"I Really Liked Mark Waid's Flash"

Have you ever heard that phrase?

I know I have.

It has come to mean, in comic criticism, that you are about to knock a work by Mark Waid, but want to demonstrate that it is not anything personal, and you HAVE liked his work in the past.

So, I thought it would be nice to demonstate my displeasure with Waid's Legion of Superheroes (particularly the latest issue, as I have found it emblematic of the run so far) by going over again what I liked so much about Mark Waid's Flash, to see what I think is missing in his Legion of Superheroes.

Here's what I have come up with...

It was fun.

Remember when Mark Waid was known as "the funny guy"?

No, seriously, it actually happened.

No, really, you have to believe me.

Really, there WAS a time when he was known for his humor!

REALLY!

Why won't you believe me?!?!

The weird thing is that I am sure he is just as funny NOW as he was THEN, but it just is not reflected in his work (except for perhaps that Spider-Man story in Fantastic Four).

It WAS reflected in his Flash.

The Flash was not Ambush Bug, but it often had lighthearted jokes in it (and Waid's work on the spin-off Impulse, was hilarious).

Now, a joke in a Waid comic book (like the goat joke in Legion) is a cause for a celebration.

He is not a super serious guy, so why is his work so super serious?

Legion of Superheroes...this is not a happy book.

The characters were likable.

Leion of Superheroes is filled with characters.

I just cannot see very many LIKABLE characters in the book.

Waid's Flash?

Filled with them.

Wally, Linda, Jay Garrick, Bart, Johnny Quick, Max Mercury...these characters were fun to read.

How is it fun to watch superheroes act like assholes in Legion of Superheroes?

It is almost like Waid is saying, "Hey, I know a way to make this revamp different, how about everyone is an asshole! THAT'S never been done before!!!"

It was about a superhero.

A superhero comic about a superhero.

Novel concept, eh?

Legion of Superheroes, with superheroes IN THE TITLE, really is not about superheroes. It is about politics.

In Legion, these are characters that the fans dig, and instead of giving us issues like most of #7 all the time, he has decided on giving us stuff like #8, this angry, loathsome issue, where EVERYone in the issue is a jerk in one way or another.

If you want to do this sort of book, go right ahead.

But no with people with names like Cosmic Boy and Ultra Boy and Saturn Girl.

They are superheroes.

Try letting them be superheroes.

Flash was a superhero, and Waid HAD him be a superhero.

It worked out well, I thought.

Flash was an optimistic book.

About two years into his run on Flash, Waid introduced a storyline where the Flash is in trouble after a woman is injured during a superhero battle. The idea of the story was to play off the optimistic nature of the Flash by seeing how he can handle something so cynical.

Well, in Legion of Superheroes, I do not know how the characters could HANDLE an optimistic event!

They would probably yell at it.

It would be like that Simpsons scene..."I bring you...peace" "He brings us peace. Break his legs!!"

Okay, so so far what I have is that what I like about Waid's writing is when he writes likable, fun, optimistic superhero stories.

Is that really too much to expect from a book called Legion of Superheroes?

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Infinite Ass

Just read the mini-preview of Infinite Crisis #1.

Yikes.

Spoilers ahead!

First off, it is bizarre to me that there ARE this many spoilers ahead. I mean, the book is coming out in OCTOBER, yet in the five/six page preview, they spoil a good deal of stuff.

For instance, at one point or another, the JLA Watchtower will be destroyed. Which already happened during Morrison's watch, right?

But whatever, it is a fine plot point, just not one I think should be spoiled this early.

Next, the Freedom Fighters show up to investigate a rumored Society appearance (The Freedom Fighters being Uncle Sam, Phantom Lady, Black Condor, Damage and the Human Bomb).

Why bother?

I mean, we have read the formula already, Johns.

We know what it means when you have B-List characters show up out of nowhere.

It means they (or at least a good portion of them) are going to die.

So why bother?

It is like there is this undying need to follow convention.

Like before Identity Crisis, we all knew the formulaic result was Sue Dibney dying.

Before Countdown, we knew Blue Beetle was dead.

Before Sacrifice turned out to be an OMAC tie-in, we all knew it was going to end with Wonder Woman killing the bad guy (at the time, we all thought it was Ruin, but as soon as we learned that Sacrifice was an OMAC tie-in, we knew it was Max Lord she was going to kill).

Heck, this formula was tired when Giffen and Fleming used it with Starman during Eclipso: The Darkness Within....THIRTEEN YEARS AGO!

Maybe if there was not this sense of "we SHOCKED you," it would not be so annoying. I mean, I wasn't irked by the fact that I knew that the six heroes were going to die in Seven Soldiers #0, because Morrison was playing along with conventions, not acting as though he was defying them.

Oh, that and the fact that he invented all but one of the heroes he killed off, so that when he chose to kill them off, he was getting his emotional kick out of characters HE created.

Which is far different than killing off Sue Dibney, Blue Beetle and, in the pages of Infinite Crisis (so far), Black Condor.

The only people who care that you killed off Black Condor are the same ones who are going to be disappointed that you killed him off to add drama to your "epic."

It seems so silly.

Oh, and having BIZARRO be a part of the group of villains who murder Condor (and possibly other members of the Freedom Fighters)?

Nice.

Good use of a lighthearted character.

Next thing you know, they'll start having lighthearted characters raped or shot in the head in the books.

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With My Speaw and Magic Hewww-met!

Let’s go back a few years, to a graphic novel now nearly forgotten. Back…back…back to the wild days of 1990.

Gods. Dragons. Cursed hoards of gold. Love. Betrayal. A hero's broken sword reforged. A ring of unimaginable power. The end of the world. And some really, really loud music.

Yes, it's Richard Wagner’s The Ring of the Nibelung, a four-opera cycle about the Teutonic gods and heroes, forever immortalized in the Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd epic “What’s Opera, Doc?”

FUDD: Ohhh, Bwuuun-hiwwda, you’we so wuvvwy…

BUNNY (in drag): Yes I knooooow it, I can’t heeeelp it…

Gil Kane and Roy Thomas adapted the story of the Ring into a four-issue miniseries for DC Comics fifteen years ago. Which, on the face of it, sounds like a monumentally bad idea. Even as a dedicated fan of the medium, it struck me as dumb, at best. “Yeah, let’s adapt a sixteen hour opera cycle, an acknowledged masterpiece of art, into a freakin’ comic book…yeah…”

How could it possibly work? Isn't that impossible?

Silly me, I forgot. We’re dealing with Wagner.

Turns out the Ring adapts to comic form quite well. Huge, sweeping visuals and emotions? Simplistic characters? A whole lotta noise? The Ring Cycle, to borrow a term from baseball, falls right into comics’ wheelhouse. Against expectations, the collected edition of the Ring of the Nibelung succeeds as a worthy book.

FUDD: North winds bwow! South winds bwow! Typhoons! Hurricanes! Earthquakes! SMOG!

Wagner fused several Teutonic and Scandinavian myths to create the story. The short form: a dwarf, Albricht, is teased by three “Rhine Maidens,” spirits of the river who guard a hoard of cursed gold. Enraged, the dwarf steals the gold and fashions a magic ring and helmet, and threatens to conquer the world. Meanwhile, the gods get into trouble with the giants and swipe Albricht’s hoard to calm down the giants. The embittered dwarf curses the gold and the ring.

The father of the gods, Wotan, fears that the ring will be used against him. However, he swore an oath not to take it back, an oath he could not break. Thus begins the tale of our mortal heroes. The hero Siegfried, a descendant of Wotan, is indirectly guided by the god towards the ring. By slaying a dragon, Siegfried recovers the cursed ring, keeping it from Wotan's enemies. Shortly thereafter comes adventure, betrayal, love, betrayal, magic, betrayal, and the end of the gods.

So yeah, it’s a busy tale.

FUDD: Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!!

Roy Thomas’s scripting is decent. According to the opera folks who wrote the forward to the collected edition, the dialogue matches Wagner’s music. My experience with opera is limited (a polite way of saying “I ain’t never been ta one”), so I can’t judge his fidelity to the score. As comic book prose, it’s serviceable. He lapsed into faux-literary prose quite a bit, which he did not do well. However, Thomas did manage to adapt a scattered story into a semi-coherent narrative. How much of that is Thomas and how much is Wagner, I couldn’t say.

Gil Kane’s art? Kane was one of the true greats of the field. A giant. And he’s the best part of the comic. The art is beautiful, dynamic, and clear. Considering the difficulty of condensing the story, that’s remarkable. (I wouldn’t have dressed the gods in Boris Vallejo-meets-Flash Gordon costumes, but hey, I can see why he did it.)

Why dig this up, fifteen years after its publication? Why review it now?

Because dang it, Gil Kane is always relevant.

(P. Craig Russell also adapted the opera cycle into a graphic novel. If’n I get my hands on it, I’ll write a comparison between it and this one.)

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Do you too want to write and draw good comics?

I was going to post this a while ago, but kept forgetting. Now is as good a time as any, I suppose.

About a month ago, DC Conspiracy had a post about submissions guidelines. The whole post is here, but I thought I'd steal the links to the guidelines and post them here. That way, if you have an excellent comic book story that NEEDS TO BE TOLD, you can submit it. Then we here can rip it to shreds. It's the circle of life, people!

Marvel

DC/Vertigo/Wildstorm

Image

Dark Horse

Oni - don't go there. Apparently they're chock full of good stuff and will shred your submission (or use it in dark and mysterious ways - either way, it ain't getting through).

Top Shelf

AiT/Planet Lar

Tokyo Pop

Antarctic

Speakeasy

Avatar

IDW

See how I want you all to make good comics? See how my own mediocre talents are only geared toward tearing down what others create? See how I want more creating so I will have a purpose in life? Get to work!

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Comic Book Urban Legends Revealed #9!

This is the ninth in a series of examinations of comic book urban legends and whether they are true or false. The first one can be found here, the second can be found here, the third can be found here, the fourth can be found here, the fifth can be found here, the sixth can be found here the seventh can be found here,
and the eighth can be found here

Let's begin!

COMIC URBAN LEGEND: Marvel and DC own the trademark of the word "Super Hero."

STATUS: True

Reader Jason asked a question about a Captain America T-Shirt that he had that had a DC copyright on it.

It is likely that Jason's T-Shirt was, in fact, an error.

However, it did remind me of something that DC and Marvel DO share, and that is a trademark on the word "Super Hero."

Here is a copy of the accepted US federal trademark...

Word Mark SUPER HEROES
Goods and Services IC 016. US 002 005 022 023 029 037 038 050. G & S: PUBLICATIONS, PARTICULARLY COMIC BOOKS AND MAGAZINES AND STORIES IN ILLUSTRATED FORM [(( ; CARDBOARD STAND-UP FIGURES; PLAYING CARDS; PAPER IRON-ON TRANSFER; ERASERS; PENCIL SHARPENERS; PENCILS; GLUE FOR OFFICE AND HOME USE, SUCH AS IS SOLD AS STATIONERY SUPPLY;] NOTEBOOKS AND STAMP ALBUMS )). FIRST USE: 19661000. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19661000
Mark Drawing Code (1) TYPED DRAWING
Serial Number 73222079
Filing Date July 3, 1979
Current Filing Basis 1A
Original Filing Basis 1A
Published for Opposition June 9, 1981
Registration Number 1179067
Registration Date November 24, 1981
Owner (REGISTRANT) Cadence Industries Corporation a.k.a. Marvel Comics Group and DC Comics Inc. CORPORATION DELAWARE 575 Madison Ave. New York NEW YORK 10022
(LAST LISTED OWNER) DC COMICS PARTNERSHIP BY ASSIGNMENT NEW YORK 1700 BROADWAY NEW YORK NEW YORK 10019

(LAST LISTED OWNER) MARVEL CHARACTERS, INC. CORPORATION BY ASSIGNMENT DELAWARE 10474 SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD SUITE 206 LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA 90025

Assignment Recorded ASSIGNMENT RECORDED
Attorney of Record JONATHAN D. REICHMAN
Type of Mark TRADEMARK
Register PRINCIPAL
Affidavit Text SECT 15. SECT 8 (6-YR). SECTION 8(10-YR) 20020819.
Renewal 1ST RENEWAL 20020819
Live/Dead Indicator LIVE

DC and Marvel have, since 1981, owned a trademark of the phrase "Super Hero," in regards to publications, toys, costumes and the like.

Todd VerBeek had an interesting column on the topic a year or so ago here.

I thought about this when I was wondering whether Jason's T-Shirt mentioned the phrase "Super Hero," in which case it could have had a trademark on it mentioning both Marvel and DC.

COMIC URBAN LEGEND: DG Chichester left Daredevil with #332.

STATUS: False

Writer DG Chichester followed Ann Nocenti on Daredevil, and had an interesting run.

He brought the character back to his New York City roots, and his Last Rites storyline with artist Lee Weeks was pretty good.

Later on, working with artist Scott McDaniel, Chichester made the controversial move of both A. Bringing Elektra back from the dead and B. "Killing off" Matt Murdock and giving Daredevil a new armored costume and a new secret identity, Jack Batlin.

With issue #332, Chichester took a break from the book, and writer Gregory Wright did a fill-in arc for the next five issues. Chichester was to return after the arc.

However, the name DG Chichester would not appear in the credits of Daredevil again until the very last issue of Daredevil Volume 1 (#380).

What happened?

Well, during the fill-in arc (late 1994), Marvel had an in-company shake-up. Tom DeFalco was removed as Editor-in-Chief, and instead of naming a successor, Marvel named five separate "Editor-in-Chiefs," each of whom was given a certain amount of titles to be in charge of.

Bob Harras kept the X-Men book, Mark Gruenwald got Marvel Heroes, Bob Budiansky got Spider-Man, Carl Potts got the Licensed Books and Alternaverse books (books that fell in the cracks), and Bobbie Chase got "Marvel Edge."

"Marvel Edge" was basically throwing together all of Marvel's "edgier" titles, like Hulk, Punisher, Ghost Rider, and yes, Daredevil.

Not much of a theme between the bunch, but that was what Marvel said must be.

Well, Bobbie Chase did not want DG Chichester to write Daredevil (for whatever reason), so she went out and got a new writer.

The thing is, Chichester was already working on his upcoming issues, and Chase did not want him to know that after those issues were done, a new writer would be taking over.

Someone secretly let Chichester in on this, and as a protest, he insisted that his name be taken off these remaining issues.

That is why Daredevil #338-342 are credited not to DG Chichester, but to Alan Smithee (the infamous pseudonym that directors use when they want to distance themselves from a project that they did not like...Chichester went to film school, dontcha know).

COMIC URBAN LEGEND: Christopher Priest killed off a character in a comic because of ownership rights.

STATUS: True

In the pages of Justice League Task Force, writer Christopher Priest introduced a new hero, an asian teenager who disguised herself as a male hero named Mystek. Awhile after joining the team, while on a mission in space, Mystek was tragically lost out of the spaceship and died.

That was the last that anyone spoke of Mystek.

Why such an ignominous fate?

Well, as it turns out, Priest had created Mystek, and was in the process of selling Mystek to DC as a creator-owned character to star in her own mini-series. He was told to put her in Justice League Task Force to get people interested in her.

Well, the deal fell through.

At that point, DC did not own the character, but they were (in a way) making money off the character.

You can understand how this would not be a good thing for Priest, so off she went.

It was too bad, too, because she was a good character.

Read here for Priest's take on it.

Well, that's it for me this week!

Feel free to tell me some urban legends you have heard, and I will try to confirm or deny them!

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What I bought - 27 July 2005

Hey. I have comics over here. Don't be afraid ...

Astro City: The Dark Age #2 by Kurt Busiek and Brent Anderson
$2.99, DC/Wildstorm

I happen to like Astro City, although I'm sure there are people who don't. It has a thing going on, though, that I'm going to examine in today's purchases. That theme is: continuity and building a story.

Ah, the dreaded continuity. The thing about Astro City is that it's Busiek (and, to a certain degree, Anderson's) baby, and so therefore, he knows everything about it. This can be daunting to people who are just trying to get into it, since there's something like 35 issues of back story (and pretty dense back story at that) to consider, but Busiek is such a good writer that you only notice his working with continuity if you actually have read the previous issues. If you haven't, it doesn't matter. Busiek's epic has been building to this point, and unlike another epic, Rising Stars, it is focused on telling the story through its characters, something JMS's story got away from a little during its long hiatus. Busiek packs this issue with exposition as well as action, something he's quite good at, and as a long-time reader, I appreciate stuff like the invasion of Tyranos Rex, even though a new reader won't and more importantly, won't need to.

Anyway, the saga of Royal and Charles takes a dark turn, as the Blue Knight shows up and kills people. A mystery about their childhood is revealed, but it just leads to more mysteries. Busiek knows how to build a story and keep us wanting more. That's why this is a cool book.

Batman: Dark Detective #6 by Steve Englehart, Marshall Rogers, and Terry Austin
$2.99, DC

Remember that Seinfeld episode in which George looks like that guy Neil who somehow managed to get a gorgeous girl? And then George manages to get the girl until the end, when Neil gets horribly scalded at the crepe restaurant by a poorly-rolled crepe and the girl dumps George to nurse Neil back to health? Englehart must have seen that one too.

And Batman pimps out Silver! Go Bruce!

Okay, this wasn't awful. But it wasn't that good, either. It was six issues that could have been three, tops. It featured a devilish Joker house that might have been cool if we hadn't spent so much time getting to it. It had cool sound effects. It had thought balloons. Ultimately, though, it was a disappointment. If you don't have the comics from the 1970s that these gentlemen collaborated on, trust me - they're MUCH better than this. Seriously.

Beowulf #3 by Brian Augustyn and Dub
$2.99, Speakeasy

Speakeasy is taking over independent comics, aren't they? Wild.

You know what? Every once in a while big-ass fight scenes are what you need, and that's pretty much what we get here. Some dragon (the Wyrm! the Wyrm!) shows up in the New York subway system (actually, it's transported there by an evil woman - crazy dames!) and Beowulf goes and fights it. Okay, there are a few scenes with the superpowered girl from last issue, and Nicole Conrad finds out about Beowulf, but basically, it's Beowulf fighting a big-ass dragon. And that's cool.

I don't know what's going on with this series, since both writer and artist have been kicked off (or quit), but it's pretty good, and when you have guys with swords stabbing dragons in the heart, you just have to say ... groovy.

Catwoman #45 by Will Pfeifer and Pete Woods
$2.50, DC

Another instance of building a story nicely. We get a little more information than we got last issue, and although we're in the middle of a story arc and therefore have the obligatory "cliff-hanger" ending, enough happens in this issue to keep us interested. I still think Hush is incredibly stupid, but it's not a bad use of him. The art continues to dazzle. The biggest problem I have with it is the ending - does Hush really think that Batman will ignore the East End once all those supervillains hit the scene? It seems a bit of a stretch. Maybe he will - I don't know. After two issues, I like what I see from this creative team.

Gødland #1 by Joe Casey and Tom Scioli
$2.99, Image

Ooh, it's a Kirby comic! What a rip-off!

Go screw, all you people. Did anyone complain when Ken Steacy ripped off Kirby for that issue of Doom Patrol? Did anyone complain when Morrison stole the whole story? No. If you're going to rip anyone off, why the hell not Kirby? And if you're going to complain about comics not being fun anymore, then why the hell are you not buying this? The final page feature Basil Cronus, who has a skull floating in a jar where his head should be! And there are thought balloons!

Actually, this is a fun comic. I wasn't sure if I'd like it, but it's fun. It features a big-ass fight at the Great Wall of China PLUS most of an origin tale PLUS an interlude with a superhero being tortured by a supervillainess. Phew! Yes, it rips off old comics, but so what? What doesn't these days? The point is - Casey is a writer we should trust. Yes, he gave us some godawful X-Men comic books. But he also gave us Wildcats Versions 2.0 and 3.0, Automatic Kafka, and The Intimates. This is pure fun, and I dig it.

GrimJack: Killer Instinct #6 by John Ostrander and Timothy Truman
$3.99, IDW

Ah, the final issue. If you haven't been buying this, I can't help you. Especially if you're not planning on buying the trade - then you might be beyond help. The first 16 pages of this issue are pretty much all fighting, as the shit hits the fan and Gaunt, as usual, needs to clean it off. There's a nice two-page interlude where he deals with Simone, the head vampire, in a particularly nasty way, and then it's back to the killing. Ostrander, another wildly good writer at building a story and keeping continuity tight and plausible, makes everything fit together and leads back to the main series. Without making John less of a bastard, he shows that he has a heart and knows what is right in the world. Whereas someone like, say, Bendis would make John give a big speech about what is right, Ostrander limits Gaunt's thoughts about Jo Chaney to three sentences that sums up why he's a big ol' softie at heart (okay, not really, but sort of) and how horrible he feels about letting her down. Then he's back to bastard mode.

Best mini-series of the year so far. Buy the trade.

Hero Squared #1 by Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis, and Joe Abraham
$3.99, Boom! Studios

I could just rerun my quick review of Defenders #1 from last week, since it's the same writers. But I won't. You may be getting tired of the Giffen/DeMatteis schtick. Why you would get tired of their schtick and not the Morrison schtick or the Ellis schtick or the Bendis schtick or the Ennis schtick is beyond me (I just like typing "schtick"). The point is, yes, they have honed their craft to the point where they could probably write this in their sleep, but so what? No one gets bent out of shape when Ellis writes another British bastard who curses and drinks but has a soft spot for the ladies! And the neat thing about this book, as opposed to their work for DC or Marvel is that the possibility exists that things will not work out, because it's their creation. In this issue, there's the hint of darkness that always made their best Justice League stuff some of the best comics of their time. Captain Valor did something awful to Stephie in his world that made her a supervillainess, but he's not telling. Stephie in this world is obviously madly in love with Milo, but she is hiding something from him. Captain Valor doesn't know how to live like a normal person because he isn't one, while Milo doesn't know how to be heroic because he isn't one. Character studies were always the strong suit of the old Justice League, and Giffen and DeMatteis are presenting us with four fairly flawed people (in their own ways) and letting the chips fall. Of course the humor is there, but it's tinged slightly with desperation (not on the creators' part, on the characters' part) because they're all in situations that are completely new to them. The second issue (really the third, since a "preview" came out months ago) might never materialize, since this one took forever, but this is a neat little series. 4 bucks every month is a little steep, but the infrequency with which this appears makes it worth it.

JLA: Classified #10 by Warren Ellis and Jackson Guice (I refuse to call him "Butch")
$2.99, DC

Is Luthor still president in the DCU? If not, then this tale really is dated. I know this is a couple of years old, but as anything with über-writer Ellis, it feels pretty fresh. Shit happens. I never said Ellis was bad at hooking the audience. We'll see if this story justifies (sigh) six issues.

I have a couple of complaints, or rather, questions. Does Perry White really talk like that? Here's some sample dialogue: "Lane. Kent. I am your editor. Prepare to die." "In fact, I intend to kill you myself after I have drunk your blood." "Then get him out of the bar! Use weapons! Use explosives! I don't care!" This sounds like J. Jonah Jameson on speed, but as I don't read Superman comic books, is this how White talks? Or is this Ellis trying to make him cool? It was really jarring.

And also, for my married readers, do married people really banter like Clark and Lois? I have been married almost 11 years, and I love my wife, and we banter a lot, but this seemed strange, like Lois and Clark were just beginning to date. My wife and I usually banter about how stupid I am. Believe me, there are plenty of opportunities. So what's the deal, married people?

Anyway, it's pretty. And Ellis-cool. Yes, I'll be back. Stamp "Ellis whore" to my forehead.

Silent Dragon #1 by Andy Diggle and Leinil Francis Yu
$2.99, DC/Wildstorm

Holy Mother of Crap, this is a beautiful book. Yu has gotten a lot better over the years, and this simply stunning. The Japanese landscapes are exquisite, the people are nicely differentiated, the final page is brutal and beautiful at the same time, and the big dude on page 5 is breathtaking. Amazing.

The story is pretty cool, too. Renjiro is an enforcer for a Yakuza clan in 2062. This clan plans to unite with two other clans to take Japan back to the glory of the samurai days. Lord Hideaki, the leader of the clan, has a hot wife, Lady Takara. She digs Renjiro. Oh, it's all very dramatic. She plans to poison her husband because, well, he's a jerk. It all goes horribly wrong (of course), and Renjiro is blamed for the crime of poisoning the other two clan leaders. So he's beheaded. Whoops! Why does he appear at the beginning of the book, a year later, to meet up with Takara? Why, we don't know, do we?

This is really a neat book. Diggle structures it well, with the scene at the beginning, then the flashback, and the final page, which shows Renjiro's headless corpse. This isn't how every comic book should be structured, but it works well here. Get 'em hooked, and then tell the backstory! But don't drag it out! How hard is that?

Western Tales of Terror #5 by Various Creators
$3.50, Hoarse and Buggy Productions

Guy has been pimping this anthology for a while, so I bought the latest issue. Turns out it's the last one. Speakeasy is also taking over Hoarse and Buggy. What the hell?

Anyway, it's an anthology. That means the stories are short and rest solely on the hook. If you don't like the hook, you probably won't like the story. Luckily, most of the stories contained within are good. Tom Mandrake writes and draws a creepy tale about a crazy old woman (I LOVE Mandrake's art); Joseph Gauthier writes about what happens when people start listening to the wind, with R.H. Aidley supplying Barry Windsor-Smith-esque art; Jason Rand and Juan Ferreyra, the creative team behind Small Gods (just go buy it!), tell a rather predictable tale about, well, chili; Jason Rodriguez and Marco Magallanes contribute a story that confused me (did the guy kill the other guy? help me out here!); Matty Field, Tony Moore, and Nate Bellegarde show what happens when you play poker with the wrong people; Steve Niles and Scott Miles bring us a goofy tale about zombies; and Joshua Hale Fialkov and Mark Dos Santos continue a story about a Chinese dragon in a gold mine. Phew! Most are good (the quality actually declines the further you go in the book, which is weird), and all have something to recommend. This is the kind of thing I wish Marvel and DC did more of (and no, the new Spider-Woman book doesn't count). Vignettes are fun.

X-Men #173 by Peter Milligan, Salvador Larroca, and Danny Miki
$2.50, Marvel

Here's another writer who knows how to build a story. While he's concentrating on the main plot about Mystique infiltrating the Institute and trying to drive Gambit and Rogue apart, Milligan also remembers the previous storyline with Golgotha and keeps bringing up Lorna's weird experience in space, and he keeps in mind that Rogue has new powers. The main story is actually pretty weak, except for the fact that Mystique has an ulterior motive for being at Xavier's. The bickering between Gambit and Rogue is silly, but the other aspects of the plot are interesting. I appreciate that Milligan is trying to create a feel to the book that Morrison and Claremont did - that events have consequences far down the road, and things shouldn't be wrapped up just for the trade paperback. I'm still not totally sold on him, though, and next issue might be the deal breaker. We'll see. Larroca's art is pretty.

Another big chunk of change out of my bank account. When will I learn? What do y'all think of my purchases?

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Weekly Comics: Can They Work in America?

By now you’ve all heard about DC Comics’ upcoming series, 52, which will be published weekly and chronicle, in “real-time,” what happened during the soon-to-be-missing “year” of stories.

Does anyone seriously think this will work?

There are numerous issues to think about. For instance, lateness. I gather that they’re trying to use several writers and artists at the same time to coordinate this series, in order to keep it on schedule, but it’s bound to slip, mainly because *all* the big projects slip from their schedules these days.

Secondly, sales. The title guarantees 52 issues, but what if the sales are abysmal? Are they seriously going to keep publishing it? Sure, golden boys (and my archnemeses) Johns and Rucka and the gang will probably be writing it (and I bet Rags Morales will draw a couple of issues), but I wonder if interest will hold up that long, considering it’ll probably amount to “The Adventures of Blue Beetle III.”

Thirdly, price. I wonder how much they expect someone to pay for this per issue. Three bucks? No way will anyone be willing to drop an extra twelve dollars a month on this, unless they are a “DC Drone.” But how much of a financial hit is DC willing to take to get this out? Will it be a buck? Two? Two-fifty?

Fourthly, which isn’t that big of a deal, how are they going to collect it? A new trade every two months, or per season? Eh, who knows.

Alls I can say is, I probably won’t be buying this unless it’s written by Grant Morrison and Mark Waid and stars Elongated Man in every issue.

Then again, the UK has been putting out stuff like 2000AD for years, and they don’t seem to have much of a problem. Then again, their entire operation, creatively, financially, and everything else, is completely different from the American way of publishing comics.

So... thoughts?

Read More

Current Comics Report for 7/27

This is a report about what I think about the comics of this week, based upon Diamond's Shipping This Week list, as reprinted below, with my (sometimes quite snarky, so be forewarned) comments.

Certain sections of the Current Report on the 7/27 Comic Book Week contain forward-looking statements that are based on my expectations, estimates, projections and assumptions. Words such as “expect,” “anticipate,” “plan,” “believe,” “estimate” and variations of these words and similar expressions are intended to identify forward-looking statements, which include but are not limited to projections of books being good, writing performance, character flaws, artistic coolness and continued title stability.

Forward-looking statements are made pursuant to the safe harbor provisions of the Prognasticators Reform Act of 1995, as amended. These statements are not guarantees of future performance and involve certain risks and uncertainties, which are difficult to predict. Therefore, actual future results and trends may differ materially from what is forecast in forward-looking statements due to a variety of factors, including, without limitation:

• A book being better than I thought it would be;

• A different creative team on a book;

• A different type of story than I thought it was;

• Differences in anticipated and actual performance by the writer and/or artist

All forward-looking statements speak only as of the date of this report or, in the case of any document incorporated by reference, the date of that document.All subsequent written and oral forward-looking statements attributable to me are qualified by the cautionary statements in this section...

Shipping This Week: July 27, 2005

DARK HORSE

JUN050037 DUNGEON SIEGE BATTLE FOR ARANNA GN $6.95
MAY050040 HELLBOY THE ISLAND #2 (OF 2) $2.99

Is this last Mignola art on this book for awhile?

APR050038 OH MY GODDESS VOL 21 TP $10.95
MAR050084 STAR WARS REPUBLIC #77 $2.99

Has Ostrander been on this book since #1?

If so....DAMN, that's a long time!

DEC040032 USAGI YOJIMBO VOL 19 FATHERS AND SONS TP $15.95

DC COMICS

MAY050270 ALBION #2 (OF 6) $2.99

I predict that very little will actually happen in this issue.

MAY050271 ASTRO CITY THE DARK AGE #2 (OF 16) $2.99

I estimate that this will be an enoyable step up from #1, which I thought was good, but a little heavy on the setup.

MAY050197 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #6 (OF 6) $2.99
MAY050262 CARTOON NETWORK BLOCK PARTY #11 $2.25

I predict that at least ONE creator that you enjoy is working on this issue!

MAY050202 CATWOMAN #45 $2.50

I bet that this issue ties into Infinite Crisis....SUCKER BET!

MAY050274 CITY OF TOMORROW #4 (OF 6) (MR) $2.99
MAY050226 DOOM PATROL #14 $2.50

I predict that this issue will be a fun throwback.

MAY050229 FLASH #224 $2.50

Savor this, people, it may be the last issue of a Geoff Johns title NOT tied directly into Infinite Crisis.

MAY050294 HELLBLAZER #210 (MR) $2.75
MAY050236 JLA CLASSIFIED #10 $2.99

I predict that there will be SOME hint that this story was meant to be published, like, two years ago.

MAY050237 JLA CYBERFORCE $5.99

I estimate that this will be surprisingly good.

By the by, isn't Cyberforce all DEAD, except for the fast girl?

MAY050240 KINETIC TP $9.99
MAY050242 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #8 $2.99

I predict that Cosmic Boy will annoy me in this issue.

MAY050295 LOSERS #26 (MR) $2.99

Is this the one drawn by Colin Wilson?

Why isn't Colin Wilson a bigger name?

Someone explain that to me!!!

MAY050298 NEIL GAIMANS NEVERWHERE #2 (OF 9) (MR) $2.99
MAY050207 NIGHTWING YEAR ONE TP $14.99

Hmmm...maybe Dixon should write Nightwing!

Nah, that would never work.

MAY050243 OMAC PROJECT #4 (OF 6) $2.50

"La la la, okay, opening up the fourth issue of my mini-series. Let's see how they resolve that cliffhanger from #3...what? What's this? Gigantic plot points from a MINI-SERIES are resolved in OTHER titles, leaving the mini-series to make almost no sense to readers who didn't buy FOUR other comic books (okay, two other comic books, as the first two parts can be skipped no problem)?"

DC: There's No Stopping Us Now!

MAY050302 OTHERWORLD #5 (OF 12) (MR) $2.99

If you put blank space where the dialogue and captions are in this book....

....

well, you'd have a lot of blank spaces.

MAY050244 OUTSIDERS #26 $2.50

The original Outsiders! I sure hope there's some hidden secret in their past!

MAY050283 PROMETHEA BOOK 5 HC $24.99
MAY050249 SGT ROCK ARCHIVES VOL 3 HC $49.99
MAY050281 SILENT DRAGON #1 (OF 6) $2.99

Andy Diggle is the man. Yu can be good. This should be good.

MAY050210 SUPERMAN BATMAN #21 $2.99

Slow down, Loeb! Last issue was TOO harsh! We don't want Marvel to cry, do we?

MAY050257 TEEN TITANS GO #21 $2.25

This issue will be good.

MAY050266 TENRYU THE DRAGON CYCLE VOL 2 $9.99
MAY050216 WONDER WOMAN #219 $2.50

"Wait a sec...I control 1/3 of the DCU, and one of the titles I write isn't selling too great....what if I tie everything into this title?!?"

A plan is hatched.

MAY050209 YEAR ONE BATMAN RAS AL GHUL #2 (OF 2) $5.99

I predict that this will be better than it has any business being.

IMAGE

JAN051591 CASEFILES SAM & TWITCH #18 (MR) $2.50

Mature Readers, eh?

FINALLY, I get to see Twitch naked!

APR051660 GODLAND #1 $2.99

I estimate that this will be good.

MAY051596 TOMB RAIDER WITCHBLADE MAGDALENA VAMPIRELLA ONE SHOT $2.99

Between the four of them, they might have enough clothing for one woman.

MARVEL

MAY051756 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #522 $2.50

Does JMS think the world will end soon?

Because he sure seems to be rushing all of his Avengers stories right into the first couple of issues.

Three issues in, and he's already doing "MJ Parker having an affair with Tony Stark!"

MAY051817 AVENGERS WEST COAST VISION QUEST TP $24.99

Wait...Sublime AND House of M all derive from one Avengers West Coast storyline?

I fear for my sanity.

MAY051765 BLACK PANTHER #6 $2.99

This is the issue where, to complete Black Panther's origin recap, Black Panther travels into outer space to beat the Russkies, and is bombarded with cosmic radiation.

Wouldn't you LOVE to see the fan reaction if that happened?

MAY051824 COMBAT ZONE TRUE TALES OF GIS IN IRAQ VOL 1 TP $19.99
MAY051770 DAREDEVIL VS PUNISHER #2 (OF 6) $2.99

I predict another great issue.

APR051978 ESSENTIAL SPIDER-MAN VOL 4 TP NEW PRINTING $16.99
APR051979 ESSENTIAL WOLVERINE VOL 1 TP NEW PRINTING $16.99
MAY051819 EXILES VOL 10 AGE OF APOCALYPSE TP $12.99
MAY051772 FANTASTIC FOUR #529 $2.99

I estimate that we will get a long speech about the nature of the Fantastic Four's powers.

MAY051776 GIANT SIZE SPIDER-WOMAN #1 $4.99

It is so funny seeing Marvel attempt the Giant-Sized concept again. It is so not what modern readers are used to.

MAY051768 HERCULES #5 (OF 5) $2.99

I predict some funny stuff.

MAY051821 HOUSE OF M EXCALIBUR PRELUDE TP $11.99

It is smart to get this out now.

MAY051777 HULK DESTRUCTION #1 (OF 4)(MR) $2.99

Okay, so this is an in-continuity story about the Abomination...so it needed its own mini-series WHY, exactly?

MAY051778 MACHINE TEEN #3 (OF 5) $2.99

I hope that the plot moves forward.

MAY051795 MARVEL HEROES FLIP MAGAZINE #2 $3.99
MAY051796 MARVEL SELECT FLIP MAGAZINE #2 $3.99
MAY051743 NEW X-MEN #16 $2.99
MAY051808 NEW X-MEN HELLIONS #3 (OF 4) $2.99

Diamondback and Paladin! A geek's dream!

MAY051802 NIGHTCRAWLER #8 $2.99
MAY051788 OFFICIAL HANDBOOK MARVEL UNIVERSE AVENGERS 2005 $3.99
MAY051748 PULSE #10 $2.99

I estimate a strong issue starring Hawkeye.

MAY051747 PULSE HOUSE OF M SPECIAL ED #1 PI
MAY051784 RUNAWAYS #6 $2.99

I predict a cool reveal in this issue.

MAY051832 SECRET WARS TP NEW PRINTING $29.99

Who is the cover by this time?

MAY051779 SPELLBINDERS #5 (OF 6) $2.99

I predict we will not be seeing a continuation of this story.

APR051955 SPIDER-MAN HUMAN TORCH IM WITH STUPID DIGEST TP $7.99
MAY058106 ULTIMATE IRON MAN 3RD PRINTING #1 (OF 6) $2.99

Only third printing?

If this was by DC, it would be on its 7th by now!

MAY051827 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN VOL 13 HOBGOBLIN TP $15.99
MAY051800 X-MEN #173 $2.50

Do you think perhaps we might see some reference to Rogue's new powers in this issue?

Perhaps?

WIZARD

JUN052626 WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE JLA LEGION OF DOOM CVR #167 $5.99
JUN052627 WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE X-MEN 3 CVR #167 $5.99

Can't decide! Can't decide! Brain aneurysm!!!!

COMICS

APR053067 2000 AD #1445 (NOTE PRICE) $4.10
MAY052913 2000 AD #1446 $4.10
MAY052376 ACTOR DFE HUNTER KILLER ALT CVR #1 $6.99

I like ACTOR, so someone buy this silly cover!

MAY052379 ACTOR NEW AVENGERS #2 MIKI SGN $19.99

Ouch.

ACTOR could only get Miki to sign?

APR052513 ACTOR X-MEN FOREVER #1 ALT COVER $10.00

X-Men Forever? The Fabian Nicieza/Kevin Maguire project from five years ago?

DEC042430 ALAN MOORES HYPOTHETICAL LIZARD #3 (OF 4) (MR) $3.50
DEC042431 ALAN MOORES HYPOTHETICAL LIZARD WRAPAROUND CVR #3 (OF 4) (MR $3.50

Soon, it will be like the joke about the Beatles doing a new song called "This is John Lennon, leave a message after the beep."

Soon, we will have comics made out of, like, Alan Moore's tax return.

"Dependents From HELL!"

"Deductions of Agony!"

Or not.

MAY052989 ALL GROWN UP CINEMANGA VOL 2 GN (OF 2) $7.99
MAY052925 AMAZING AGENT LUNA VOL 2 GN $10.99
APR053023 ATTITUDE FEATURING NEAL SWAAB REHABILITATING MR WIGGLES TP ( $10.95
APR053015 BELLE STARR QUEEN OF BANDITS #1 (MR) $2.95
APR053083 BEOWULF #3 $2.99

Anyone know who's taking over this book?

AUG042366 BILL & TEDS MOST EXCELLENT ADVENTURES VOL 2 TP $13.95

Early Evan Dorkin, people!!

MAY052951 BLAME VOL 1 GN (OF 10) (MR) $9.99
JUN052823 BRIAN PULIDOS LADY DEATH DEAD RISING MARTIN SKETCH ED $34.90

Wait...it is Brian Pulido's Martin sketch cover?

How does THAT work?

JUN052821 BRIAN PULIDOS LADY DEATH SWIMSUIT 2005 KILLING BLOW ED $5.99
JUN052824 BRIAN PULIDOS UNHOLY NATURE CALLS CVR #2 (MR) $5.99

I wonder what is so unholy about Brian Pulido's Nature Calls.

Perhaps he calls Kansas really late at night?

MAY052895 CAPOTE IN KANSAS GN (MR) $11.95
MAR052824 CATEGORY FREAKS VOL 1 TP (MR) $9.95
MAY052896 COURTNEY CRUMRIN TALES #1 $5.95

This should be a lot of fun!

MAY052965 CROSS VOL 4 GN (OF 5) $9.99
MAY052879 CRYPTOZOO CREW VOL 1 TP $9.95
MAY052805 CSI NEW YORK BLOODY MURDER #1 (OF 5) $3.99

Now that IDW has both licenses, how long before CSI: Cybertron?

APR052555 CUTE MANIFESTO TP $19.95
MAY052813 CVO COVERT VAMPIRIC OPERATIONS ROGUE STATE TP (MR) $19.99
APR052924 DEAD WEST VOL 1 GN $14.95
APR052744 DEMIS STRANGE BEDFELLOWS NUDE CVR #4 (A) $5.95
APR053096 DOT HACK SIGN AI BUSTER NOVEL $7.99
MAY052708 DR BLINK SUPERHERO SHRINK #1 (O/A) $2.99
MAY052968 DRAGON KNIGHTS VOL 20 GN (OF 22) $9.99
MAY052958 DREAM SAGA VOL 5 GN (OF 5) $9.99
MAY052423 DREAMLAND CHRONICLES #2 (OF 24) $4.50
MAY052990 DUEL MASTERS CINEMANGA VOL 5 GN (OF 7) $7.99
MAY052786 EC ACES HIGH ANNUAL #1 (O/A) $13.50
MAY052785 EC FRONTLINE COMBAT ANNUAL SET (O/A) $37.40
MAR053121 ECLIPSE AND VEGA THE BEDS WE MAKE #3 (OF 3) $2.95

"Whistles innocently"...you have my address....."Whistles innocently"....hehe.

MAY052678 EDGAR ALLAN POE FALL O/T HOUSE OF USHER & OTHER TALES TP $12.95
MAY052494 EL ARSENAL #1 (OF 3) (MR) $2.95
MAR058098 ESCAFLOWNE VOL 1-4 GN SET (PP #670) $19.99
APR052653 FATHOM SIGNED ED #1 $29.99
MAY052474 FIST FULL OF DOLLARS NINJA HIGH SCHOOL #130 PI
MAY052793 FLARE #26 $2.99
MAY052971 FRUITS BASKET VOL 11 GN (OF 14) $9.99
MAY052384 FULL METAL PANIC MANGA VOL 8 TP $9.99
MAY052674 GENSHIKEN VOL 2 GN (MR) $10.95
MAY052414 GIMOLES #1 (OF 4) (NOTE PRICE) $0.75
MAY052960 GIRL GOT GAME VOL 10 GN (OF 10) $9.99
APR052967 GRIMJACK KILLER INSTINCT #6 (OF 6) $3.99

Yay for Greg!

MAY053023 GTO VOL 1 GN (O/A) $9.99
MAY052961 GTO VOL 25 GN (OF 25) (MR) $9.99
MAY052676 GURU GURU PON CHAN VOL 1 GN $10.95
JUN052812 GYPSY #1 $3.50
JUN052813 GYPSY ADRIAN CVR #1 $3.50
JUN052815 GYPSY NOUVEAU CVR #1 $3.50
JUN052816 GYPSY PREMIUM CVR #1 $9.99
JUN052814 GYPSY REARTE CVR #1 $3.50
JUN052963 HAW GN NEW PTG (A) $8.95
MAY052974 HEAVEN ABOVE HEAVEN VOL 2 GN (OF 6) (MR) $9.99
JUN052964 HEE (A) $2.50
MAR052699 HERO SQUARED #1 (OF 3) $3.99

I hope this has more of a plot than the one shot!

Is the first artist still on the project? He was good.

MAR052700 HERO SQUARED PULL MY FINGER CVR #1 OF(3) $3.99
MAY052412 IMPERIAL DRAGONS #1 (OF 6) (NOTE PRICE) $0.75
MAY052975 INITIAL D VOL 19 GN (OF 29) $9.99
MAY052505 JUGHEAD #167 $2.25

Should Jughead date?

No one ever answers me when I ask this question.

Don't any of you care about Jughead?!?!

MAY053064 KARMA INCORPORATED #1 (OF 3) $2.95
APR052678 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE #1 (OF 4) $3.99
JUN052884 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE COMM CVR #1 (OF 4) $5.99
APR052682 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE GLOW CVR #1 (OF 4) $19.99
MAY052640 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE GOLD FOIL #1 (OF 4) $5.99
APR052681 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE PREMIUM CVR #1 (OF 4) $9.99
APR052680 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE RYP CVR #1 (OF 4) $3.99
APR052679 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE WRAPAROUND CVR #1 (OF 4) $3.99
JUN052822 LADY DEATH LEATHER & LACE 2005 HOT AS H$$$ ED $5.99

DO NOT BUY! NOT BRIAN PULIDO AUTHORIZED!

THIS LADY DEATH WEARS A TRACK SUIT!

DO NOT BUY!

THESE COMIC WILL GIVE YOU HERPES!

NOT PULIDO BRAND LADY DEATH COMICS!

MAY052962 LAMENT OF THE LAMB VOL 7 GN (OF 7) $9.99
MAY052422 LIONS TIGERS & BEARS TP $9.99

This was a fun series.

APR052507 MEN OF MYSTERY #54 $6.95
MAY052811 METAL GEAR SOLID #11 $3.99
MAY052963 MODEL VOL 7 GN (OF 7) $9.99
MAY052994 MY LITTLE PONY JR CINEMANGA VOL 1 GN $3.99

My life is now complete.

OCT042837 NAGDILA VOL 1 TALE OF THE GOLDEN AGE GN $19.95
MAY052472 NHS PKT MANGA FIVE PACK SPECIAL PI
MAY052675 NODAME CANTIABILE VOL 2 GN (MR) $10.95
MAY052397 NOTENKI MEMOIRS SC $9.99
APR053202 ODDLY NORMAL #4 (OF 4) $2.95

You would be well advised to give this series a try.

MAY052622 OZ WONDERLAND CHRONICLES PREVIEW $2.99
APR053077 POISON ELVES VENTURES #2 LYNN #2 (MR) $3.50
MAY052420 PSI KIX VOL 1 GN $9.99
APR053045 QUEEN & COUNTRY DECLASSIFIED VOL 3 #2 (OF 3) (MR) $2.99

Why base an adventure about these guys?

APR053203 RANDOM ENCOUNTER #4 (OF 4) $2.95
MAY052978 RAVE MASTER VOL 16 GN (OF 29) $9.99
MAY052980 REBIRTH VOL 15 GN (OF 18) $9.99
MAY052981 RISING STARS OF MANGA VOL 5 GN (OF 6) $9.99

Does it include pin-ups of the creators?

MAY052954 RIZELMINE GN $9.99
MAY052955 SAIYUKI RELOAD VOL 1 GN (OF 4) (MR) $9.99
MAY052982 SAMURAI DEEPER KYO VOL 15 GN (OF 27) (MR) $9.99
MAY052512 SATANS 3 RING CIRCUS OF H$$$ TP (MR) $19.95
MAY052956 SCRAPPED PRINCESS VOL 1 GN (OF 3) $9.99
MAY052983 SHAOLIN SISTERS REBORN VOL 2 GN (OF 4) $9.99
JUN052825 SHI POISONED PARADISE #1/2 ROYAL BLUE FOIL ED $75.00

A bargain at twice the price!

I mean, come on, it is ROYALTY!

MAY053069 SHONEN JUMP SEP 05 #33 $4.99
MAY052964 SHUTTERBOX VOL 3 GN (OF 3) $9.99
MAY052984 SNOW DROP VOL 10 GN (OF 12) (MR) $9.99
MAY052991 SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS CINEMANGA VOL 9 GN (OF 12) $7.99

Cinemangas are funny.

JUN052793 STARGATE SG1 DANIELS SONG DALLAS CON GOLD ED #1 $4.99
JUN052794 STARGATE SG1 FALL OF ROME JUDGE SGN #3 (OF 3) $39.99
APR052901 STICKY #3 (A) $4.95
MAY052985 SUIKODEN III VOL 7 GN (OF 8) $9.99
MAY052508 TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #4 $2.39

Does it have a Josie Manga story?

MAY052608 TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #33 (MR) $2.95
FEB052489 TED NOODLEMAN BICYCLE DELIVERY BOY TP $9.99

This was a fun series.

NOV042476 THRESHOLD LOOKERS NUDE CVR #53 (MR) $6.00
NOV042475 THRESHOLD LOOKERS WRAPAROUND CVR #53 (MR) $4.99
NOV042474 THRESHOLD PANDORA CVR #53 (MR) $4.99
JAN052537 THRESHOLD PANDORA DEMON NUDE CVR #53 (MR) $6.00
NOV042477 THRESHOLD PANDORA NUDE CVR #53 (MR) $6.00
MAY052888 TICK DAYS OF DRAMA #1 $4.95

Coolness!

MAY052889 TICK DAYS OF DRAMA LTD VARIANT CVR #1 PI
MAY052706 TIM BURTONS NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS MANGA GN $8.99

Is this a Cinemanga, or what?

FEB052829 TIMES OF BOTCHAN VOL 1 GN (OF 10) $19.99
MAY052986 TOKYO TRIBES GN VOL 3 (RES) (MR) $9.99
MAY052987 TRAMPS LIKE US VOL 6 GN (OF 10) (MR) $9.99
MAR052787 TRANSFORMERS UNIVERSE #1 RED FOIL CON ED $12.99
MAY052677 TSUBASA VOL 6 GN $10.95
MAY052779 UNCLE SCROOGE #344 $6.95
MAY052988 VAMPIRE GAME VOL 12 GN (OF 14) $9.99
MAY052778 WALT DISNEYS COMICS & STORIES #659 $6.95
JUN053013 WESTERN TALES OF TERROR #5 (MR) $3.50

This series has been interesting so far.

APR052819 YELLOW VOL 1 GN (MR) $12.95

Recommended!

Well, that's it for me.

Feel free to share your thoughts, and be sure to check back to see how wrong I was about everything.

Except My Little Pony, of course.

Read More

This Crossover Was Bad - Secret Wars II (Part 3 of 3)

This look at Secret Wars II concludes here!

The Mighty Thor #363

What Happens? Thor returns to Earth from Hell just in time to meet up with Kurse, who is still trying to kill Thor. Beta Ray Bill and Power Pack show up to help Thor out, and eventually, the Beyonder shows his face as well.

Was it good? Yes, it was. This was right after the absolute CLASSIC Thor issue with the Executioner standing his ground at the bridge. This issue is nowhere nearly as good as THAT one, but it still a fine issue. Simonson’s art is, as always, awesome. Also, he worked plot threads from his wife’s comic, Power Pack, very nicely. Simonson writes children well (as seen by the good job he does with the Asgardian kids). Of course, Simonson also has to run afoul of the deus ex machina powers of the Beyonder, as he has to come up with a reason why Beyonder can restore Thor’s hammer to full power, but he won’t fix Thor’s face.

How much did it tie in? A good deal, I suppose. The Beyonder is in it a lot, but he didn’t HAVE to be, ya know?

Was it better for being tied in? No sir. The issue would have been much cooler without the Beyonder. Simonson uses him well, I think, but it does not really add anything to the story.

Power Man and Iron Fist #121

What Happens? “Captain Hero” learns that he is going to die soon. He does not take this news well. Meanwhile, the Falcon shows up when he hears about the whole Beyonder thing. Power Man takes Beyonder to get some soul food while Iron Fist and Falcon get involved with SHIELD to blow up Beyonder’s base of operations. Iron Fist changes his mind and tries to stop SHIELD, but an agent decides to send missiles anyways, with everyone inside! Captain Hero and Iron Fist try to stop the missiles, but Beyonder eventually does.

Was it good? Yes, it was pretty good. This was towards the end of Jim (Christopher Priest) Owsley and Mark Bright’s run. I liked their run. It was funny, and Bright’s art was nice and clean and crisp. What is amazing to me is how the scene where Beyonder goes to the soul food restaurant with Power Man (and makes himself black, which angers the other diners) does not read all that awkward. How many racial references made in 1985 would NOT seem horribly, horribly dated today? Impressive job.

The Falcon showing up was pretty weird. I like this Falcon better than the one he would write 19 years later. But I guess he thought he wouldn’t sell.

The Captain Hero stuff was horribly dorky, but I liked Iron Fist deciding not to betray the Beyonder. Especially the scene where he destroys the missile with his fist.

How much did it tie in? Heavily. Beyonder is featured throughout the issue.

Was it better for being tied in? No, but then again, the issue’s entire plot is “Power Man and Iron Fist react to the Beyonder,” so if there was no Beyonder, the comic would not exist. That being said, I think the issue would have been better if the creative team had just been allowed to do a normal issue.

Secret Wars II #7

The lesson Shooter is teaching us here is that you have to find your own way in life, you cannot just follow false prophets, like “Power of Positive Thinking.”

In this issue, the Beyonder goes to an island just to think. Well, a guy sees him, asks what he is doing, and when the Beyonder tells him, the man decides to become a follower.

Well, a whole cult, basically, forms around the Beyonder. People come from all over to sit on the island with the Beyonder and just think.

Shooter is clearly taking the piss of the whole mental health guru movement of the 80s.

In any event, Mephisto is pissed at the Beyonder, because he is scared of him. So he decides to make a deal with a whole pile of bad guys to go after the Beyonder. What they do not know is that Mephisto has trapped all the power the Beyonder used to destroy Death last issue, and when they touch him, it will set off a device, destroying a third of the universe!!!

The thing is, Mephisto needs Beyonder to stay where he is, so he tricks the Thing into tussling with the Beyonder. However, the Thing’s good nature prevails, and he relents at the last moment – just in time for the villains to attack. Since Mephisto gave Thing extra power (to fight Beyonder and make sure Beyonder stayed on the island), the Thing is able to fight off all the villains until their power ran out.

Not a bad issue, really. Again, though, we’re just repeating things. I mean, the Beyonder’s plot is not moved forward at all, except for the idea that it is now his purpose to find OTHER people’s purposes (as he helped the Thing find his purpose as a defender of life).

New Mutants #36

What Happens? The Beyonder decides to visit Illyana again, and relieve her of her burden of the mistress of Limbo. Sadly, that means the burden passes to Kitty Pryde. Illyana, working as a herald of Beyonder, manages to make Cannonball a disciple of Beyonder as well, but eventually, the New Mutants snap them both out of it.

Was it good? Not really. Mary Wilshire does a good job emulating Bill Sienkiewicz (who inks her, I believe), but the story is just kinda blah.

I mean, the whole “He is perfect, we should follow him…but no, that would take away our free will!” plot was already done, like, three times in Secret Wars II so far.

Not impressed to see it here, especially as we know what is going to happen.

How much did it tie in? A lot. The Beyonder is featured in most of the issue.

Was it better for being tied in? I say no. This book already had plots that it could have addressed (like the short amount of time given to the reaction of the New Mutants to Magneto as their headmaster) that were missed out on because of having to tie into the crossover.

Amazing Spider-Man #273

What Happens? The Puma is tasked with killing the Beyonder. The Beyonder shows up at the end. That’s really about it.

Was it good? No, not really. I was never a fan of the Puma. I mean, he was interesting enough, I suppose, but not as much as the Spider-books thought he was. I mean, there is a REASON that A. He never got his own book and B. No one used him in the past decade. Frenz’s art was nice, and I like the interaction between Peter and Mary Jane. But Defalco did not do much with this issue.

How much did it tie in? Not a lot, really. The Puma is tasked with killing the Beyonder, but the Beyonder doesn’t appear until the end.

Was it better for being tied in? No. It would have been better if there was no Puma plot.

Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #111

What Happens? The Puma is transported to Japan, where he meets up with a wise man who is also advising the Beyonder. The Beyonder knows that Puma’s place is to kill him, so he decides to let him do it. But at the end, Spider-Man causes Puma to doubt himself enough to not kill the Beyonder. The wise man is killed by someone gunning for the Beyonder, for some random reason.

Was it good? Yes, it was pretty good. Rich Bucker’s art was strong, and Jim Owsley’s script was good. A lot of things introduced here are present in Owlsey’s later work, like the stereotypical “wise man” who is secretly very modern (in this instance, he loves rock n roll). In addition, the ending is a real downer, as the Beyonder lets the wise man die because he thinks that is how it was meant to be, or something like that.

I don’t like how you HAD to have read the issue of Amazing to understand this issue.

How much did it tie in? A LOT.

Was it better for being tied in? I guess so, as the stuff that happened would NOT have happened were it not for the Beyonder.

Uncanny X-Men #202

What Happens? The Beyonder gives Rachel a lot of power and gives her a choice – kill him or save the X-Men from a Sentinel from the future. She chooses the latter, reluctantly.

Was it good? Not really. John Romita Jr’s art was good, as usual, but otherwise, the whole plot of the issue was kinda dorky. I mean, we just HAD this same plot in Spider-Man! Will Puma kill Beyonder? DUH, of course he won’t! Will Rachel kill Beyonder? DUH, of course she won’t!

How much did it tie in? A lot. The whole issue is about the Beyonder.

Was it better for being tied in? I say no, as the issue was pretty weak, so the fact that it tied into to Secret Wars II was a detriment for the story.

The New Defenders #152

What Happens? Moondragon tried to kill the Defenders. They stop her, but Beyonder gives her more power, and she tries again. This time, the day is saved by the dorkier Defenders apparently giving their lives to stop her.

Was it good? Oh lord, no. But first off, how lame is it that the LAST issue of Defenders is a freaking Secret Wars II tie-in!?!? Isn’t that, like, terribly insulting?

Not as insulting, I guess, as the fact that the climax of the issue is all the dorkier Defenders (Interloper, Andromeda, Manslaughter, Valkyrie and Gargoyle) give up their life force to stop Moondragon, ultimately “killing” all of them (all but the DORKIEST ones returned to life soon after).

Don Perlin’s art is average at best.

Peter Gillis’ story is strictly “let’s get this over with and let the popular characters go to better books.”

So basically, the whole issue is just letting Beast, Angel and Iceman have their stories wrapped up.

Just a lame, lame issue.

How much did it tie in? Not much. Beyonder just shows up to give Moondragon a power up.

Was it better for being tied in? No sir. But then again, it was pretty bad, so that’s not saying much.

Secret Wars II #8

Wow.

This issue was REALLY bad.

In it, the Beyonder just gets sick and tired of the universe, so he decides to destroy it.

That’s it, but that’s stretched out over the entire issue.

Shooter really had no other plot, so the rest of the issue is just filled with meaningless cameos.

“Hey Spider-Man, what’s up?”

“Hey Hulk, what’s shakin?”

“Oh, look, the X-Men!”

In this issue, Rachel chooses to destroy the Beyonder…but doesn’t. AGAIN.

The Molecule Man’s girlfriend betrays him, thinking that will make the Beyonder leave Owie alone.

And finally, the Avengers show up, and the Beyonder tosses a tornado at them, grabs Captain America, and runs off.

Sooooo bad.

The New Mutants #37

What Happens? The New Mutants have a showdown with the Beyonder – to the death. He forces them to get really bloodthirsty, and then just wipes them out of existence.

Was it good? It wasn’t that bad. The Beyonder parts of the book were terrible, but there are other, better scenes. For instance, the opening has the team watching a “Cowboys and Indians” movie, and Claremont explores what that is like to Dani, who is obviously a bit offended by the portrayals in the movie, which her teammates are oblivious to.

Then, later on, there is a good sequence where Sunspot tries to save someone trapped under a crane, but ultimately, fails. Luckily, She-Hulk was walking by, and she saves the day, but Sunspot feels like such a failure. There is a great exchange with a cop over how Sunspot shouldn’t feel down just because he failed.

Good stuff.

But then the Beyonder stuff happens, and the issue is a waste. Mary Wilshire and Bill Sienkiewicz do a good job on the art, but the story is almost non-existent.

How much did it tie in? Just the second half.

Was it better for being tied in? No, definitely not. The Beyonder scenes are the worst in the book.

Amazing Spider-Man #274

What Happens? The Beyonder and Mephisto make a deal. Mephisto gets a champion. If he passes a test of worthiness, the Beyonder will spare the universe for at least one more day. If he fails, the universe ends now. The Beyonder chooses Peter Parker as Mephisto’s champion, and makes the challenge whether Peter will renounce his responsibilities. The Beyonder uses the demon Zarathos to convince Peter to give up. Luckily, Parker pulls it off.

Was it good? This was a good issue, but you could tell that they thought it was REALLY REALLY good. They made it no ads and everything. DeFalco and Frenz clearly thought that this was, like, their best issue ever.

Zarathos (the Ghost Rider) really messes Spider-Man up. We’re talking boils on his face and everything!!

The responsibility Spider-Man cannot relinquish is to not let Kingpin be killed (as Spidey overhears an assassination plot).

Spider-Man is visited by many ghosts of people he knew who died, all telling him what a failure and a disappointment he has been.

However, Spider-Man still pulls it out, and saves Kingpin (who it turns out, didn’t even need the help), so the universe lives another day.

Lifting a pile of rubble to get Aunt May some medicine, it is not, but it is still a good issue and a nice example of Spidey overcoming odds to show how important responsibility is to him.

How much did it tie in? The whole issue ties in.

Was it better for being tied in? I guess so, but it doesn’t really read like a SPIDEY story, ya know? Kinda too metaphysical for him. Spidey works better when he is wrestling with INNER demons, not ACTUAL demons.

Uncanny X-Men #203

What Happens? Rachel decides for the THIRD time that she is going to kill the Beyonder. This time, she imprints every being in the universe, and is prepared for everyone to die if it means destroying the Beyonder. Ultimately, though, she cannot go through with it. Beyonder learns a valuable lesson. Meanwhile, Kitty is mad that she is the only one who can remember the New Mutants (due to her becoming head of Limbo with Illyana erased from existence).

Was it good? Not really. Remember what I said about repetition? Remember what I said about repetition? This is literally the second straight issue of X-Men where Rachel decides to kill the Beyonder, but something gets in the way. Add to the that the fact that the last issue of Secret Wars II #8 notes that the events of this, New Mutants and Amazing all touch place DURING #8, and it sorta sets you up that nothing is going to really happen in this issue.

John Romita Jr’s art is very nice (with able inks by guest inker Al Williamson), but the issue is a letdown.

Which is a shame, as it opens up strongly, with Claremont taking us into Rogue’s split psyche (remember, at this point in time, she was sharing her mind with the psyche of Carol Danvers).

Someone (I forget who) made a good joke, I think, about the whole “Phoenix dying was a bad thing” complaint, and that is, did she ever REALLY die? I mean, at this point, it was 4 years since she died (Jean Grey returned a month before this issue was released), and in that time, the Phoenix seemed to be in every other X-Men comic!! Either it was Madelyne Pryor and Mastermind making the X-Men THINK that the Phoenix was back, or else it was Rachel being the Phoenix.

Phoenix didn’t go anywhere.

I did enjoy the moral quandaries Claremont kept putting Rachel into, and seeing how she really didn’t do all that well most of the time (leading, of course, to the famous issue where Wolverine is forced to stab her rather than let her kill a bad guy), she was an intriguing character.

My problem is that she was nowhere near as interesting as all the OTHER characters Claremont had to work with, so it was more than a little annoying to see them take a back seat to Rachel.

Jessica Drew was in this issue, by the way, but Romita must have screwed up! Her breasts were not the size of watermelons!

How much did it tie in? A lot. The whole issue is Rachel absorbing people throughout the universe to go kill Beyonder.

Was it better for being tied in? No. If it were not for Beyonder, this might have been a good issue, actually.

Fantastic Four #288

What Happens? John Byrne explains Doom’s return. That’s it.

Was it good? No, no it was not.

Byrne’s art was nice, but the story was non-existent. Basically, if you recall, during Secret Wars, Doom appeared. However, at the TIME of Secret Wars, Doom was dead.

John Byrne did not like that, but Shooter thought that he needed Doom in Secret Wars, as he was one of the most famous Marvel villains.

So Byrne spends the entire issue explaining Doom’s appearance in Secret Wars, apparently it was through the efforts of the Beyonder, but the Beyonder of 1985, who…ah, fergit it…it is beyond convoluted.

In any event, Doom is back to normal in this issue.

Nice art by Byrne!

How much did it tie in? The Beyonder is featured a lot, but it really has nothing to do with the overall Secret Wars II story arc. It doesn’t even really fit in with the overall crossover arc.

Was it better for being tied in? No. Without the Beyonder, maybe Byrne would have found a better way to bring Doom back and explain his presence during Secret Wars.

Avengers #265

What Happens? The Avengers recover from the tornado BEyonder threw at them at the end of Secret Wars II #8. Beyonder and Cap talk, and Cap tries to attack him. The Avengers show up to stop Beyonder, but fail. The issue ends with the Beyonder more certain than ever that he will destroy the universe – to be continued in the last issue of Secret Wars II!

Was it good? Not really, but Roger Stern really did a marvelous job of trying to make lemonade out of the lemon of a plot he is given.

In this issue, Stern plants the seeds for Captain Marvel to become the Avengers leader, seeds which do not grow fully for over a YEAR! Talk about planning in advance!

The good thing about this issue was how well Stern gets into the psyches of each Avenger.

Captain Marvel is the calm, convincing leader.

Hercules is the brash one, practically moronic in his plans (He tells the group about how he beat this demi-God, to explain to them how they will beat Beyonder. They all basically roll their eyes….but it is funny to see how he really thinks it will be that simple).

Namor, who only recently joined the team, uses his past as an enemy to humans to try to fool the Beyonder, so that his teammates can free Cap.

Black Knight is as Stern always portrayed him…a nice guy, but a bit of a dork.

Captain America is handled well, as we see Cap come to terms with having to perhaps use deadly force on the Beyonder.

Buscema’s art is outstanding, especially his Hercules. He handles Hercules’ righteous fury BEAUTIFULLY.

How much did it tie in? Directly bridges the gap from the end of Secret Wars II #8 to the beginning of Secret Wars II #9.

Was it better for being tied in? No, but Stern DOES try to make the best of it.

Secret Wars II #9

A double-sized final issue!

Too bad it had about a half an issue of plot.

Milgrom and Leialoha really dropped the ball, art-wise. In an issue where they have to draw pretty much every known superhero in the Marvel Universe, they really do not put a lot of detail or effort into their depictions.

It’s too bad.

In any event ,the Beyonder has decided that he wants to become human.

So he makes a….sigh….make-people-human machine.

He firsts tests it by using it to re-make the New Mutants, and it succeeds.

He then makes himself human, and he HATES it, so he goes back.

He makes himself human AGAIN, but Mephisto shows up, and he has to suffer through some torture before he makes himself omnipotent again.

He then starts again, but that’s when all the heroes show up to stop him, including the Molecule Man.

To ward them off, Beyonder destroys a good chunk of the galaxy with a giant death ray blast, severely harming Earth in the process.

Molecule Man saves their lives.

But when they get to the gestation device, a booby trap explodes, but luckily, Sue Richards puts up a forcefield, which is reinforced by Rachel and the Silver Surfer, so they survive the nuclear bomb level of force.

They dared not mess with the device while the Beyonder was gestating, or else all his energy would leak out. So they will wait until he is born, and decide what to do THEN.

But the Molecule Man destroys the machine ANYways, and a giant explosion occurs, which the Molecule Man saves them from, but the Beyonder lies dead.

As the issue ends, though, we learn that the Molecule Man secretly sent the Beyonder’s energy to a new dimension, and in this dimension, the Beyonder explodes, creating a Big Bang…and a NEW Universe is created (yep, the actual New Universe, folks).

So, in case you are wondering, that was THREE climatic explosions in the last few pages, in which the heroes were miraculously saved each time.

How silly is THAT?

A silly ending to a silly series…but wait…that’s not all!!

Avengers #266

What Happens? The Avengers, Fantastic Four and Silver Surfer try to fix the damage done to Earth by the Beyonder. Molecule Man ends up fixing everything.

Was it good? Nope. The ENTIRE issue was basically just waiting until the Molecule Man fixes everything, licketedy split.

I thought that was pretty boring.

Buscema’s art was awesome, as usual, though.

However, a whole issue devoted literally to just cleaning up the mess made by a prior series?

UGH.

How much did it tie in? A lot. It was the epilogue.

Was it better for being tied in? No. It was just an explanation of how things were fixed.

Doesn’t get much more boring than that!

FINAL THOUGHTS

So there you have it, and I think the problems with the crossover are evident. A good deal of the issues were not REALLY meant to be tie-ins, or had to go out of their way to tie-in to the crossover.

Meanwhile, the issues almost as a whole were not improved by being part of the crossover, and if the crossover is not helping the issues be better, what is the point exactly?

As for the series itself, it started off strong enough, with a decent concept (although the Beyonder sure went to weird people for advice, didn’t he?), but it just could not last for nine issues.

You can’t build a nine-month crossover around “Guy learns about Earth.”

I admire Shooter, in a way, for trying to use the crossover format to tell a story filled with a heavy sense of meaning, which I think was in direct response to critics who knocked the first Secret Wars as brainless, but I think he lost sight of the fact that comics are supposed to be fun, and while one series about a guy learning about life, despair, hope, fitting in, etc. may be interesting, you do not want to bind other comic writers to telling the same story, especially as there are only so many ways you can tell it before getting repetitive.

So that, all in all, is why I think that Secret Wars II was a bad crossover.

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Three 7/20 Books That I Read So That You Did Not

Taking a break from Secret Wars II to, as always, tell you about three comics that I did not hear a lot about this week, and then ask you all to fill me in on comics that I did not read this week.

Spoilers ahead!!

Ororo: Before the Storm #2

This was another strong issue by Marc Sumerak and Carlo Barberi.

It is funny, but this has one of the weirdest continuity references I have seen in an X-Men comic in a long time.

You see, Sumerak has the item that Storm is hired to steal be a jewel of OZYMANDIAS!

Ozymandias, if you do not recall (and you really should not), was the servent of En Sabah Nur (Apocalypse to those non X-nerds out there), who appeared in a couple of issues of X-Men right before Onslaught.

In any event, like the first issue, I think Sumerak hit the right note when using continuity, which is to make it so that people who KNOW the continuity will say, "Ha! I remember that!" and those that do not will NOT be thinking, "Huh? Who is THAT?"

I thought that the opening was a bit weak, as the dialogue of the kids did not ring true. Ororo's guy friend would likely not act the way he did if it was just a training exercise!!!

However, the scenes inside the temple of the three kids fighting the booby traps? Very nice stuff.

The bad guy is suitably evil, and just believable enough that I can understand them being willing to work for him.

Barberi's art is a bit weaker than in the first issue, but it is still strong.

The ending was a nice cliffhanger.

So, all in all, barely, I will say...

Recommended!

Batgirl #66

I think I've noted this in the past, but Anderson Gabrych really deserves a lot of credit for truly nailing Cassandra Cain's persona.

He really seems to "get" her.

In this issue, he shows a little bit of the emotional learning he has given her, as she is now comfortable enough among people to go out on a date with a boy without it seeming weird.

I dig that.

However, at the same time, she still has that "body language reading" ability, so she can tell when he is ready to make a move, etc. Clever stuff.

Cassandra is off on a search for who she thinks is her birth mother, Shiva, by going to where Shiva grew up, so this issue begins her road trip.

However, she runs across this Road Hog, who is this metahuman who looks like an actual Hog, who is amused that she can beat him up, so he follows her around picking fights with her.

Funny stuff.

However, at the end, it has to tie into the OMAC Project, as OMAC is apparently staking out Shiva's digs, and when it sees the metahuman Road Hog, it decides to engage him and capture him (I guess OMAC collects superhumans now?), which is just thrown in for no reason (Cassandra just ignores it and goes on with her mission). It was really irritating.

In addition, I did not like Andy Kuhn's fill-in art.

Therefore, even though the characterizaton was good (I especially like the scene where she imagines how her parents might have gotten together), the annoying OMAC tie-in, plus the not-that-great art irked me just enough to say...

Not Recommended!

Red Sonja #1

This really seems like one of the most calculated books that I have seen in awhile. Everything from the story to the colors (actually, ESPECIALLY the colors) seems to be trying to evoke Kurt Busiek/Cary Nord/Dave Stewart's Conan series.

However, I enjoy Conan a lot, so I guess I cannot knock them that much for wanting to evoke Conan, especially as the characters DO have a lot in common.

In any event, writers Michael Avon Oeming and Mike Carey with artist Mel Rubi (and colorists Caesar Rodriguez and Richard Isanove) tell a strong tale with this issue.

Sonja and her steed, Thorne, are traveling around when they come across an attack upon a messanger.

This gives Sonja a chance to strut her stuff, and she makes short work of the raiders.

After some good banter (including questions about her armor, or lack thereof), she agrees to travel with the messanger as his guard, and when that fails, she decides to deliver his message (he has an unfortunate, but really cool, end).

However, the people of the kingdom do not take her message well, leading to a dramatic cliffhanger.

Rubi's art (with the Dave Stewart-esque coloring) looks really good, as strong as his art has ever looked (probably stronger).

Oeming and Carey tell a solid tale, with a good mix of action, magic and intrigue.

Good start to this series (or is #0 the start?).

Recommended (under the caveat that if you hate Conan, you will probably not like this)!

Now on to the books that I did not read, so I was hoping you might have read them and could tell me what I missed out on:

Rising Stars: Voices of the Dead #2

Silencers Vol. 2 #1

Supernatural Law: First Amendment Issue

Thanks!

Read More

This Crossover Was Bad - Secret Wars II (Part 2 of 3)

Here, I will continue the look at Secret Wars II...

Avengers #261

What Happens? The Avengers come home from their space adventure to find out that the government has a problem with the Avengers holding their aircraft in the middle of Manhattan. The Beyonder shows up, and tussles with the Avengers (meanwhile showing how the government was basically right not to want the Avengers hosting their aircraft in the middle of Manhattan). Wasp offers the Beyonder Avenger-in-training status, he turns them down, repairs all the damage, and leaves.

Was it good? Not really. Buscema’s art was great, as always. Likewise, there are some good character moments, like Captain Marvel visiting her parents, but too much of the issue was caught up in “laundry list” moments, you know, just taking care of business and stuff like that. Like Starfox leaving the team, or the Avengers being told not to park their aircraft in Manhattan…but mainly, the whole battle with Beyonder was just so silly. However, I DID like Wasp’s offer. That was clever.

How much did it tie in? A lot. Beyonder is in almost the entire issue.

Was it better for being tied in? No. Without the Beyonder plot, there might have been an actual plot in the issue.

Secret Wars II #5

This issue’s lesson is about despair and how to deal with it. It also marked the introduction of a very interesting plot device, who went on to become a notable character in the Marvel universe, including soon being a member of Warren Ellis’ upcoming superhero team book, Boom Boom!

Boom Boom was an interesting character, too bad that they felt as though they needed to pretty her up later on. She was more interesting as the “plain Jane.”

Beyonder and Tabitha bond in the issue, and it is great to see how flippant she is with a being she KNOWS could destroy her in an instant.

It also gets weirdly serious when she tries to kill herself a few times in the issue (she was abused by her father).

I liked her “I win…ten points” catchphrase, said whenever she gets over on someone.

The Beyonder takes Boom Boom with him to outer space, to see how the whole universe is afraid of Beyonder. Beyonder even roughs up some Celestials, just to show that he can (this would be made to seem pretty weird later on, when the Beyonder’s “true” nature was revealed in Englehart’s Fantastic Four run).

Eventually, even Boom Boom betrays the Beyonder, as she cannot see him in any terms but as a threat.

The Avengers (both squads) and Fantastic Four show up to kick his ass, and pound on him until they realize that the Beyonder is not even resisting.

He has appeared to have given up, muttering something about “Ten points” as he walks away despondent.

Not a bad issue.

The Thing #30

What Happens? The Thing, who is really mad at the Beyonder, faces up against the Beyonder, who, as we saw in the last issue of Secret Wars II, has basically just given up on life. The Thing beats him almost to death.

Was it good? Surprisingly, yes. Actually, the whole “Thing works for a Wrestling Company” plot was not as bad as you might imagine. Ron Wilson’s art was good, as always. Mike Carlin did not do a bad job with the writing on this issue, either. The Beyonder should have read that old Two-In-One Annual to know that the Thing likes to fight celestial beings in matches. In any event, the bit that I think got overlooked in this issue is that the Thing THINKS that his final blow was enough to kill the Beyonder. The fact that it WASN’T should not disguise the fact that Ben THOUGHT that he was killing the Beyonder!! That is lame.

How much did it tie in? A lot. It picks right up where the last issue of Secret Wars II ended.

Was it better for being tied in? Well, the sad truth is that Secret Wars and Ben Grimm were tied together a LOT at the time, so I guess it made sense to see Ben interact with the Beyonder.

Doctor Strange #74

What Happens? Dr. Strange gives the Beyonder a life lesson by forcing the Beyonder to relive Strange’s life.

Was it good? It was pretty good. Peter Gillis did a good job of making Strange out to be quite the hardass, as he made Beyonder live out Strange’s life, and if the Beyonder were not to follow Strange’s cue (decide to help instead of being selfish), then he was prepared to make the Beyonder live out Strange’s life FOREVER! In addition, this storyline picked up from the end of a big story arc with Clea’s realm. There is a really funny scene where a barber thinks he is going to be murdered for speaking out of turn. Good stuff. Mark Badger’s art was as good as I ever remember seeing it, especially the way he drew spells. Inking himself worked really well, I think.

How much did it tie in? Heavily. This was a major issue in the overall Secret Wars II storyline.

Was it better for being tied in? I think so, yes. It was a good issue, and the Beyonder part was the whole of the book.

Fantastic Four #285

What Happens? A kid who idolized Johnny Storm sets himself on fire, causing Johnny to give up being a superhero, until the Beyonder visits him and shows him how such a decision would be foolish.

Was it good? You ever see the Growing Pains episode about cocaine? Watching it today, it is still pretty decent, but it is also pretty hokey. I think the same would apply to this issue of Fantastic Four. Art-wise, this was one of the strongest issues of FF that I have seen from Byrne, as he convincingly handles the little boy who is a fan of Johnny Storm (by the by, what’s up with Byrne and drawing big round glasses on women? He draws the kid’s teacher with them, just like how he draws Heather Hudson’s glasses. It is weird). Granted, he also designed Johnny’s…uhmm…unfortunate choice of a haircut, but otherwise, the art is strong.

As for the STORY, well…it is kinda dorky. I mean, the kid lit himself on fire to be like the Human Torch! That is just IDIOTIC!!!! It is really a shame, as Byrne does an AMAZING job detailing the kid’s sad life. I mean, an EXCELLENT job (even little details like having the kid’s mom tell him to record a show the same time the show he was looking forward to is on).

And then he has the kid light himself on fire to be like the Human Torch?

It really takes you out of the drama when it is that stupid. So when Johnny gets all upset over it, it really does not ring that true. Byrne has some good scenes that would have worked nicely if the plot wasn’t so stupid, like when he draws Johnny flaming up…then stopping and calling a taxi. Great, dramatic scene…but for an idiotic plot!!

So when the issue ends with an F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, you expect that the preceding issue was, like, special or something…but sadly, the whole “lighting himself on fire to be like the Human Torch” part of the plot is just too dumb to take seriously.

How much did it tie in? Not much. The Beyonder shows up to show Johnny how the kid’s whole life was made worth living BECAUSE of Johnny.

Was it better for being tied in? Nope. It felt REALLY tacked on. Byrne must have been quite pissed to have his “very special issue” of Fantastic Four be a freakin’ Secret Wars II crossover!

Secret Wars II #6

In this issue, the lesson we learn is about fitting in, having a place for yourself in the world. The Beyonder decides that Dr. Strange has inspired him to become a force for good, and he goes about being a force for life. Amazingly enough, the cover of the Beyonder pushing heroes aside actually appears in the comic (albeit in someone’s mind)!

A local reporter becomes Beyonder’s representative in his fight against death.

Eventually, the Beyonder even DESTROYS Death!

The Molecule Man shows up to point out how that is a bad idea, and ultimately, Dave (the reporter), finds his place in life by becoming the NEW Death (as Beyonder took up too much of his power destroying Death, so he would need someone willing to die to become the new Death).

It was a decent enough issue (although Milgrom’s art seems rushed), but it is starting to get repetitive. I mean, didn’t Beyonder decide to become a superhero, like, three months earlier?

So Shooter is really beginning to repeat himself. And we still have THREE months to go!!

Cloak and Dagger #4

What Happens? Cloak and Dagger have a big talk with a priest about how Cloak is being too hard on drug dealers, but then, in the issue, they learn a lesson from Beyonder about moral absolutes.

Was it good? It was pretty good. Mantlo uses the Beyonder well, I think. He has him first kill every drug dealer in the world, which, of course, Cloak and Dagger object to. He then cures them all, and there is a big speechifying about how that is not the way to do it, about how you cannot play God, stuff like that. Rich Leonardi’s art is good, and the subplot about the cop who suspects that most of the police force is crooked was good. There really was a LOT of speechifying, though. Cloak sure could do soliloquies. The book is practically Shakespearean!

How much did it tie in? A lot. The whole issue, mainly.

Was it better for being tied in? Actually, yes. I think Mantlo uses the whole deus ex machina aspect of the Beyonder well.

Power Pack #18

What Happens? Kurse, a creature Beyonder let loose to attack Thor, barrels through Manhattan to find Thor, and in the ensuing destruction, severely hurts the Powers’ mother. The Power Pack then attack him, and Alex Power is extremely vicious when it comes to handling Kurse, as he wants revenge for his mother’s injury.

Was it good? It was quite good, as most Power Pack comics were. Louise Simonson basically on this title just created four incredibly in depth personalities, and then just spent the rest of her time on the series working the characters off each other and guest stars, with great success. Brent Anderson’s art, in addition, was quite good.

The way Alex Power blamed himself for his mother’s injury (she was picking up tagboard for him) was nice, and the way he got so bloodthirsty – so realistic, but in the end, he learned his lesson, which was great to see.

The end of this issue set up the classic next issue, which was when Katie Power invites everyone they’ve met over the past year to come to Thanksgiving dinner, including, of course, Wolverine…hehe.

How much did it tie in? The Beyonder set Kurse loose in one of the issues of Secret Wars II (he was giving Kurse what Kurse wanted, which was to kill Thor). He also takes the kids’ mother to the hospital, and helps them to get to see her.

Was it better for being tied in? No. The Beyonder was extremely peripheral to the issue.

The Micronauts: The New Voyages #16

What Happens? The Beyonder comes to the Microverse, and listening to this weird guy named Scion, agrees to help the Microverse by destroying several galaxies (to create a firewall to give time to save the entire Microverse). The Micronauts object to this, and fight the Beyonder and Scion.

Was it good? Not really, but I think partially because the story really drops you in the middle of a confusing mess. I barely remember any of the characters, and they kept referring to things that happened a while ago. Peter Gillis did a much better job with Dr. Strange. Kelley Jones’ art was nice, though, and Gillis probably DID so SOME good stuff with the whole “Deal with the Devil” idea. IS it worth letting millions die if it means saving multi-trillians?

How much did it tie in? A good deal, as the Beyonder gets involved a lot.

Was it better for being tied in? I do not think so. This issue was deus ex machina, but in a BAD way. I am especially growing weary of “big destruction that Beyonder fixes instantly.”

That’s it for this installment. I will finish up this look at Secret Wars II later tonight!

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