Monday, March 14, 2005

Man down! Man down!

The thing with an infection is, it doesn't seem so bad at first. Like a minor annoyance at most. An infection never seems like an infection until it's too damn late and you're coughing up grape-sized mucous wads. Last week I caught a little cold. Sniffles, stopped-up nose, nothing big. Annoyances. Well, it got a little worse and I had to take Friday off. Saturday, my fiancee was going to the doctor's for a check-up, so I tagged along. I was getting worse and worse. By this point I was feverish and rather delusional. I couldn't make sense of things easily. Sitting on a train I heard a grown man moan and scream and I thought to myself, "I hope that isn't me." (It wasn't.)

Well, the nice Russkie doctor, she set me straight. Infection. Not too bad as far as they go, but really knocking me for a loop. Got me meds, got me on my way to recovery. I was amazed at how it had snuck in through what seemed like an everyday cold or allergy attack. But that's how it always happens. Infections are smart. They don't want to be caught.

That's how we got infected. That's how comics got infected. Little annoyances that didn't seem to be that big a deal. Mediocrities that were better than crap. This blog was started in order to point out that mediocrity wasn't going to cut it anymore. It was a few guys talking about what they liked, and throwing the rest in a pile of shit. But look at us. Reviewing anything and everything as if they all had equal credence. Writing for an audience. When I started, the audience for this blog WAS this blog. Other people started reading it and I think it affected all of us. We edited ourselves or added in some stuff that didn't need to be there. Worried about which pro's google search their names every day. We've gone from writing articles that entertain each other to writing message-board-style "question" posts.

Because there's so much crap out there. Four color malaise just washes over you and it's hard to give a shit when a stack of 20 comics has 3 books worth the word "Great." FUCK good. Good is easy, good is boring. I'm dropping comics left and right, comics that I might even enjoy a bit. But they are NOT ENOUGH. There ARE comics that are enough. There ARE great comics. But Brian's busy taking requests from whatever pathetic audience members we have; disgusted with the site, Alex quit; P-dot, Paul, Tadghgh, Tom and I rarely post (if at all).

So now I'm finally posting. Mind addled by medication and fever, but fueled with anger. Anger at ungreat comics. Anger at fans. Anger at my principal who apparently took my absence as a chance to sneak into my classroom and "clean things up." This is going to be a messy post and I apologize. But fuck that. Comics should be better. If they don't grab your heart, head, crotch, or some combination of the three then throw them away or give them to a kid. If they can't measure up to Amazing Joy Buzzards, the Goon, or Street Angel then screw 'em. If DC's making it and neither Morrison nor Diggle are involved, flush it. Demand more than the latest offering of titties and giggles. Demand Runaways and JLU for the kids AND for yourself. Goddammit!

The point of this is that I'm pissed off and this blog is as sick as I am. We need to remember why we're writing (to talk about comics we think are worth it and to entertain each other) and this newfound readership can either enjoy it or fuck off. Side effects of this antibiotic might include constipation or queasiness.


Blogger TCSmith said...

I agree with you 100%, Joe! I started coming here cause this was the place that was unafraid to say things that you can't find anywhwere else. I will mounrn the loss of Alex, as he was the main reason I came here. His post were always the most entertaining. It's too bad that this blog has become another nerdy messageboard.

3/14/2005 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Fuck you, TC! My posts were always even MORE entertaining than Alex's! Except for the Porn satire one, that was brilliant. And the puppy one. And the original rant on Rebirth. And . . .shit, you're right. Goddammit, I hate me.

3/14/2005 10:58:00 AM  
Blogger Spencer Carnage said...

This post is like arguing with your girlfriend about communicating. Instead of, you know, COMMUNICATING about the problem, you start arguing about your problems with COMMUNICATION. Just keep doing what you're doing, this is one of the best blogs out there. No more big posts about how things are going to change. Just change. Or don't. Either way, I'm hip to it.

But yeah, that puppy shit was hilarious.

3/14/2005 11:25:00 AM  
Blogger TCSmith said...

Joe, Joe, I didn't mean to hurt you! Damn, you're sensitive. I will continue to check out the genious postings of Joe Rice. Keep it going!

3/14/2005 11:45:00 AM  
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Hold me, TC. Hold me like you used to.

3/14/2005 12:01:00 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

I agree with Spencer, as much as I can agree with someone with the last name "Carnage."

Less talk, more rock.

We're what fucked the blog, so let's fuck it good from now on.

3/14/2005 01:09:00 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Actually, to be slightly less Carnagey, I think what happened to me is this:

‘twere a shame spiral! This blog’s crazy act was what actually got people looking at it. Then, when I realized people were looking at it, I kinda went, "Uh-oh, we're acting crazy and people are looking. I better act normal now." Then my blog ideas got so boring that I put myself to sleep. And I've been dozing fitfully ever since. I knew I had a responsibility to the blog, but I just kept on sleeping in my bed of shame. I blame my mother, but mothers of comic book fans are another post.

The point is that I don't want to be ashamed anymore. And I have something like 140 reports left to title my blogs after. I don't know what I'll do after I run out, but I'll just have to cross that bridge into unpretentiousness when I come to it.

Look for some exciting posts today and continuing on into the week.

3/14/2005 01:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


3/14/2005 03:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment in response to the original post is just to let people know that I realize that this comment in response to the original post isn't up to snuff. Let's face it, this comment in response to the original post, it's gotten a little bland, and I think that's because I realized that people were going to read it before I wrote it.

Enough of that. Future comments in response to the original posts will not be so concerned about the legions of people who are reading these comments in response to the original posts. A little bit of fame within comments to the original posts can make you say, "Whoa, what am I writing about here?" So you have to stop, take a deep breath, and really zero in on what it is you're trying to say in a comment in reponse to the original post. I blame it on the DayQuil I just sucked into my nasal cavity through a straw about three seconds before I started writing this comment in response to the original post.

Future comments in response to the original post will not be like this one, and instead will focus on content. Look for more exciting and adventurous comments in response to the original post in future comments in response to the original post.

3/14/2005 03:11:00 PM  
Blogger Joe Rice said...

Argh. It's bad enough being COMPLETELY slayed like that, but by someone sans Identity Balls? It's like getting your ass kicked by a dead puppy.

3/14/2005 03:15:00 PM  
Blogger Republic of Replicants said...

Great read.
I actually put more weight in the comments of a person who's not ashamed to tell it like it is.

Unless of course this is a ruse to let our guard down... just so you can convince us that Uncanny X-Men really is good...

3/14/2005 03:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



-dead puppy
eats babies

3/14/2005 03:53:00 PM  
Blogger Joe Rice said...

You are the worst puppy ever.

3/14/2005 03:56:00 PM  
Blogger alex said...

joe said

"We've gone from writing articles that entertain each other to writing message-board-style "question" posts."

whattya mean "we", paleface?


3/14/2005 09:40:00 PM  
Blogger Eliot Johnson said...

I boycotted your blog for a week after seeing the Grammar Police.

Also, I'm convinced at least three of you have sucked Grant Morrison's dick.

And you don't focus enough on indy books.

Other than that y'all are neato in my book.

3/14/2005 10:06:00 PM  
Blogger Brian Cronin said...

Good to see you post again, Joe!

I'm sorry to see Alex go.

3/14/2005 10:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog is fun, not boring. The Green Lantern person is wise, but I like the others too, more than well enough to keep coming back.

3/14/2005 11:40:00 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

I just started reading this blog recently. Just because it has to do with comics. I suppose, if I lost interest, I'd go read something else. I haven't lost interest yet, though.

I don't think all comics should be good. I think there should be good stuff out there that I want to read that I'm amazed by; that makes me stop scanning down the page and go back and go "Wow." But I think people should be allowed to like what they want.

I also wonder if the hordes of people buying the tits on page six don't in some way hold the door open for the rest of us. I don't know enough about the money side of comics to know how true that is.

I do know that for however many issues of crap some kid reads, I hope someone makes him read something good. Get him some good stuff, too.

If you guys can put a few good names out there that someone looks up, that compels someone to buy, you've done your part.

For my part, I'm going to go look up Amazing Joy Buzzards and Street Angel.

3/15/2005 06:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Brad Curran said...

"And you don't focus enough on indy books."

Or indie books, for that matter.

3/15/2005 05:51:00 PM  
Blogger The Grammar Police said...

Eliot Johnson, he loves Owly
But the problem is he smells so foully
He's a young comic nerd on an indie streak
Perhaps he's heard that makes you less of a geek
We all remember when we first left capes
Like a member of PE gave us real mix tapes
"Oh this is the best, superheroes are lame!"
You may as well tell us your name
No shit, DC sucks, but you got to try harder
To get mainstream works to go even farther
So remember who you are and where you came from
And what kinda rhymes you make, oh, yeah, that's none.

3/15/2005 08:40:00 PM  
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