Monday, September 12, 2005

I Will Write Aquaman for Free

Attention! DC Editorial. This is Bill Reed speaking. Do not adjust your monitors. I am in control of the internet. It's also come to my attention, thanks to Lying in the Gutters, that no creative team has yet been chosen for Aquaman (unless it has. In which case, bah).

I offer you my services, for free. I shall write Aquaman, and it shall be glorious. And it will cost you nothing.

All I ask for is one year to prove my mettle; and in that time, (or even six months), if sales are not doubled on what they currently are (which is from 15-17k if I remember correctly), I shall eat something which most folks would consider inedible.

Trust me; I've got a fun pitch. I've got mad ideas. I am Grant Morrison Jr. (When I say "Grant Morrison" out loud, I transform into a pint-sized super-version of him!). I can do this. No sweat.

With a decent enough artist, hopefully one that's at least slightly well-known, and quite capable, I can make Aquaman the brilliantly awesome comic it was meant to me. Arthurian fantasy. Madcap modpop. The thing writes itself.

And if you get Mike Allred to draw it, I'll pay you twenty dollars.

That is all. You are free to go. For now. But remember my offer. One day, I'll have to write Aquaman. Might as well get it over with, eh?

Aquaman Should Be Good. Over and out.

*ksshk*

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8 Comments:

Anonymous thekamisama said...

Orange and Green's or Aqua-cam?

9/12/2005 07:24:00 PM  
Blogger Bill Reed said...

I admit; I love the orange shirt. And I know how to make it credible. But, like, it wouldn't necessarily be his only outfit.

9/12/2005 08:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"All I ask for is one year to prove my mettle; and in that time, (or even six months), if sales are not doubled on what they currently are (which is from 15-17k if I remember correctly), I shall eat something which most folks would consider inedible."

It can't be a shoe, though. Because Werner Herzog already did that. And he was true to his word too. He boiled the shoe in front of Errol Morris (winner of the wager) and a packed audience and proceded to scarf down. So no footwear, GM Jr.

9/12/2005 10:34:00 PM  
Blogger Bill Reed said...

A Canadian friend of mine has dared me to eat an entire zoot suit. Over the course of the week.

He is so on.

9/12/2005 10:41:00 PM  
Blogger Brian Cronin said...

Tadhg made a bet with me involving War Games.

He lost, but has WELSHED on the bet!

WELSHER!!!!!

9/13/2005 01:43:00 AM  
Blogger Axel M. Gruner said...

If you'll get DC to let you write Aquaman, will you just Du superheroe stuff or something else slightly submarine?
Just two words: Cthulhu rises.

9/13/2005 02:16:00 PM  
Blogger Bill Reed said...

Actually, I had the idea of underwater Lovecraftian madness, but I think Pirates of the Caribbean II is beating me to "Cthulu pirate." Bah.

I don't really think of Aquaman as a superhero. Neither does Aquaman himself; he just helps out 'cause he can. Wherever he goes, he's a king. He's a leader of men. But a superhero? Not necessarily.

Sometimes an orange shirt is just an orange shirt.

9/13/2005 04:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Brad said...

"Sometimes an orange shirt is just an orange shirt."

You're going to do a Freudian take on Aquaman? I bet Vertigo would still go for that, at this point.

9/14/2005 04:00:00 PM  

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