completely naked woman. What the crap is up with that? Notice anything else strange? Let's zoom in on that completely naked woman:

Is she a robot? How will she ever have children? That's just weird.

So let's get this straight: a "mature readers" book, clearly labeled, can have curses flying left and right, the mutilation of an elderly secretary, Bomb Queen wearing that ridiculous outfit, nipples aplenty on others, but we can't see Bomb Queen's nipples or (won't someone think of the children?!?!) labia. That's just stupid. Put a thong on her if you're not going to have the balls to go all the way.

Oh, and Robinson's text piece at the end smacks a little too much of self-congratulations for being such a rebel. If you're such a rebel, Mr. Robinson, don't censor the nudity.

Phew. That was fun, wasn't it? Despite this, I rather liked Bomb Queen. At least enough to recommend it. It may make you angry, though.

DMZ #4 by Brian Wood and Riccardo Burchielli
$2.99, DC/Vertigo
 
 
I said I was dropping this after last issue, and I still am, but I think this may have been the only copy my comics shop ordered, so I felt kind of guilty about it, so I bought it. What the hell, right? It's not bad, just like the first three issues, but it's not great, also just like the first three issues. It's a stand-alone story in which Matt heads to Central Park and stumbles across a group of ex-Special Forces guys who have transformed the Central Park Zoo into their own little compound. These "ghosts" of course deny who they are, but they're not fooling anyone, least of all Matt. It's an interesting issue because these guys aren't just killers - they can kill, of course, but they're growing bamboo to barter because everyone has chopped down the trees, and they are taking care of the animals and using solar power. It's an interesting glimpse into how life might be like in the war zone - the first three issues showed us a different glimpse, and one that was more stereotypical, in my mind. The ghosts get in a gun fight with a roving band of tree-choppers, and one of the dying soldiers gives Matt the key to his mother's apartment, telling him it's secure. Presumably Matt will use this as a base.

Like the first three issues, it's certainly interesting, but it's just not grabbing me. Matt seems like way too much of a wuss, and the whole grand narrative just isn't all that compelling. I know I won't be getting the next issue, because I told the guy at my shop to stop getting it. So I'll say goodbye to DMZ for the second time. Goodbye.

Fables #46 by Bill Willingham, Jim Fern, and Jimmy Palmiotti
 
 
Holy crap, it's a Jim Fern sighting. Where has he been?

This is yet another good issue of one of the best titles out there - it's a two-issue "filler" story, but still serves to push the main narrative forward, at least a bit. It's the tale of a wooden soldier fighting in the front lines of the Arabian campaign, and he's writing a letter to Gepetto, whom he's never met, telling him about how he fell in love with a woodcarver, June. This presents a problem, as wooden people were not equipped to express their love - that's right, they're not anatomically correct! So Rodney (the soldier) asks Gepetto to turn him and June into humans so they can make the beasts with two backs. His commanding officer gets a hold of it and it displeased, and Rodney will face his fate next issue.

It's a relatively simple tale, but it shows again the thought Willingham has put into this world and its characters. Rodney and his cohorts are wooden men, but they aren't automatons. They look down on the "meat" soldiers, but Rodney soon realizes that the fleshy ones can do things even the wooden soldiers can't, despite the wooden soldiers' obvious superiority. The social commentary in the issue is interesting, as is the attempt by Rodney and June to hook up.

There's a lot going on in what could have been a simple fill-in love story issue. Which is why Fables is so good, of course.

Jonah Hex #4 by Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray, and Luke Ross
$2.99, DC
 
 
Here's the problem I have with this book: Jonah isn't enough of a scumbag. Oh sure, we think he's a scumbag, but he's really not. I certainly don't mind if he saves the girl and rescues her beau and punishes evil, but it should be kind of by accident. So far in this series, he's done the right thing simply because it was the right thing. Take this issue: he does the right thing because he suspects the guy he has brought in is innocent, and a "chat" with the mute girl convinces him. So he does the right thing. Boo! He's in danger of becoming a softie. I want him to ignore the fact that the bounty he brought in is innocent, ignore the pleading of the comely lass, and do the right thing because the bad guy pisses him off. Or do the right thing because someone pays him to. Or ... you get the idea.

Don't get me wrong. I love the single-issue stories, I like the characters, I like the action, I like the art. But Jonah is too nice. What would Clint say????

Legends of the Dark Knight #200 by Eddie Campbell, Daren White, and Bart Sears
$4.99, DC
 
 
200 already? I remember getting the first issue signed by Denny O'Neil back in State College lo those many years ago ...

I wonder about Campbell's involvement in this. He's the co-writer, so I wonder if he was sitting around at a con somewhere and threw the idea out there and later DC ran with it. If he was involved in any more significant way, it's certainly a strange pairing - Campbell and Sears. It's a decent issue, too - not because it's that surprising when Batman crashes into the emergency room with the Joker in his arms demanding that they save him first - it's kind of obvious he needs the Joker alive for some reason - and not because of the location of the third bomb - that's also pretty obvious. What's decent about it is the portrayal of Batman and the portrayal of the "little people" around him.

See, the cool thing about this title, when it works, is that it's not about Batman, necessarily. It can be, but Batman has taken on such mythic status in Gotham City and in our minds that we see him as a archetype, not necessarily a human being. This is fine for short stories like this. We get very little insight into Batman; rather, we get insight into the citizens of Gotham and how they react to him. This has been done countless times, but for me, at least, it doesn't get old, because there are infinite reactions to Batman. Therefore, in this issue we get Natalie Koslowski, a rookie intern at Gotham General Hospital. How she handles the crisis perpetrated by the Joker and her reactions to Batman bringing a critically wounded Joker into the ER make this an interesting story. It's not revolutionary, but it's good, solid storytelling.

Sears is Sears. You either like his style or you don't. His work here reminds me of his work on The Path, especially the thin horizontal panels, packing a lot onto each page. His Batman is ominous and stoic, as he should be in this kind of story. And a Batman story in which our hero grins menacingly can't be all bad!

It's not worth 5 dollars, unfortunately, but it is a pretty good read. Convince your local comics proprietor to give you a dollar discount!

One of the punks Batman beats up uses the word "abseiling." Would a common street punk know this word? I'm just wondering ...

The Middleman Vol. 2 #1 by Javier Grillo-Marxuach and Les McClaine
99¢, Viper Comics
 
 
Okay. Here's your second chance. To all you people who bought Countdown to Infinite Crisis even though you knew it was going to suck, simply because it was a dollar and why the hell not? I give you The Middleman. Here's a comic that doesn't suck, will make you laugh, and is only 99 cents. So what's your excuse?

This is the second comic I bought this week that is good for your soul. I don't think you'll go to Hell if you don't buy it, but if you don't buy it, you may have no sense of humor. You might want to check. It's quite a bit funnier than the first mini-series (which has come out in trade paperback for $9.95 - in digest format - so you should look for that, too), and it has a little bit more character development. Not a lot, because, after all, it's a goofy comic, but a little. Wendy is settling into her role as sidekick to The Middleman - he fights evil so you don't have to! - and she's thinking about the more seemly parts of the job - like how much she gets paid. She starts thinking about it because her roommate has taken a job waitressing at "Hooters," and a girl's gotta eat! (This contains one of the many funny lines in the book: Wendy says, "When we graduated from art school, we swore two things: No more autoerotic asphyxiation boyfriends -" and her roommate says, "What was with those guys? We were like magnets." Comedy gold, people!)

The Middleman is bringing in Sensei Ping to teach her martial arts, but he's called away when a famous diamond is stolen. Wendy is left to pick up Sensei Ping on her own, and here's where the hilarity really ensues. Grillo-Marxuach is poking fun at all the wonderful ninja dudes we've seen over the years, and he does it so obnoxiously that it becomes more bizarre and funny with each thing Sensei Ping says. He's wearing a Mexican wrestler's mask, for crying out loud! When he calls Wendy's car a "soiled prophylactic with wheels," you know you've reached comedic nirvana. But it keeps getting funnier!

Seek this out, padawans. You won't be disappointed.

Tales Designed To Thrizzle #2 by Michael Kupperman
$4.50, Fantagraphics
 
 
If you don't buy this, I fear for your soul. I also fear that we just can't be friends anymore. And I'm a great guy. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me?

I missed the first issue of this, and now I can't find it and I'm sad. So I snapped this up lickety-split, and you should too. You think Morrison's Brotherhood of Dada was Dadaist? You obviously haven't read a true Dada comic book. But Tales Designed To Thrizzle takes cares of that for you. It's so bizarre it would really be pointless to describe it. But it's howlingly funny. Sure, it's $4.50, but unlike Legends of the Dark Knight, it's worth every thin penny you slap down for it.

Each "story" is independent, and some are only a few panels long, while the longest is three pages. Kupperman throws so much wacky stuff at us that we can't ruminate on the insanity of, say, the Apiary Hat before we're thrown into the world of the Love Jumble! And then, just when we get a hankering for Merlin's Ham Banana Rolls, we discover how to recognize different kinds of trees and the criminals who hide behind them! If you want to know how to annoy large fish or keep bears from stealing your homework, then this is the book for you!

Have I convinced you yet? It has mentally ill gangsters!!!!

Ultimate X-Men #67 by Robert Kirkman, Tom Raney, and Scott Hanna
$2.50, Marvel
 
 
I read somewhere that Ultimate X-Men is just like the old Claremont Uncanny X-Men. That was a criticism. I say, hell yeah it's like that, and there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever! Every issue of this makes me appreciate good solid superhero comics. Kirkman has jumped into the pool with both feet - he has so much going on it almost leaves you breathless. Xavier, of course, is meeting with L. Ron Hubbard - whoops, I mean Lilandra Neramani - and he wants her money but he's suspicious of her "church" - and she doesn't help matters when she tells him what they worship. Meanwhile, Sabretooth has some revelations about Wolverine, Peter tries to re-connect with Kurt, Scott and Jean are trying to get it on, as are Rogue and Bobby. And of course there's that kid in the mansion who's parents are dead. Nick Fury wants to have a word with him.

This is just cool. It's just ... cool.

X-Men #182 by Peter Milligan and Salvador Larroca
$2.50, Marvel
 
 
Speaking of cool, this is a cool cover. And guess what? This is a surprisingly good issue, given that Apocalypse is the star of the book. Milligan is leaving the book, and that's not the worst thing in the world, even though he writes some cool issues like this one. Apocalypse seems actually menacing, and the way he creates his Horsemen is nasty and perfect. Rogue finds out that Mystique's guy, lamely called Pulse, has a nifty talent. However, in the scene with the two of them, he puts his hand on her arm, which is covered by a sleeve (unless, of course, her skin is green). She expresses surprise that she hasn't stolen his powers. She's wearing clothes? What's up with that? Despite that minor glitch, this is a very good issue. Milligan invests characters like Ozymandias with far more personality than anyone else ever has (as far as when I've seen him), and we get to see Shiro, which is always nice. There's a strange back-up story that features Shiro in Apocalypse's stronghold while the bad guy works on Gazer. I say strange because although it's a fine story, I'm not sure why it wasn't incorporated into the main story. Oh well. This is a nice way to set up the big Apocalypse storyline. I'm scared it will suck in the end, because it is, after all, Apocalypse, but this issue gives me hope.

Mini-series I bought but did not read.
 
 A redhead dressed in leather tied up. Wow - we've never seen that before.

 
 As far as I can tell, only Captain America - out of costume - and Reed - for a couple of pages - appear in this book. Never mind scenes not appearing on covers, now we have most of the characters on a cover not showing up at all in the book. If that's true, they should have put Ultimate Werewolf By Night and Ultimate Sleepwalker on the cover. Now that would have been cool.

So. Let's review. Buy Action Philosophers! or you will almost surely go to Hell (I won't say it's 100%, but I have e-mailed the Pope for confirmation), buy The Middleman or everyone might doubt if you have a sense of humor, and buy Tales Designed To Thrizzle or we might not be friends anymore. Are we clear?

¹ I'm sure someone has pointed this out before, but why are "mature readers" anything but?

Read More

A Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa Sized Roadblock

Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, if you do are not familar with the name, is probably best known (in the world of comics at least - outside of comics, he is best known for being a playwright) as the man hired to replace Mark Waid on Fantastic Four, only to have Marvel reverse their decision, but instead create a NEW Fantastic Four title for him. At the time, I did not think that he had made the transition to comics that well. He clearly had interesting IDEAS, but I do not think he did a good job at transferring those ideas into sequential art. Eventually (and I think, like most writers moving from one medium to another, it really just takes some time), he corrected this, and became, I felt, one of the best mainstream superhero writers in the business. One could say that is just damning with faint praise, and there probably IS something to be said for that, but suffice to say that I felt that he was a talented comic book writer. Today marked the release of TWO of his comics - the latest issue of Marvel Knights: 4 (now renamed just 4) and his first issue as writer of Marvel Knights: Spider-Man (now renamed The Sensational Spider-Man). Sadly for me, with this, his highest profile day in comics, I think that Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa hit a roadblock with both titles.

On Four, I think that he has almost the exact opposite problem from when he began writing the book, which is that Aguirre-Sacasa has mastered the style needed to write a comic book, but his ideas have slimmed down. It is interesting to note that, when he was announced as the new Fantastic Four writer, part of the deal was that he was going to be the "accessible" writer. As time progressed on his comic, though, his book became geekier and geekier. However, I think that he used it as a plus. His work was fresh and new, while still managing to work in the complex continuity that the Fantastic Four has built up over 40 years. He did the good idea of using the good stuff (or stuff he thinks is good) and not using the bad. I was exceptionally impressed with his use of the Time Variance Authority. He used it very well in a recent time-travel storyline.

This current storyline, though, I think he has reached too far. I thought that the Salem's Seven were dorky when Doug Moench was writing the book (and Bill Sienkiewicz was drawing it...can you imagine a weirder match on FF today? But at the time, it was fairly typical, as Bill was definitely in the "Do not look different" mindset with his pencils), and they really have not improved any since the early 80s. Meanwhile, a good deal of the interest in this story REVOLVES around any interest we may have in the Salem's Seven and their father, Nicholas Scratch. Aguirre-Sacasa obviously digs these characters, as I believe he's even said in an interview that, with this storyline, he's been able to "bring back some of my favorite classic characters from the FF mythos," but I do not think that he has transferred that love to the page. Instead, he seems to have fallen victim to the ol' "I like these characters, so everyone else must, too" trap that a lot of writers are prone to use (I find that this happens the most with classic Jack Kirby characters).

The storyline has reached three parts, and I do not think that Aguirre-Sacasa has used his players well, at all, really. For instance, he has Doctor Strange guest-star, but except for a few panels in this issue, Strange doesn't actually DO anything. I get that, often, when writers guest-star Strange, they often make the title character seem like a guest-star in their own book (*cough*JMS*cough*), but Aguirre-Sacasa should be a good enough writer to AVOID that happening. Instead, we get an over-extended look at some 80s characters who, if we were not already invested in, we would certainly not BECOME invested in them based on this issue.

Arrist Valentine De Landro basically gets out of Aguirre-Sacasa's way, and just lets him tell the story, which I think is a good thing, as the last thing this story needed was poor art as well. In any event, to break this issue down for you, if you enjoyed Moench and Sienkiewicz's Fantastic Four run, you might like this issue. Everyone else? I think you'd be disappointed.

The Sensational Spider-Man #23, though, is a whole other story. Four at least was a well-structured tale - I do not think I can say the same for the Spider-Man issue. However, a good deal of that may result from the just awful Angel Medina artwork in this comic. I do not dislike Angel Medina as an artist. He has done some good work in the past, but what I think this issue suffers from greatly is Medina being brought upon the book as some sort of "star" artist, as Medina appears to have been given WIDE discretion in how to illustrate this tale, and pretty much every decision he makes is wrong, so I do not know if you can begrudge Aguirre-Sacasa that much. Every time a scene calls for subtlety, Medina cannot even come close to pulling it off. For instance, have you ever seen someone dramatically bend down to pick up something from the floor? Well, in this comic you will see that. You will also see characters strike poses impossible anywhere outside of Bart Sears' wildest dreams.

So, with a good artist, this might have been a decent enough story, but even then, I think this would be a fairly pedestrian story. If you have ever had the misfortune to read the first storyline in Todd McFarlane's Spider-Man, you can basically skip this comic. It is told better than Torment (as, well, it is the difference between McFarlane and Aguirre-Sacasa), but close enough to really make it not worth your time. I was really hoping that Aguirre-Sacasa could bring this Spider-Man title UP to the level that I think Aguirre-Sacasa is capable of, but sadly, it seems to have brought him down to the level I expect from Spider-Man comics, which is treading water in drudgery.

However, I do not think you can fake the talent Aguirre-Sacasa has shown so far in his comic book career. Therefore, I will continue (until proven otherwise) to believe that Aguirre-Sacasa is still on his road to being one of the big names in mainstream comics...I just think he has hit a roadblock on the way.

Read More

Funniest Joke That, Like, Ten People Will Get

In this week's Marvel Adventures: Fantastic Four #9, the issue ends with the Fantastic Four answering mail from viewers/readers. One question is "Jim O., in Ann Arbor writes, 'Why don't you kick Reed out of the group? All he does is stretch, and that's lame.'"

The other three members defend Reed, including Sue referincing a bust of Abraham Lincoln, saying, "Remember our 15th president? Abraham Lincoln was tall and skinny like Reed, but um...no one thinks he was lame!"

I thought that that was a hilarious joke by Jeff Parker, although you have to wonder how many people will have any idea what he is referring to.

Greg thinks that most comic fans would get the joke (I knew Greg would be one of the folks to get the joke). So let's do an experiment. Comment here if you get the joke.

Chats Should Be Good - Karl Kesel

I always enjoyed Karl Kesel's Adventures of Superman, and I think his Final Night was probably the third best (just barely behind Invasion!) crossover DC ever did, so I am looking forward to the chat Karl is having at Comic Book Resources this Thursday at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern.

Besides being a writer (whose other credits include Hawk & Dove, his own Section Zero, creating the current Superboy and writing most of the issues of Superboy's ongoing title), Kesel is also a talented inker. I particularly enjoyed his work over John Byrne's pencils on Superman. Currently, Karl is inking Mike Wieringo on Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

Hope to see some of you folks there!

Read More

Comic Quotes Should Be Good for the 2/1 Comic Week

On the side of this blog are a lot of fine blogs where folks talk about comic books. Each week I pick out ten cool quotes about comics from those blogs during the past comic week. I cannot promise that my picks will be thorough, or even the best quotes. They are just quotes that made me laugh or smile or say, "Good line." Please note that the folks who write on this here blog (Comics Should Be Good) are excluded, as it strikes me as a bit too self-serving to quote any of them here. But be assured that I think they are all quite good!

Let's begin!

David Welsh revisits a comic that I previously quoted him on,

This isn’t quite a retraction, per se, because I stand by what I said about Nothing Better #1. But I’m very, very happy to see that Tyler Page is focusing more on incisive observations of college life than highly charged confrontations between members of his cast of students.

Having read the second and third issues of Nothing Better online, I’m delighted to find a sharp, thoughtful, character-driven comic that explores spiritual themes from a variety of perspectives. As much fun as the occasional histrionics of the first issue were, those moments pale in comparison to the smart, detailed character work of the subsequent installments.

And characters move to the forefront in issues two and three, with Jane and Katt navigating around their initial misunderstandings and trying to handle the big and small issues that come with living on your own for the first time. Part-time jobs, the cost of books, what happens when you die – all are addressed in ways that are frank, subtle, and specific to the people involved. (Page even manages to do credible, engaging renderings of the act of teaching, which is right up there with journalism in terms of professions that have been mangled by comics.)

I can’t say I’ll ever be crazy about reading comics online. I like to be able to see each page as a whole and to hold it in my hands. But I’m very glad that Page has made the books available in this way, because it lets me follow his cast as it evolves and matures.

Jog once again picks me up by doing a good review on a comic I really, really should have reviewed here, Seven Soldiers: Bulleteer #3,

There’s a lot of bits of commentary in this issue - Morrison depicts the convention scene as basically a wasteland of misplaced superstar posturing, vapid exchanges of information, and undisguised sexploitation (the somewhat sparse turnout for the ‘Sweethearts and Supervixens’ panel was a nice touch, as was Thumbelina’s costume design). And just in case anyone happened to forget the ongoing industry critique of this project, Morrison has Mind Grabber Man pretty much spell it out:

“I’m a damn good guy and I want to be recognized for that before all my potential just… just turns sour with neglect. Instead I’m caught up in a nostalgia freakshow that never ends. Look at us. Selling our precious memories for bed and board, reliving the times when our hopes reached the high water mark… and then just receded… I’m not like any of those losers!”

Surely the intent behind this project’s extended delving into the revamping of old superheroes can’t be more explicitly put than that! It’s not just ‘the industry convention as metaphor for the industry itself,’ though there’s some of that too, it’s also another summation of the project’s aims, which exist on both within and without the confines of the story itself (in that it’s both about the act of revamping superhero properties and the actual transformations that characters themselves undergo). It’s probably too blunt here for my tastes, actually, but at least it arises through some genuine character motivation and development - and besides, Bulleteer also seems to be the place for Morrison’s little confessions and times for sounding off, what with last issue’s apparent acknowledgement of the project not really working as a series of miniseries anymore.

Ironically enough, Bulleteer is working a bit better than average as its own thing, as evaluated from a strict ‘plot points’ perspective. The bits with Vigilante constitute a really big plot twist for the overall plot, though his participation in Bulleteer itself is fairly consistent, and nicely set up from last issue to this. It’s maybe the kind of moment that makes you a bit mad, as you catch a glimpse of the project’s plots suddenly working on several structural levels at once, though I hasten to add that every series does retain their own individual mood and themes, if not anything in the way of a conclusive ending. More and more I wonder if Morrison has been forced to hedge his bets - a nice, 30-issue maxiseries for those who desire sealed-off endings and thorough A-to-B-to-C resolutions, and individual (more open-ended) spins on motivation and other character work for each miniseries. This necessarily sacrifices the pleasure of those who desire closed-off plot resolutions for the individual miniseries, and I suppose it’d have been nice if Morrison had been able to pull that off too. But following Seven Soldiers in serialization is partially a study in careful compromises, apportioning strengths where they need to go when it’s discovered that they can’t cover everything.

Scott (not the Polite one) takes a look at the Essential Defenders Volume 1,

I was given the Essential Defenders for Christmas and I was thrilled to dig into it, since I haven't read any of the earliest issues and I knew that some interesting writers and artists worked on the title. When I was a young comic book reader, the Defenders always got a bad rap simply because they weren't the JLA or the Avengers. My comic book peers didn't seem to realize how it was interesting to see how a group of second-tier heroes interacted and dealt with threats to Earth. I have very fond memories of reading and re-reading the 100th anniversary issue, which made me a fan of the Silver Surfer for life.

I have to admit that I have to give this Volume 1 a fairly mixed reviews, as it comes across (like so many post-1970 Marvel titles) as extremely schizophrenic. Here goes nothing:

The Good

1. The introduction of Valkyrie really added a lot to the team and the title. Making her a permanent fixture in the Marvel Universe (from her initial temporary existence from Avengers #83) was handled well and was very creative.
2. The issues featuring the Squadron Sinister (and the Extreme Makeover of Nighthawk) was great, and far superior to the Avengers issues.
3. The art is consistently good (which is rare for a Marvel book in the 70s). Nice stuff from the Andru/Everett team and just about any of the inkers seems to be a good fit for Sal Buscema's pencils.

The Bad

1. Part of it is personal, as two of the key members (Dr. Strange and Sub-Mariner) were never my favourite Marvel heroes.
2. Another aspect of the book (especially the earliest issues), is that they are too full of the mysticism that seemed to be all the rage in Bronze Age Marvel books. All of the interdimensional demon stuff has never been my cup of tea (that's probably why I've never really connected with Dr. Strange.
3. I could have lived without the pre-Marvel Feature issues. While I realize they explain how the 3 core characters first hooked up - they felt disjointed and really suffered from what I mentioned in #2 above.
4. After all of the great things I've heard, the Avenger/Defenders war was quite a let down.

The Ugly

1. The production quality is variable, some of the reprinted pages are quite murky and one of the cover reprints barely fit onto the page. The binding on this volume does, however, hold together better than some of the other Essential books (hello Iron Fist).

Jon Cormier tries some movie comparisons with Local and Nextwave,

Local, like Nextwave, are two books where I find myself actually liking the art more than the story being told. For me, good comics are a combination. One needs to work with the other, however, I tend to forgive a lot if the plot, characters and other bits where the writer has more sway are stronger than the art. That’s just where I come from and what I bring to the medium. I’ve got too many English degrees not be drawn towards that aspect of comics. I can forgive artists a lot because I don’t feel overly qualified to critique them too much.

So yeah, Nextwave. If Local is the experimental indy film, Nextwave is the slapstick comedy. Again I think a lot of what made Nextwave funny simply works better in film or other hot media. Whereas in Local I was drawn out by reading the same dialogue repeatedly, in Nextwave I think a lot of the humour involved would be funnier if delivered by live actors. Again, not that it isn’t funny or that comics can’t be funny – but the humour seemed to be based around character acting. I simply think it’s best if the characters aren’t static. Yes I think the art is dynamic and awesomely so, but even dynamic characters can’t deliver a line the way an actor can. It’s left to the reader to interpret too much. So while I think the art is dynamic, it still can't help but remain static on the page.

I do think that Nextwave is like the ultimate comic insider comedy. I just don’t feel like enough of an insider yet to get it all. So while a few of you will now call for me to be expelled from comic blogdom, that’s my bit. I hope it gives a balance to the overwhelming love these books have been given. I felt like a leper or a communist for not liking them as much as what I’ve read out there. But hey, I like All-Star Superman. I don’t completely suck.

Jake at Ye Olde Comick Booke Blogge, takes an amusing look at Fantastic Four Annual #4, the first appearance of Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man,

Jamie is excited to see someone else who is "different." Thing, unfortunately, is in no mood to play ambassador and when Madrox doesn't get off the track, Ben Grimm decides to settle things with his fists.

Thing weighs about 500 pounds, can lift more than 80 tons, and is covered in a rock-like hide, yet his first punch bounces off Madrox. A second punch causes Madrox to multiply and the two lay Thing out in one punch.Thing tries to fight the Multiple Man, but every hit just adds new opponents. The Madroxes toss around the man who's held his own against the Hulk on many occassions as though he were a malnourished second grader fighting a yeti.

Six hours later, he wakes up in the Baxter Building, conveniently, just as Jamie Madrox is approaching. For some reason, Madrox has been walking from Queens into Manhattan, attracted to the Baxter Building "as a moth is drawn to a flame." As he walks, every electrical anything behind him goes dead.So far, he's beaten the Thing within an inch of his life and killed every electrical appliance in New York City. He also inexplicably makes it to the roof of the Baxter Building... somehow, where he meets Johnny Storm and needs all of one punch to take the Torch out of the fight.The punch so discombobulates Human Torch that he loses his flame and plummets from the roof toward certain death if not for the quick thinking and long reach of Mr. Fantastic.

Seeing as his two teammates have had their asses handed to them, Reed decides to go for the trifecta, using his stretchy powers to bind Madrox. To his credit, Mardox doesn't take him out with one punch and he does last longer than either Thing or Torch, but the end result is still the same.For the record, he smacks around Medusa (who was the replacement to Sue at the time) later as well. In the midst of the fight, Professor X shows up in a helicopter and tells us some of Jamie's biographical information. Madrox politely waits in the wings for the exposition to finish before unleashing his rage and a horrific smackdown upon the guys who made Galactus turn around and leave.

When Jamie was born, his powers were immediately apparent when the doctor slapped him on the butt and his turned into two babies. Jamie's dad, one of the nation's top scientists, abandonned his work on projects like solving world hunger to move to the middle of Kansas, far from anyone else, and raise his son in issolation. This was, we learn later, at the suggestion of Professor X. He invented for Jamie a suit that dampened the impacts that caused him to multiply.

When Jamie was fifteen, a tornado killed both his parents. He continued to live alone for six more years until electrical appliances started blowing up around him for no reason. At that point, he decided to walk from Kansas to New York, during which time no one noticed him until he stepped on the subway tracks in Queens.

Xavier figures out the suit is malfunctioning because no one has maintained it since Jamie's dad died. Raising several more questions than it answered.Where to begin? If some of the circuits are blown, removing them won't fix the problem. They'd need to be replaced. If the bulb in a lamp blows out, you don't light up the room just by unscrewing it. Second, Jamie's suit is designed to prevent his multiplying, disconnecting it won't prevent him duplicating again. Third, his suit, again, dampens impacts and prevents duplication. It doesn't give him superstrength nor invulnerability to fire. When the malfunction first occurs, it causes him great pain as the suit soaks up all the power of a TV and a blender. Shouldn't all the electricity of at least two boroughs have killed him? The explanation is given that somehow the power is fueling him, making him super strong and--I guess--giving him some kind of force field.

It's a stupid explanation.

Anyway, the team that regularly faces off with Dr. Doom every other Tuesday and consistantly kicks his ass steels its courage and hopes against hope it can hold its own against another onslaught from Madrox. Reed Richards wrestles the original and fixes his suit while the rest of the FF pray their deaths with be quick and with honor. Fortunately, they have Professor X's power to elongate his head on their side. I forgot until I read this a second time that not everyone knew Professor X was a mutant at this time, so his pulling out the telepathy was a big deal.

The Professor thanks the Fantastic Four for their help and takes the unconscious Jamie Madrox for deprogramming.

Today, Madrox is a private detective who uses his duplicates to gather information for him, making it hard to believe he once was just one telepathic "Sleep, Jamie. Sleep." suggestion away from stomping a mudhole in the Beyonder.

Dave Ferraro takes an interesting look at Secret Comics Japan, an anthology of "underground” or “secret” manga,

Fortunately, after these first two entries, the book improves dramatically, as all of the remaining pieces are good to excellent. Yoshitomo Yoshimoto’s “Jr.” presents a very silly premise (Jr. is a 32-year old elementary school student…it is never explained why), which is interrupted by moments of shocking violence and pornography. Very well drawn, with characters you come to care about despite the brevity of the tale and the absurdity of the premise. Kiriko Nananan’s two short stories, “Heartless Bitch” and “Painful Love” are too brief to prove really satisfying in and of themselves, but do work well as samples from an obviously talented cartoonist. Shintaro Kago’s “Punctures” seems to be a story the artist made up as he went along, utilizing grotesque horror images to great effect. Benkyo Tamaoki’s “Editor Woman” is a funny and well crafted example of pornographic manga, which Shiratori suggests may be the last true “underground” manga in Japan. The sex is explicit and no doubt “useful,” but there is a surprising amount of interaction between the characters while fully clothed, and it’s clear that Tamaoki cares about his characters, and wants his readers to care about them, as well.

One of the best pieces in the book was Makoto Aida’s “Mutant Hanako.” A fine artist who wished to become a manga artist, Aida originally created “Mutant Hanako” as an addendum to one of his art exhibits, printed on ultra cheap newsprint and limited to 300 bound copies. The story is drawn in unlinked, crude pencils, and is at once a critique and a celebration of manga. The outrageous story involves Hanako, a young girl (she is nude throughout much of the story) and her battle against the Americans (depicted as demons) during World War II, as they attempt to drop the atomic bomb on Japan. She is unsuccessful in her attempt, and ends up strapped, naked, to the bomb as it is dropped on the city. The explosion (described by one of the Americans as a “big cock of smoke!”) and its aftermath are depicted in all of their gory detail, with one particularly disgusting scene of a girl’s slow disintegration from radiation poisoning. Miraculously, Hanoko survives, reborn as the super powered Mutant Hanako, and she joins together with a young boy to once again battle the Americans. The story doesn’t end there, and goes on to involve a good deal more outrageous violence and sex (between the two apparently adolescent protagonists), all gleefully depicted in lurid detail. Clearly, Aida does not intend this work to be taken seriously, which is exactly the point. As a fine artist, Aida admires the freedom manga artists have to indulge their more prurient interests, but is critical of them as well. The story’s treatment of the atomic bomb points out Aida’s feelings that examining serious themes through an inherently juvenile medium is ridiculous at best and offensive at worst. I’m not sure I agree with this idea (in fact, I’m fairly certain that I don’t), but I admire Aida’s creative way of examining the issue.

Mark Singer begins his slow descent into Grant Morrison madness with his second Morrisonarama,

Here's where I make some very belated contributions to conversations that began while I was otherwise occupied...

...Happily, even though it features a tour and a mystery inside the Fortress of Solitude All-Star Superman #2 doesn't retell "The Super-Key to Fort Superman," one of the most grossly over-homaged stories of the Silver Age. No, Morrison does an end run around comics entirely and retells the legend of Bluebeard instead. An inquisitive woman (who contemplates her future as Superman's wife), a forbidden room, intimations of a horrifying fate... is this what Morrison meant when he talked about "science fiction folk tales" and a mythology for the modern age?

...Mister Miracle seems to be the least popular of the Seven Soldiers miniseries, but Shilo Norman's torments in the third issue have struck a chord with some readers, redeeming the earlier issues at least partially. Unfortunately, I had just the opposite reaction.

It all gets off to a swell start as Shilo loses his career to an imitator, his friends to an emotionally numbing fad, and, temporarily, his sense of self-worth to the Anti-Life Equation, cutely rendered as a meme so horrific that Dark Side's word balloon can't even represent it lest we go mad. This triggers a wonderfully-executed three-page sequence that carries Shilo through the dark nights of the soul experienced by his fellow male New Yorker Soldiers in their third issues. As Jog ably comments (at the above link), the scene works as an overt psychologization of Kirby's concerns in the original Fourth World comics and as a kind of magnification or explication of the story formula that all the other Seven Soldiers series follow. So far so good.

The problems begin when Metron shows up to inspire Shilo with some words of confidence and a simple display of human kindness. This is very much in the tradition of Kirby's Fourth World, where the most fondly regarded issues built up to charged, apocalyptic epiphanies: Scott Free's insistence on his own independence in "Himon," the pacifist son's final battle and transformation in "The Glory Boat," or--perhaps my favorite scene in the Kirby canon--Izaya's renunciation of Darkseid's methods and his search for a better way in "The Pact."

But Kirby allowed those transformative scenes to sprawl for pages, serving as the climaxes for their entire chapters, whereas Morrison tosses Shilo's torment and resistance out in a single page; Shilo is saved by two word balloons and a single panel reminding him that Dark Side's equations don't account for everything in the human condition. There may be single panels capable of conveying such a stirring renunciation of despotism and depression, but the cloying picture of two nice gentlemen helping ladies don their coats in the rain isn't one of them. (I do like the background detail of the Manhattan Superhero Museum, a reminder of all the qualities Morrison loves about superheroes--their selflessness, for example--that refute Dark Side's equations. But the weight of Metron's counterargument and Shilo's resistance have to rest on something more substantial, and the two courteous gentlemen just don't cut it.) Morrison follows it up with yet another round of torment, this time more physical, and a visit from Dark Side and another visit from the fallen gods of New Genesis, which promises a last chance I'd rather not see advertised at this cliffhanger point in the miniseries.

I don't necessarily mind the placement of Shilo's redemptive epiphany so far in advance of the series' climax--Peter Hesnel observes that Mister Miracle is following the basic plotline of the Jesus myth and so this third issue, the dark night of transformation in Jog's formula, is a Kirbyesque take on the temptation in the desert/garden. The big finish and the real moment of redemption will no doubt reserved for next issue, when Shilo Norman puts his modern spin on the most famous escape trick of all time--The Empty Tomb! But the pacing of this third issue is too rushed to do justice to the Kirby epiphanies it so clearly wants to echo. I never thought Grant Morrison would have me longing for the days of narrative decompression, but there you go.

Ragnell takes an interesting look at the major death in Rann Thanagar War Infinite Crisis Special,

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

W
A
R
N
I
N
G

Jade, however, had survived a Lantern-wide purge and a cursed boyfriend through the grace of her family ties.

I always had problems with that aspect of her concept. Jade was guaranteed a certain amount of panel-time due to comic-book nepotism. She inherited, if not in-character, butmetatextuallyy, a certain amount of status from her father. She was a princess, present in stories because of her royal connections. The plotlines were dependent on her father, her brother, or her boyfriend. She was defined by them, she was "the Good Daughter" "The Strong Sister" and "The Supportive Lover/Helper" -- she was teacher, mother, daughter, sister, nuturer to the men of the Green Lantern books. She was always defined as reliable and skilled in dialogue. Nightwing called her a "veteran," Kyle called her "the better hero" and Kilowog described her as a "True Lantern" -- she's never had any actions to cement these definitions, but this is how the males around her define her. Mostly, she offered sympathy, a helping hand (but not too much of one) and a supportive shoulder. She tied generations and legacies together as a romantic tie.

No wonder her character became so reviled for the "Cheating plotline." She violated the sacred trust, the sacred contract. She was Guinevere, a princess with an inheritance, tearing the kingdom asunder for passion (and, before you side with her -- passion for a man who did not respect her enough to be faithful to her!). One of her 3 chief bonds, the relationships that defined her character was severed by her thoughtless actions. Her concept as a supportive woman was destroyed.

This wasn't just a mistake. This was a characterization catastrophe. At the core of her very concept wasfamilyl and unity -- bringing generations together, and here she was shutting the door on the latest generation of Lanterndom. This woman who was built on family was becoming a divisive presence in the family.

And so, for the anti-feminist basis on which her concept was built (a womandependentt on males for definition, a female fundamentally less powerful than similar males) in addition to a complete lack of anything of interest in her personality, I always figured it was best that she die. There was an entire Corps of Alien Lanterns out there. We had nuturers in the form of Kilowog and Guy, rough and tough and manly but still supportive caretakers at heart. Our alien females had been young students (Arisia), nuturers (Brik,sherifff Mardin), warriors (Boodika, Laira) and sharp thinkers (Katma and now Soranik). Better to get rid of Jade and her nepotism now, and give some others some screentime, maybe a resurrection or two.

I feel bad now. I was hoping for a noble end to a much maligned character. I figured she'd get a nice swansong, with a good show of power, the chance to save the life of Alan (beloved father), Kyle (spurned lover), or, to really make her selfless, Donna (traditional rival). I mean, Blue Beetle got a decent farewell.

No such luck.

Jennie's quiet and demur, and clearly missed Kyle and regrets the split. She's the sweet young lady from Infinity Inc again. Kyle and her are a comfortable pair of old lovers who've been apart long enough to forget why they were apart in the first place.

She acts to boost his confidence. She tells him he's the creative one (sadly true), how much this feels like old times, and of course, warns him that the enemy will betargetingg him, as he is the bigger threat (which, yes, he is. Jade's always portrayed as a lesser Lantern than a member of the Corps). This used to be her vital role in Kyle's life, but he no longer needs someone to do that.

She is there to help and protect, but she does not die doing so. She's behind him when lightning strikes her.

It was disappointed.

A mediocre end for a mediocre Lantern.

Perhaps the most suitable one, however.

Remember Power of Ion? Jennie had lost her personal power, but was given power in the form of a ring by Kyle. During this storyline, he "awakens" her personal power again, because she cannot do it alone (I was uneasy with this one when I first read it). I don't think Kyle was lying. I think he's very good at deluding himself. It's revealed at Jennie's death that in truth the power she had was his gift all along. He protests, but she insists on returning it.

Perhaps this is a good feminist parable. A truth to illustrate what happens when you draw not on your own personal strength, but on power allotted by the men in your life.

Tim O'Neil writes a nice letter to Marvel comics, which might get him on that A&E show, Intervention,

Dear Marvel Comics,

First, thanks for publishing so many Essential volumes, and for publishing artist-specific hardcover tributes which - even if I can't afford to buy them all - are still something we'll probably never see from DC. So I appreciate that.

But more importantly - and the reason I am writing you today - I want to ask what the hell you're thinking re: this whole new costume for Spider-Man thing. I'm not asking this as a fan - because I don't buy any Spider-Man comic books anymore, and I haven't in a long time. I'm merely asking this as someone concerned for the mental health and well-being of everyone responsible.

There's an old saying that goes something along the lines of "insanity consists of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different resutls each time". I've heard this attributed to Benjamin Franklin, but the provenance is possibly older. It's a recurring idea in addiction literature, particular the literature of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous: if drinking leads to negative, self-destructive and injurious consequences, why do so many alcoholics rationalize their backsliding behavior with the old "one drink won't hurt me" shtick? They've seen, time and again, that one drink leads to two drinks leads to losing your wife and children and job, but somehow, if they've got a little bit of sobriety under their belt, they think that just one beer will be enough to tide them over . . .

Now, imagine a comic book company as an alcoholic. It's easy to understand why certain negative behaviors are repeated year in and year out - because the negative repurcussions are so far removed from the original incident that it's easy for an institution to forget. People don't seem to have a memory for these types of things that goes back longer than a few months, let alone years or decades, so the same mistakes get made over and over again. No one wants to remember that certain behaviors have negative consequences because it's easy to lose track when the short-term results are so gratifying. But some negative consequences are more immediate.

If you will allow me to mix my metaphors: if the comic book company is a recovering alcoholic / drug addict, the different sales gimmicks and strategies represent differing levels of drug abuse. Something like a line-wide crossover is so ubiquitous and accepted that it's essentially the equivalent of chain-smoking cigarettes. The short term gains are small but the long term negative consequences are such that it's easy to pretend that they don't exist - until you've been smoking for thirty years and your doctor tells you that you have six months to live. You probably know, in your head that you should quit, but it's just so easy to smoke one more pack . . .

Something like buying your own distributor and trying to leverage a dwindling retailer base with strong-arm tactics . . . that's more like smoking heroin out of the skull of an iguana after downing half a bottle of 151 while careening down the LA Freeway at 90 miles an hour. If you live at all, the hazy memory of your brush with death will probably keep you on the straight-and-narrow for a good long while.

But changing Spider-Man's costume, that's like crack cocaine: a cheap, nasty high that lasts just a few minutes and results in long-term health problems. Everyone knows its a short-term thing. No one even pretends that any new Spider-Man costume is ever going to stick around. It's going to be a punchline in six months, if it isn't already. There really is no excuse: you can't even say it's about merchandising anymore, because really, there's not exactly a huge market for Scarlet Spider or Web-Armor Spider-Man action figures. No - the only gains to be had are an extremely short term blip in sales that results from morbid curiosity, and then the long, long hangover that results in having chipped away at a little more of the dignity that Stan Lee, Steve Ditko and John Romita originally gave the character.

It's a joke. Everyone seems to know it's a joke but the people actually responsible. Why is this? They don't seem to be particularly unintelligent. They are, each of them, perfectly capable of producing good work. And yet - somehow, they are pooling their resources with the stated goal of doing something that has already been done half a dozen times, doesn't work, has never worked, and only gets worse as the years go by. I wonder - I really, really do - how these decisions are made.

You may be asking yourself - what about the first time? The black costume was pretty cool. To which I will answer: yes, despite it's somewhat shifty origins in Secret Wars, the black costume was pretty cool. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it improved on the original (surely an impossible task), but it was damn striking, a minimal design meant for maximum visual impact. It was just plain cool. And then what? They turned the costume into Venom, which is the comics equivalent of using heroin with a dirty needle and contracting Hep-C. Your liver is scarred forever and your life expectancy is significantly shortened. Sucks, don't it?

So, yeah, it's just not a good idea. It's not too late, Marvel, you can still put down the pipe and retain some of your dignity. It's not as if I'm personally invested in the decision, but it makes me wonder why certain people are inexplicably drawn to jackass behavior, despite every rational impulse that should be popping into their heads. Listen to the voice of reason. Do it for the children.

Thank you.

Chris Sims buys himself another week of living by explaining to us just how creepy Terry Long was,

Ah, romance! Yes, friends, it's Febrary, the Month of Love. And what better way to celebrate the lead-up to Valentine's Day here on the ISB by pouring all of my bitterness into a few of the Worst Comics Relationships of All Time. And what better way to kick things off than with the creepeist Significant Other in the history of comics:

Terry Long


Terry, for those of you who don't know, managed to hook up with--and eventually marry--foxy young Amazon Donna Troy despite being a complete and utter creepy loser.

Sound a bit harsh? Let's take a look at the facts. According to his Who's Who entry, Terry is a divorced ex-college professor who was unable to gain tenure due to severe writer's block. As of November of 1988, he was working in a bookstore with plans to write a book on mythology.

Total. Loser.

Failed marriage, fired from his job for slacking off, and working retail with vague plans to become a writer. You know this guy. He shops at my store, and he's totally into Spawn. And yet, allow me to stress this one more time, he marries Donna Troy.

Apparently, the DC Universe has absolutely no concept of being "out of one's league."

Even more than that, though, the guy's just a creep. Every single comic I've read where he appears, he ends up awkwardly hitting on Starfire with a quiet "just puttin' it out there" sort of desperation, often while Donna's in the room. Stuff like: "Hey, Kory, you sure do fill out that swimsuit! Maybe the three of us could head out to the hot tub and start making out with each other--HA-HA, I'm just kidding (but not really)."

Three panels of that guy, and you'll never feel truly clean again. It's probably just his afro and porn-star beard, but throw in his sweaty come-ons to Starfire and he starts giving off a vibe that makes him seem like a pedophile. I'm sure it just comes from the fact that he's trying to fit in with Donna's cool friends, but the fact that he's a former professor and she appears in a book called Teen Titans sure doesn't help matters much.

And apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks so. The Who's Who Update in which Terry's creepy ass appears, features a wraparound cover by Ty Templeton depicting Ma and Pa Kent throwing a barbeque for all the DCU supporting characters. And who should be enjoying a hamburger out back but creepy-ass Terry himself. Have a look:



Even Maxwell Lord, who shot Blue Beetle in the head and made Superman hallucinate the murder of his own wife, is totally creeped out. That's a pose that says "Get the fuck away from me, you creepy little man." An appropriate and understandable reaction, considering that he's wearing a blue and yellow polka-dotted speedo and a longsleeve green polo shirt.

No wonder General Eiling looks like he's about to beat his ass on general principle.

Tug's pet theory about this little slice-of-life is that Max was so disturbed by this encounter that once he was the head of Checkmate, he arranged Terry's fatal "accident."

Donna Troy, what the hell were you thinking?

Thanks, folks, for providing me with so many great quotes! See you next week!

Read More

Anatomy of a bad comic book - Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

We try, here at the blog, to highlight the good in comics (hence the name). However, sometimes it's necessary to examine the bad, not to be snotty or snarky, but to understand why something is bad, not just that it is bad. Therefore, we can understand better why something is good. See how it all works? So, I want to take a look at the first six issues of Superman/Batman, conveniently collected in a trade paperback, and explain why it's not very good.

Some readers would say, "Well, it's written by Jeph Loeb, so of course it must be bad." But that's just like saying, "Frank Miller's Batman is a meanie, so that comic is bad." It's not good enough. Loeb isn't a great writer by any means, but he's not the worst writer in the world, either. He can certainly put a story together. But he falters a lot, too.

The trade begins with a two-page vignette that showed up in Superman/Batman Secret Files. I'm not going to discuss it, because it's too silly and relies too much on coincidence, even in a comic-book universe, which often relies on coincidence. The actual issues of Superman/Batman begin with four pages recapping our heroes' origins. I read it and got a bit of a sinking feeling. If you are reading this comic, you are a fanboy geek. You know every tiny detail about both these characters, and do not need their origins retold for the billionth time. Loeb is trying to set up the dichotomy between them and the fact that they share an unlikely friendship, but this is a place where comic book writers can rely on continuity and shorthand - anyone reading the book knows all of this already, and there's no point in wasting our time. It's kind of like doing character development in JLA - one of the reasons Morrison's run was so fun was because he didn't care about character development, as it was being done in the characters' core books. When Superman and Batman team up, character development is largely unnecessary beyond what occurs in the flow of the narrative, because we can turn to their own books if we want it.

So. Not a good start. The entire first issue and a good deal of the second is devoted to a MacGuffin - namely, Metallo and whether or not he had anything to do with the Waynes' murders. Superman fights him in Metropolis, he shows up in Gotham, Superman and Batman team up to beat on him a while, he shoots Superman with a Kryptonite bullet, the heroes flee to the Batcave, where Bruce fixes Clark up nice. This entire sequence is very tangential to the main plot, yet Loeb allows us to think it's much more important than it is. There's nothing wrong with misdirection, but a 20-some pages devoted to it gets annoying. He ties it in at the end, but it feels tacked on and remains inconsequential. The only reason for it, as far as I can tell, is to get Superman and Batman to hook up in Gotham so that when Luthor declares Superman Public Enemy #1, he can team up with Batman. There had to be a better way to get them together than the long, ultimately dead-end plot with Metallo. I don't mind the use of Metallo, just the quasi-importance placed upon him and the length of the plot. Yes, it's all about writing for the trade, and this story had to be six issues long, so the Metallo plot, which could have taken up half of the first issue, was stretched to an issue and change.

The main plot involves a Kryptonite asteroid headed for Earth that will destroy all life on the planet. This is when Loeb starts to strain our suspension of disbelief even more. I can handle the fact that an asteroid made of Superman's planet happens to be heading directly for the planet on which he landed, although the odds are so overwhelmingly against it that my head spins. Like I said, it's a comic book, and coincidences are what make comics fun. However, President Luthor goes on television and offers a billion-dollar reward for anyone bringing Superman into custody. Why? Because, he says, the asteroid is heading to Earth because of Superman. He offers no proof of this. He doesn't say that Superman pushed the asteroid toward the Earth. He doesn't even say that the asteroid is somehow sentient and is coming to kill Superman. He is saying that if you live in Florida and a hurricane is heading your way, we need to arrest you because you're responsible for all the death it's going to cause.

I'm not joking. I wish I were. Now, by the end of the book Loeb has pretty much established that Luthor has gone completely 'round the bend. Fine. However, nobody challenges him on this. Amanda Waller doesn't challenge him on this. The Waller I remember didn't necessarily like superheroes, but she wasn't the sniveling little sycophant who stands there and doesn't object when Luthor kisses her on the mouth instead of bashing his head in. Captain Atom and the rest of the superheroes Luthor sends after Superman don't object. Lois Lane objects, but she does so rather timidly. The general public doesn't object. Surprisingly, the general public is completely absent from this book. There's the government, the villains who try to stop Superman and collect a billion dollars, Superman and Batman, and the press (Lois). There's no page of various talking heads (the standard cliché in comics to show "the man on the street") expressing their opinions about Luthor's declaration. This is a bit surprising, because in The Challengers of the Unknown, a comic I strongly recommend, Loeb goes out of his way to show how a smear campaign against the Challengers plays to the general public. I can't imagine anyone in the United States buying Luthor's statement. Most people in the U.S. are distrustful of a) government; b) big business. Luthor represents both those camps. Perhaps Loeb is making a subtle statement on the press and the public's attitude toward President Bush in the lead-up to the Iraq war, and how no one questioned the intelligence. Maybe. If he is, he needs to stay out of social commentary, especially on this book, which is not the place for it. Anyway, not challenging the president on the war, with its many different viewpoints and murky gray areas, is a lot different than the president coming on television and saying America's greatest hero is a going to kill us all. Even Barry Bonds, who by all accounts is a huge jerk and may be a huge cheater, has a great number of fans and defenders. Superman, who has very publicly saved the world more times than people can count, would gain huge public support, and unless Luthor came up with some iron-clad proof of his claims (he never does), his scheme would be stillborn.

So Superman and Batman have a plan to stop the asteroid. Yay! Captain Atom leads a bunch of second-rate heroes to bring them to justice, and Supes and Bats steal Power Girl and Katana away to help them implement their plan. Fine and dandy. We never figure out, however, how they convinced them to switch sides. Katana, at least, says she's loyal to Japan and wants to save it, but that's kind of weak. These two just go with our heroes and trust them, even though a few minutes earlier they were fighting them and trying to arrest them. All of the other government heroes, Major Force excepted (and he's a jerk anyway), eventually kind of back down. This is poorly done because there's no reason for them to fight Superman and Batman in the first place, except that Luthor ordered them to. If they're heroes, they're going to be more inclined to help Superman and Batman, especially because one would think they've been privy to Luthor's evil-doing in the past, and just because he's president doesn't mean he's not still evil. Again, logic is thrown out the window for short-term drama, but there is no drama because we can't believe these heroes would try to arrest Supes and Bats. When they do switch, it makes more sense from the viewpoint of that's what their characters would do, but it doesn't make sense from a story point of view, because Loeb doesn't have any of them say, "Hey, wait a minute - this is Superman and Batman! Why aren't we helping them?" Then the JSA gets involved, with tortured logic that Luthor will turn against all the superheroes if they don't help bring in Superman and Batman. Yeah, that's a good reason to turn against them. Sigh. Captain Marvel and Hawkman "supposedly" bring in Superman and Batman, but there is a lot of table-turning, and it shakes out that Supes and Bats impersonate Marvel and Hawkman to get into the White House. Superman confronts Luthor, and this pushes the president over the edge to the point where he decides to put on his funky green-and-purple armor and kick some Kryptonian ass on his own! Whoo-hoo!

The final issue is the fight between Superman and Luthor and the final fate of the asteroid. Earlier on, a future Superman arrived in the Batcave and tried to convince the heroes that the course of action they would take would be wrong. Now, again, you could argue that this Superman, who because of what he did saw the entire world die (he failed somehow to stop the asteroid), is a bit unhinged. So he simply tries to kill Superman and Batman instead of explaining himself. Maybe. But the fact that he attacks them instead of saying "Hey, wait a minute - I just want to tell Superman that he can't fly the rocket!" (we'll get to the rocket) is just dumb, but it's necessary for Loeb to keep the dramatic tension afloat. But he's keeping it afloat artificially, and that's no good. Later, Captain Atom gets transported into the future, where he has a chat with Superman. They have a reasonable conversation, which allows Captain Atom to understand what needs to be done. No fisticuffs! If the future Superman had been so reasonable earlier, the whole story would have fallen apart. Again, illogical.

Anyway, Superman and Batman have drafted the Toyman to help them. I know nothing about this Toyman, who's a teenager, but I will say that the solution to the problem is so unbelievably stupid I almost had a stroke. Apparently, in less than a week (actually, the entire six issues appears to take place in about a day, but I'll be generous and call it a week), Toyman has built a "composite Superman/Batman rocket ship!" It's made of Metallo, the only alloy strong enough to get close to the asteroid, and it has fists, so whoever pilots it will simply ... punch the asteroid. So that it blows up.

Yes, you're reading correctly. Now, ignoring the fact that it's quite possibly the dumbest idea to stop an asteroid since Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck starred in an idiotic movie about an asteroid, the Toyman built this in a week? Using Bruce Wayne's money? When did Batman even have a chance to set it up? As I mentioned, from the way the story is structured, it appears we have been following our heroes the entire way. At no time does Batman say, "Let me call Lucius Fox real quick ..." At least then we could believe he set it up. Loeb hides this from us, but he doesn't even give himself an out, something he could point to and say, "Right here is when they made their plans." The only time, possibly, is between issues #2 and 3, because Luthor makes his statement during the day and Supes and Bats begin their assault on the White House at night. However, Loeb never says, "We made some plans ..." or anything like that. It's just sloppy storytelling. And it appears that their grand plan would take a little longer than an afternoon to pull together.

Captain Atom comes back from the future and pilots the spaceship. He knocks out Clark with Batman's Kryptonite ring and takes his place. The future Superman told him that if he, Superman, piloted the craft, everyone dies, so Captain Atom does the right thing and takes his place. Superman goes and has a nice beat-down with Luthor, who reveals his insanity to the world and loses his presidency in the process. Batman informs Luthor that Bruce Wayne has bought up all his assets, and Luthor has not only lost the presidency, but all his money. Then Luthor disappears. Captain Atom, meanwhile, smashes into the asteroid and destroys it. He has come back to life (if he ever technically "died") but no one makes any mention of his sacrifice. It's weird. Pete Ross becomes president. I'm sure when he was made vice-president some writer explained how he became VP in the first place, but Pete Ross as VP or prez makes no sense. Amanda Waller is imprisoned. I'm not sure why. Luthor shows up at the very end, down in the sewer somewhere, muttering about a "crisis." This is actually a nice touch, and shows again that DC did have this whole Crisis thing brewing for years before unleashing it on us. I don't like it, but I admire their foresight. Unless it's just Loeb fucking with us. Maybe.

It's a shame that this is a bad book. It could be a lively superhero slugfest, but Loeb drops the ball on seemingly simplistic things. The logic is flawed, the characters don't act like they should, and the premise is ultimately stupid. And this is often DC's #1-selling book. What does that say about us, the comic-buying public? I don't know. I just don't know.

Read More