Anatomy of a bad comic book - Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

We try, here at the blog, to highlight the good in comics (hence the name). However, sometimes it's necessary to examine the bad, not to be snotty or snarky, but to understand why something is bad, not just that it is bad. Therefore, we can understand better why something is good. See how it all works? So, I want to take a look at the first six issues of Superman/Batman, conveniently collected in a trade paperback, and explain why it's not very good.

Some readers would say, "Well, it's written by Jeph Loeb, so of course it must be bad." But that's just like saying, "Frank Miller's Batman is a meanie, so that comic is bad." It's not good enough. Loeb isn't a great writer by any means, but he's not the worst writer in the world, either. He can certainly put a story together. But he falters a lot, too.

The trade begins with a two-page vignette that showed up in Superman/Batman Secret Files. I'm not going to discuss it, because it's too silly and relies too much on coincidence, even in a comic-book universe, which often relies on coincidence. The actual issues of Superman/Batman begin with four pages recapping our heroes' origins. I read it and got a bit of a sinking feeling. If you are reading this comic, you are a fanboy geek. You know every tiny detail about both these characters, and do not need their origins retold for the billionth time. Loeb is trying to set up the dichotomy between them and the fact that they share an unlikely friendship, but this is a place where comic book writers can rely on continuity and shorthand - anyone reading the book knows all of this already, and there's no point in wasting our time. It's kind of like doing character development in JLA - one of the reasons Morrison's run was so fun was because he didn't care about character development, as it was being done in the characters' core books. When Superman and Batman team up, character development is largely unnecessary beyond what occurs in the flow of the narrative, because we can turn to their own books if we want it.

So. Not a good start. The entire first issue and a good deal of the second is devoted to a MacGuffin - namely, Metallo and whether or not he had anything to do with the Waynes' murders. Superman fights him in Metropolis, he shows up in Gotham, Superman and Batman team up to beat on him a while, he shoots Superman with a Kryptonite bullet, the heroes flee to the Batcave, where Bruce fixes Clark up nice. This entire sequence is very tangential to the main plot, yet Loeb allows us to think it's much more important than it is. There's nothing wrong with misdirection, but a 20-some pages devoted to it gets annoying. He ties it in at the end, but it feels tacked on and remains inconsequential. The only reason for it, as far as I can tell, is to get Superman and Batman to hook up in Gotham so that when Luthor declares Superman Public Enemy #1, he can team up with Batman. There had to be a better way to get them together than the long, ultimately dead-end plot with Metallo. I don't mind the use of Metallo, just the quasi-importance placed upon him and the length of the plot. Yes, it's all about writing for the trade, and this story had to be six issues long, so the Metallo plot, which could have taken up half of the first issue, was stretched to an issue and change.

The main plot involves a Kryptonite asteroid headed for Earth that will destroy all life on the planet. This is when Loeb starts to strain our suspension of disbelief even more. I can handle the fact that an asteroid made of Superman's planet happens to be heading directly for the planet on which he landed, although the odds are so overwhelmingly against it that my head spins. Like I said, it's a comic book, and coincidences are what make comics fun. However, President Luthor goes on television and offers a billion-dollar reward for anyone bringing Superman into custody. Why? Because, he says, the asteroid is heading to Earth because of Superman. He offers no proof of this. He doesn't say that Superman pushed the asteroid toward the Earth. He doesn't even say that the asteroid is somehow sentient and is coming to kill Superman. He is saying that if you live in Florida and a hurricane is heading your way, we need to arrest you because you're responsible for all the death it's going to cause.

I'm not joking. I wish I were. Now, by the end of the book Loeb has pretty much established that Luthor has gone completely 'round the bend. Fine. However, nobody challenges him on this. Amanda Waller doesn't challenge him on this. The Waller I remember didn't necessarily like superheroes, but she wasn't the sniveling little sycophant who stands there and doesn't object when Luthor kisses her on the mouth instead of bashing his head in. Captain Atom and the rest of the superheroes Luthor sends after Superman don't object. Lois Lane objects, but she does so rather timidly. The general public doesn't object. Surprisingly, the general public is completely absent from this book. There's the government, the villains who try to stop Superman and collect a billion dollars, Superman and Batman, and the press (Lois). There's no page of various talking heads (the standard cliché in comics to show "the man on the street") expressing their opinions about Luthor's declaration. This is a bit surprising, because in The Challengers of the Unknown, a comic I strongly recommend, Loeb goes out of his way to show how a smear campaign against the Challengers plays to the general public. I can't imagine anyone in the United States buying Luthor's statement. Most people in the U.S. are distrustful of a) government; b) big business. Luthor represents both those camps. Perhaps Loeb is making a subtle statement on the press and the public's attitude toward President Bush in the lead-up to the Iraq war, and how no one questioned the intelligence. Maybe. If he is, he needs to stay out of social commentary, especially on this book, which is not the place for it. Anyway, not challenging the president on the war, with its many different viewpoints and murky gray areas, is a lot different than the president coming on television and saying America's greatest hero is a going to kill us all. Even Barry Bonds, who by all accounts is a huge jerk and may be a huge cheater, has a great number of fans and defenders. Superman, who has very publicly saved the world more times than people can count, would gain huge public support, and unless Luthor came up with some iron-clad proof of his claims (he never does), his scheme would be stillborn.

So Superman and Batman have a plan to stop the asteroid. Yay! Captain Atom leads a bunch of second-rate heroes to bring them to justice, and Supes and Bats steal Power Girl and Katana away to help them implement their plan. Fine and dandy. We never figure out, however, how they convinced them to switch sides. Katana, at least, says she's loyal to Japan and wants to save it, but that's kind of weak. These two just go with our heroes and trust them, even though a few minutes earlier they were fighting them and trying to arrest them. All of the other government heroes, Major Force excepted (and he's a jerk anyway), eventually kind of back down. This is poorly done because there's no reason for them to fight Superman and Batman in the first place, except that Luthor ordered them to. If they're heroes, they're going to be more inclined to help Superman and Batman, especially because one would think they've been privy to Luthor's evil-doing in the past, and just because he's president doesn't mean he's not still evil. Again, logic is thrown out the window for short-term drama, but there is no drama because we can't believe these heroes would try to arrest Supes and Bats. When they do switch, it makes more sense from the viewpoint of that's what their characters would do, but it doesn't make sense from a story point of view, because Loeb doesn't have any of them say, "Hey, wait a minute - this is Superman and Batman! Why aren't we helping them?" Then the JSA gets involved, with tortured logic that Luthor will turn against all the superheroes if they don't help bring in Superman and Batman. Yeah, that's a good reason to turn against them. Sigh. Captain Marvel and Hawkman "supposedly" bring in Superman and Batman, but there is a lot of table-turning, and it shakes out that Supes and Bats impersonate Marvel and Hawkman to get into the White House. Superman confronts Luthor, and this pushes the president over the edge to the point where he decides to put on his funky green-and-purple armor and kick some Kryptonian ass on his own! Whoo-hoo!

The final issue is the fight between Superman and Luthor and the final fate of the asteroid. Earlier on, a future Superman arrived in the Batcave and tried to convince the heroes that the course of action they would take would be wrong. Now, again, you could argue that this Superman, who because of what he did saw the entire world die (he failed somehow to stop the asteroid), is a bit unhinged. So he simply tries to kill Superman and Batman instead of explaining himself. Maybe. But the fact that he attacks them instead of saying "Hey, wait a minute - I just want to tell Superman that he can't fly the rocket!" (we'll get to the rocket) is just dumb, but it's necessary for Loeb to keep the dramatic tension afloat. But he's keeping it afloat artificially, and that's no good. Later, Captain Atom gets transported into the future, where he has a chat with Superman. They have a reasonable conversation, which allows Captain Atom to understand what needs to be done. No fisticuffs! If the future Superman had been so reasonable earlier, the whole story would have fallen apart. Again, illogical.

Anyway, Superman and Batman have drafted the Toyman to help them. I know nothing about this Toyman, who's a teenager, but I will say that the solution to the problem is so unbelievably stupid I almost had a stroke. Apparently, in less than a week (actually, the entire six issues appears to take place in about a day, but I'll be generous and call it a week), Toyman has built a "composite Superman/Batman rocket ship!" It's made of Metallo, the only alloy strong enough to get close to the asteroid, and it has fists, so whoever pilots it will simply ... punch the asteroid. So that it blows up.

Yes, you're reading correctly. Now, ignoring the fact that it's quite possibly the dumbest idea to stop an asteroid since Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck starred in an idiotic movie about an asteroid, the Toyman built this in a week? Using Bruce Wayne's money? When did Batman even have a chance to set it up? As I mentioned, from the way the story is structured, it appears we have been following our heroes the entire way. At no time does Batman say, "Let me call Lucius Fox real quick ..." At least then we could believe he set it up. Loeb hides this from us, but he doesn't even give himself an out, something he could point to and say, "Right here is when they made their plans." The only time, possibly, is between issues #2 and 3, because Luthor makes his statement during the day and Supes and Bats begin their assault on the White House at night. However, Loeb never says, "We made some plans ..." or anything like that. It's just sloppy storytelling. And it appears that their grand plan would take a little longer than an afternoon to pull together.

Captain Atom comes back from the future and pilots the spaceship. He knocks out Clark with Batman's Kryptonite ring and takes his place. The future Superman told him that if he, Superman, piloted the craft, everyone dies, so Captain Atom does the right thing and takes his place. Superman goes and has a nice beat-down with Luthor, who reveals his insanity to the world and loses his presidency in the process. Batman informs Luthor that Bruce Wayne has bought up all his assets, and Luthor has not only lost the presidency, but all his money. Then Luthor disappears. Captain Atom, meanwhile, smashes into the asteroid and destroys it. He has come back to life (if he ever technically "died") but no one makes any mention of his sacrifice. It's weird. Pete Ross becomes president. I'm sure when he was made vice-president some writer explained how he became VP in the first place, but Pete Ross as VP or prez makes no sense. Amanda Waller is imprisoned. I'm not sure why. Luthor shows up at the very end, down in the sewer somewhere, muttering about a "crisis." This is actually a nice touch, and shows again that DC did have this whole Crisis thing brewing for years before unleashing it on us. I don't like it, but I admire their foresight. Unless it's just Loeb fucking with us. Maybe.

It's a shame that this is a bad book. It could be a lively superhero slugfest, but Loeb drops the ball on seemingly simplistic things. The logic is flawed, the characters don't act like they should, and the premise is ultimately stupid. And this is often DC's #1-selling book. What does that say about us, the comic-buying public? I don't know. I just don't know.

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