Unnecessary Guide to Nextwave

Warren Ellis is basically not following any set continuity or anything like that with his new team book, Nextwave. However, what he IS doing is working off the basic continuity of each established character, so I think it might be slightly worthwhile to give a primer to the established characters Ellis is using, even though it is certainly unnecessary to one's enjoyment of Nextwave #1.

Here goes!

Monica Rambeau (Currently using the superhero name Pulsar, but when Nextwave began, she was going by Photon. She used to be known as Captain Marvel).

Monica was a lieutenant in the New Orleans harbor patrol who accidentally gained superpowers in this Amazing Spider-Man Annual.



Captain Marvel possesses the power to transform her body into any form of energy in the electromagnetic spectrum, from radio waves to x-rays and every wavelength in between, simply by willing it. By assuming an energy-form, she gains all of that energy. For instance, if she becomes light, she is blindingly bright. Some of her energy-forms permit her to pass trough solid objects. All of her energy-forms enable her to fly. In all energy-forms except visible light, she is invisible. The electromagnetic spectrum is compriside of cosmic-ray photons, gamma rays, x-rays, ultraviolet radiation, visible light, infrared radiation, microwaves, and radio waves.

Basically, she's super powerful.

Right after her introduction, she joined the Avengers as a member-in-training.



She served as a member for quite a long time (under the pen of her creator, Roger Stern).



Eventually, she even became LEADER of the Avengers!!



However, as relayed in an old Urban Legends Revealed, the editor of the Avengers decided that he wanted Captain Marvel out as leader, and also shown to be not that good of a leader, presumably to show how not EVERY hero can make a good leader (unlike Captain America).

So Monica was de-powered (she has since regained her powers) and sent off into limbo.

Besides a couple of trademark-saving specials, that is where she has remained.



Except, of course, for the time she showed up to give up the name Captain Marvel to the next Captain Marvel.



Monica at that point in time took the name Photon (she has since moved on to the name Pulsar). Currently, she has been working with her parents on a business in New Orleans. At least up until Next Wave.

Tabitha (Currently going without a codename - formerly went by names such as Boom Boom, Boomer and Meltdown)

Tabitha Smith is interesting, as she made her first appearance as a throwaway character in Secret Wars II!!

She then became one of the various mutants who hung out with X-Factor (like Rusty Collins and Skids).

After a few run-ins with X-Factor, she showed up in Fallen Angels under the name Boom Boom.



Her powers are as follows:

Meltdown can create balls of energy of an unknown kind, which she calls her "time bombs." These "bombs" explode with concussive force. She can produce marble-sized "bombs" which have little concussive impact and which she uses for playing pranks. She has produced "time bombs" ranging up to the size of beach balls, which, when they explode, can smash tree trunks and even metal objects. To at least some extent Meltdown can control the amount of time between the creation of one of her "bombs" and the time it detonates. She can also mentally muffle the sound of the detonation to a limited extent. The limits on her power to create and control her "time bombs" are as yet unknown.

She then went back to X-Factor, and eventually all the young mutants who X-Factor let hang around for their protection formed their OWN little group, called the X-Terminators.



Most of the X-Terminators (well, at least the older members) then ended up joining the New Mutants, Boom Boom being one of them.



She was one of the few members who stayed with the team when they became X-Force (although her former X-Terminator teammate Rictor also later joined X-Force, as well as her Fallen Angels comrade, Siryn).



She later changed her name to Boomer, while she was romantically involved with Sam Guthrie, her teammate, Cannonball.



Later, after a brutal shock to her system when, after caring for Sabretooth for months (after he was lobotomized), she learned that he was faking his injuries (or at least was faking them for a good period of time), and watched him not only escape from X-Men custody, but gut Psylocke when Psylocke prevented Sabretooth from murdering Tabitha. This event echoed Tabitha's past life with her abusive father, and the shock caused her to redo her look, and get a new name - Meltdown!



She was later a member of Warren Ellis' reworked X-Force team.



Besides a few cameos, that was her last signifcant appearance in comics.

Aaron Stark (Currently going with a codename - formerly went by names like Machine Man and X-51)

Aaron Stack first appeared in Jack Kirby's series, 2001: A Space Odyssey.



Soon, he gained his own 19-issue series from Marvel.



Basically, a team of scientists developed a series of robots. One of the scientists, a Dr. Able Stack, took number 51 home with him, and programmed him to basically be Able's son, Aaron Stack.

However, the robots mainly were lame, so they were ordered to self-destruct. Able managed to save Aaron, but he died in the process. In honor of his "father," X-51 tried to live a human life, and basically lived the life of an adventurer, while always one step ahead of the government.

He has arms and legs that can expand and stretch, with weapons that can come out of his hands. He is also super strong.

Here is a cool series dealing with an alternate universe. It does not really tie in, I just love this Barry Windsor-Smith cover...hehe.



Recently, Machine Man was seemingly destroyed by the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, but ended up surviving by merging with a dying SHIELD agent named Jack Kubrick (I know, I know).



That is basically the last anyone has heard from Machine Man until this series.

Elsa Bloodstone (Always has gone by her real name)]

Elsa's father was Ulysess Bloodstone (seen here)



He lived for 10,000 years, due to the alien gem that was embedded into his body, which gave him superhuman strength (about 5 tons) and vast regenerative powers.

He gained the gem from the alien who killed his tribe 10,000 years ago. He tracked down the alien for years, becoming a famous soldier of fortune and hunter in the meantime, often fighting monsters sent after him BY the alien.

Finally, he killed the alien, but also perished in the process.

A few years later, in the Bloodstone mini-series...



his daughter Elsa gained the Bloodstone gem, and as a result, has all the same powers her father had.



The final member of Nextwave is a new character named the Captain, who is supposed to represent all the minor characters named Captain _____ over the years.

Well, that's it! Hope some of y'all learned SOMEthing!

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It Is To Laugh for 1/27

Okay, I freely admit, this shtick is a bit mean, but whatever. Each week, I will pick one piece of comic book hyperbole that made me laugh in its silliness, and I will share it with you folks.

This week's winner?

Mark Millar, step right up!

"Mike Turner is the best superhero cover artist ever. It's that simple. He's the reincarnation of all the old Image guys for this generation and his covers just blow everything else off the shelves. And if he's any kind of man he'll send me the original of this piece for blowing him like this."

Yes, folks....Mike Turner is the best superhero cover artist.

Wow.

For the record, here is the cover he is referring to...



Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

It is to laugh.

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Pimpin' again

It's Friday, and that means there's a chance I have a new column up at Buzzscope. In fact, I do: Comics You Should Own: The ClanDestine! Go read about the Alan Davis goodness and why you should own these issues. Then go buy them!

Comic Book Urban Legends Revealed #35!

This is the thirty-fifth in a series of examinations of comic book urban legends and whether they are true or false. Click here for an archive of the previous thirty-four.

Let's begin!

COMIC URBAN LEGEND: Elliot S! Maggin's first comic book work was originally written for a college class.

STATUS: True

Awhile back, in this here space, I talked about Elliot S! Maggin's big breakout work in comics ("Must There Be a Superman?"). However, Maggin's FIRST comic work also has a very interesting pedigree.

Appearing in Green Lantern & Green Arrow #87 (which was also the first appearance of John Stewart!!!), Maggin's first story was a Green Arrow back-up story, illustrated by Neal Adams.



I will allow Maggin himself to explain the genesis of the story (from this interview with Jayme Lynn Blaschke):

"What Can One Man Do?" was a term paper at Brandeis. My junior year there I took an American history course that involved a section on mass media taught by a graduate student. I wanted to illustrate that comic books were useful as an ideological tool. I had read that comics in South America and elsewhere were used by governments and anti-government insurgent groups to make their cases through story narrative to their constituencies, and I thought that countries with lower literacy rates probably did not have a monopoly on the medium's effectiveness. So I chose Green Arrow because he was the most overtly politically aware of the popular characters of the time. I gave him a left-leaning personal crisis -- imposing pretty much my own political philosophy and my own speech patterns at the time (the latter were a bit quirky, even by the day's standards) -- and had that determine the direction of his public life. It was a simple story, but I particularly liked the little touches that I used to try to make it distinctive: quoting Hemingway (as Denny had quoted Mailer a few months earlier) and using a bit of contemporary jargon.

I got a B+ on the paper and thought I deserved an A. So I sent it to DC to make that point to my instructor. I did, as it happens, but the semester was over by the time I got my answer from Julie Schwartz and the publication never affected my grade. Not that I thought it would.

I wonder if anyone else's first two comic stories have that interesting of a background?

COMIC URBAN LEGEND: Wolverine's costume was patterned in part on the uniforms of the Michigan Wolverines football team.

STATUS: False

A few years back, a reader of Bob Rozakis' column asked the question, "Was Wolverine’s costume inspired by the University of Michigan football uniforms? If you look at the “flying wing” design on their helmets, it’s quite like the shape of his mask."

Bob did not have an answer, but to show what the reader was thinking, here are the Wolverines' helmets and Wolverine as he first appeared...





A little while later, another reader offered up, "Dunno about Wolverine's costume being inspired by the U Michigan football team's helmets, but either his yellow (or more properly, maize) and blue costume colors were inspired by the U Michigan's team colors being those and the team nickname being the Wolverines or else we've got a major ridiculous coincidence."

Here are their team colors...



Luckily, Bob had Len Wein ready with a reply, "Trust me, the U of M football team was in NO WAY an influence on the design of Wolverine's original costume. Since I stood at John Romita's shoulder as we designed it together, I can absolutely guarantee it. We were just looking for images that evoked a Wolverine, hence the black slash/stripes and the earlike black thingies that have evolved into huge earwings. Just thought you'd like to know."

So Wolverine and Tom Brady have one less thing in common now.

COMIC URBAN LEGEND: Ernie Chan had to be credited under a different name for years due to a typographical error.

STATUS: True

Since his debut on issue #26 in 1973, Ernesto "Ernie" Chan has inked more Conan pages than any other artist in comic history.



However, for a number of years, Chan was forced to go under a different name, all due to a typographical error.

Born in the Philippines in 1940, Chan worked in the Philippines comic industry, along such great Filipino artists as Alfredo Alcala, Tony DeZuniga, Nestor Redondo, Danny Bulandi, Romeo Tanghal, etc.

DeZuniga was one of the first Filipino artist to hit it big in America, so Chan came to America to apprentice with him in the very early 70s, and eventually Chan got work at DC Comics and then Marvel, eventually becoming the longtime inker on Conan.

However, as you might notice from the number of covers Chan did for DC in the mid-70s (and he did a LOT of them), he had an interesting credit - Ernie CHUA.



As Chan explained in a 1992 Marvel Age (#109) interview with Barry Dutter:

BD: Originally you worked under the name of Ernie Chua, is that correct?

EC: I started out using Ernie Chua as my name, because that is the name I had on my passport. I had to go by my legal name, for tax purposes and stuff like that.

BD: Is Chua your real name?

EC: No, that was a typographical error on my birth certificate that I had to use until I had a chance to change it to Chan when I got my citizenship in 1976.

BD: Now your name is legally Ernie Chan?

EC: That's my legal and true name, yes.

As you can see, those covers first started popping up in 1977, credited to Ernie CHAN.



According to Bob Rozakis, Chan told him the reason that the immigration officer did not just correct the typo was because he thought it would be better for Ernie, as "there are too many Chans in the U.S."

Pretty scary, eh?

Well, that's it for this week, thanks for stopping by!

Feel free to drop off any urban legends you'd like to see featured!!

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100 Days of Justice League Day 7: JL #6

Justice League #6
Story: Massacre in Gray
Plot & Breakdowns: Keith Giffen
Script: J.M. DeMatteis
Penciller: Kevin Maguire
Inker: Al Gordon
Letterer: Bob Lappan
Colorist: Gene D’Angelo
Editor: Andy Helfer

I think I’m starting to notice a trend. It seems like the more action one of these Justice League issues has, the less time I need to spend talking about what happened. Most of this issue is devoted to battle and not so much to plot development. There are a few points to consider though.

All of the wacky buildings in Stone Ridge, Vermont? They’re the original buildings that have been transformed by the “gray dreams” of those people whom the Gray Man and his “gray-selves” have robbed of their dream-essence. That doesn't really make much sense to me, but whatever. He’s incapacitated Captain Marvel and Doctor Fate and has them floating there in the local bijou while he rants and taunts them. What do Justice League villains like so much about the “floaty” thing? “Mwahaha! I’ve captured my enemies, so now I’m going to suspend them in mid-air and gloat!”


Meanwhile, the rest of the team is making their way into town, so the Gray Man sends a mind-controlled Captain Marvel to attack them.


The Martian Manhunter, being the next strongest, engages him. The rest of the team is tipped to the Gray Man’s whereabouts by the Creeper and they go into the theater where he ends up dispatching them with his other selves. All along though, Doctor Fate’s been sandbagging. Turns out he was trying to rehabilitate the Gray Man. When he faces facts and realizes the Gray Man is a lost cause, he makes the theater -- superheroes, villain and all -- disappear! The Manhunter with an unconscious Marvel heads back to League HQ.

There’s also a scene with Hal Jordan registering his disapproval with Maxwell Lord and his involvement with the League, particularly with regards to Guy Gardner and his place on the team roster. Get a load of that sweater. He’s the Green Yuppie!

So that’s pretty much it. It may not seem like much, but lemme tellya. DeMatteis did some brilliant work this issue. There’s some dialogue that crackles. I guess you could read the comic yourself, but what the hell. I’ll save you lazy bastards the trouble of digging through those long boxes.

The Batman…jokes?

Booster Gold: If we keep standing around out here in the open, he’s gonna be finding us pretty soon.

Batman: Good idea, Booster. We’ll stay right where we are and let him come to us.

Booster Gold: But I wasn’t suggesting—

Batman: I like the way you think. Keep up the good work.

Booster Gold: Was he kidding or what?

Black Canary: Well, I seem to remember him making a joke once. It was…let me see…four, no, five years ago. He’s about due for another…and that might’ve been it.

The Creeper obfuscates…

Batman: You showed up here before we did, Creeper, and I want to know why.

Creeper: Why?

Batman: Why.

Creeper: Why what?

Batman: Why did you show up here?

Creeper: Show up where?

Batman: You’re not going to tell me, are you?

Creeper: Tell you what?

Batman: Never mind.

Booster Gold and the Black Canary airborne…

Booster Gold: Uh, Canary, I’m not really up on everyone’s powers. You can fly, can’t you?

Black Canary: No.

Booster Gold: No?

Black Canary: No!!

Booster Gold: Oh.

The team regroups…

Blue Beetle: Everybody okay?

Booster Gold: My nerves are shot, but otherwise…

Zing!

Blue Beetle: It’s a basic rule of the trade that levity lightens a serious situation!

Black Canary: Is that why you wear that costume?

This Batman, This Nursemaid!

Mister Miracle: What about Marvel?

Batman: J’onn can handle it.

Booster Gold: You hope.

Batman: J’onn J’onzz has been at this game even longer than I have, Booster! He’s the only member of this team I don’t feel I have to nursemaid!”

Blue Beetle: Gee, whiz. That sure makes the rest of us feel good.

Batman: Spare us the jokes, Beetle.

Blue Beetle: I wasn’t joking.

The Martian Manhunter belts Captain Marvel…

Martian Manhunter: Captain Marvel?

Captain Marvel (whose head is imbedded in a brick wall): Uh-huh.

Martian Manhunter: Is it really you?

Captain Marvel (weakly): Uh-huh.

Martian Manhunter: I’m sorry. I was dazed. I didn’t notice the shift in minds at first. Did I hurt you?

Captain Marvel (fading into unconsciousness): Uh-huhhhh...

The Creeper appears on the theater marquee…

Creeper: Yoo-hooo!! Fellas! Over heeeeeeeere!!

Black Canary: What the hell are you doing up there?

Creeper: The “Watusi.”

Black Canary: Stay right there. I’m coming up to break your legs.

And those are some good examples of why this run was so great. I laughed out loud at all of those.

Next issue: Justice League International #7 -- Justice League International!

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What I bought - 25 January 2006

Let's see - a comic I can't imagine many people are buying continues to do its fine work, a comic I probably won't be buying soon annoys me, a comic with a long-running creative team ends on a weird and unsatisfying note, a comic that got a second chance at a different company ships its second issue, with the usual goodness and questions, one of the best comics on the market continues its cosmic wildness, another comic that is on the fence with me shows up in a different city, a comic about B-list superheroes rocks, a comic that should make a lot of people angry finally comes to an end, a mini-series that you should all be buying ships its penultimate issue (and I didn't read it), and a comic that disappointed me with a perplexing revelation and the return (yawn) of a crappy villain - what did I buy? Guess before you look!

Atomika #6 (of 12) by Andrew Dabb and Sal Abbinanti
$2.99, Mercury Comics
 
 
I'm still reading Atomika, even though it's technically a mini-series, because each issue, although it advances the storyline, does so slowly and with plenty of one-and-done goodness that people raised in the MTV-short-attention-span-1980s crave. Atomika goes east in this issue to fight Baba Yaga, and although he defeats her, he gets an unexpected gift from the battle that may bode ill for him in the future. We're up to 1980 now, so the alternate history of the USSR is coming to the present day, and I wonder if it too will fall short of its global goal. Atomika continues to be interesting because of its uncompromising look at our gods and what we do to create them and maintain them. It doesn't matter that these are Communist or Russian icons - the principle is the same in every culture. Atomika feels that he is growing irrelevant in the modern world, and with the end of this issue, he may have regained his focus. It's a fascinating read, and you might want to pick up the trade paperback of the first six issues when it comes out (which will be soon). Plus, the art is gorgeous.

Catwoman #51 by Will Pfeifer and Pete Woods
$2.50, DC
 
 
I mentioned this last issue - I really want to like Catwoman. I really do. The art is spectacular, Pfeifer has a nice handle on the characters, both the creators seem like swell guys - I want to support it. There just continues to be something missing. It don't got no zazzz!

Take this issue. Selina breaks into Wayne Manor to have a chat with Bruce about what she learned last issue. They both say all the things you would expect. Nothing really shocking or new there. Meanwhile, Black Mask kidnaps someone and tortures them. We're supposed to believe it's Holly, but really, no one's buying that. Could it be Slam Bradley, who is back in town? You think? Catwoman and Bradley's son end up crashing Roman's party (separately) and Selina learns his identity. The whole issue is just kind of ... there.

The nice thing is, next issue is the last one before the whole OYL thing. So I can buy it, see what happens, and decide then. I do not have high hopes.

Daredevil #81 by Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev
 
 
Um, is that it?

Don't get me wrong. I like that Bendis didn't feel the need to end his long and mostly excellent run with some apocalyptic issue that left nothing for Brubaker to work with. This feels like an old-school ending to someone's work on a title, where he just leaves with little fuss, as if in the middle of a story. Well, that's all well and good, but did it have to be such a weak issue? I mean, for the past few issues Bendis has been treading water, but this was just dumb. This almost makes me angry about the whole run. Matt goes to jail. Wilson Fisk gets arrested. That's all that happens. We don't see Urich, we don't see Milla (except in a stupid fantasy sequence in the middle), we don't much of Foggy - I just don't get it. Am I missing something? Is this much more subtle than my poor, Dr. Pepper-addled brain can see? I'm starting to think Bendis should have left the book when he had Matt go all "Kingpin" on Hell's Kitchen. Sigh. Occasionally I'll re-read Jinx. Bendis is a good writer, right? That's a good book. What the hell is he doing these days? I guess I'll see what Brubaker and Lark bring to the table. I know the art will be pretty.

Fallen Angel #2 by Peter David and J.K. Woodward
$3.99, IDW
 
 
I can understand why people don't read Fallen Angel or Peter David's work in general. He can be too clever for his own good (of course, so can this guy, but no one holds that against him) and he is enamored with long, meandering stories that test your patience. However, part of the reason I like him is because of those long stories - he makes each chapter of the story just fascinating enough that you want to come back, and usually the pay-off is well worth the wait. That's how it was for the first 18 issues of the DC series (the last two were okay, but not great), and that's how it appears to be now that the title has moved to IDW. Juris wants to kill Lee because she had her son and didn't tell him. Black Mariah shows up and we find out that she and Lee have buried the hatchet - but then we find out that Mariah is not all that she seems. Jubal, who thought he was Juris' firstborn, is a bit peeved about being pushed aside. And Jude shows up in Bete Noire looking for his mother. It's all very operatic.

David manages to keep all these balls in the air while still adding the tense showdown in the bar between Lee, who is very drunk and doesn't quite know what's going on, and Juris, who is quite pissed off and gets more so when Lee doesn't know what's going on. This remains a very interesting book and one that is worth the patience you approach it with.

Gødland #7 by Joe Casey and Tom Scioli
$2.95, Image
 
 
Ah, Gødland. Whenever I'm cranky about, say, a comic about incest and rape, I can always turn to Gødland to chase the blues away. The trade paperback of the first six issues came out yesterday, too, so do yourself a favor and pick it up. Would it really kill you?

Now, with issue #7, Adam begins to explore his abilities a little more, with the help of his big puppy friend Maxim, who instructs him how to stop a weird invasion from outer space. It's all very, well, you know, cosmic, and just when we think the nostalgia is too thick, Casey reminds us that we are living in a cynical age - not enough to depress us, but enough to make sure we remember that Adam has to deal with things that even Peter Parker at his most hated didn't. Meanwhile, the subplot with Discordia and her accident (I still won't give it away) continues to simmer, as Friedrich Nickelhead gets involved. It's not to difficult to imagine what he plans to do, since he's been carrying around Basil Cronus' head for a few issues, but we'll see. As usual with the best stuff, the glory of the book is in the details - who knew Basil got choked up at the end of Field of Dreams? Such a fun book. Go read it. Put down that Bendis monstrosity with Spider-Woman on the cover and read this!

Local #3 by Brian Wood and Ryan Kelly
$2.99, Oni Press
 
 
And then there's Local. I'm torn.

On the one hand, I like the stories. They are little slices of life, and I'm not terribly sure if the presence of Megan in all of them (which is kind of annoying) is supposed to tie them all together somehow, or if they are completely independent of each other. I suppose we'll find out at the end. This issue, about what band members do after the band breaks up, is pretty nice. It's a quiet look at people getting on with their lives and how they handle it. Nothing wrong with it.

On the other hand, there's something missing. I can't put my finger on it. I'm trying to, but I can't. The series doesn't excite me like it should. Am I being too opaque? I guess I could be, but there's just something missing. I read it, I appreciate the skill, I appreciate the art (although am I the only one who has noticed that everyone looks exactly the same?), I appreciate the message - but I'm not blown away. It's bugging me. Is Local like Allen Ginsberg? You know, we should all appreciate it, but no one really likes it? I don't know.

Nextwave #1 by Warren Ellis, Stuart Immonen, and Wade von Grawbadger
$2.99, Marvel
 
 
Isn't that cute? Warren can have some fun if he wants to!

And this comic is fun. Oh sure, I've mentioned before that every male Ellis writes is Spider Jerusalem and every female is Jenny Sparks, but the point about that is - if you drop those archetypes into a Marvel superhero comic, it's kind of fun. That's why The Captain telling Captain America his "real" name (I presume it's a naughty word beginning with "f" and ending with "uck" - and no, not "firetruck") and ending up in a dumpster with a bar of soap shoved in his mouth is funny. That's why Boom-Boom yelling "They all sucked!" about her codenames is funny, even though this characterization of Tabitha doesn't necessarily jive with the other ones. Who cares, right? These are bottom-barrel Marvel characters anyway, and if Ellis pisses off the "Boom-Boom Fan Club," tough shit.

As I said, this is a fun comic. Fin Fang Foom shows up, so you know it's fun. Everyone comments on the fact that he's wearing purple underpants, too, so you know it's fun. The concept of the book - that an organization called H.A.T.E. - Highest Anti-Terror Effort - is fighting terrorists but is really controlled by bad guys, so its top agents need to go rogue - is certainly fun. Dirk Anger, the director of H.A.T.E., is better at being Nick Fury than Fury himself. He gets the best line: "The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried." Beat. "In New Jersey!" Oh, the horror!

Now this is fun stuff. And it certainly won't kill you to buy the first issue. If you don't, the terrorists win.

Spider-Man and the Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do #1-6 by Kevin Smith and Terry and Rachel Dodson
$2.99, Marvel
 
 
Rape Is Bad.

That is all we get from six issues. Hey, guess what? Rape is bad. And guess what? Incestuous rape is even worse.

Blech. Rape as a plot point is a delicate issue, and it has to be handled carefully. In this series, it is not handled carefully. All Smith wants to do with this entire series is tell us that rape is bad. If we didn't already know that, we're not going to learn it from a comic book. This is a completely misguided series, because this is the kind of thing that should not be done in a mainstream superhero title. Yes, I'm belittling mainstream superhero comics. "Come on, Greg!" the masses cry. "Comics are a serious art form." Well, sure. But mainstream superhero books aren't really the place for them to be serious. By their very nature, they aren't really that serious. At any point, Peter Parker dressed as a spider could show up, and then everything gets goofy (and I love Spider-Man, by the way). This is fine for the most part - superhero comics can address plenty of "real-world" issues, including rape - but as I pointed out, it has to be handled well. It's not here. Blech.

Finally, if any writer brings Joey Q. or any other Marvel editor any story involving a woman on the Queensboro Bridge ever again, Joey Q. should go at that writer with a blowtorch and a pair of pliers. Dear Lord, spare us from that crap! Please!!!

Oh well. This is just a dull, ugly, nasty, pointless exercise in giving a fun character a stupid motivation. Did no one learn anything from Identity Crisis?

Oh. I liked the ending. The very end, that is. We'll see if anything comes of it.

The Surrogates #4 (of 5) by Robert Venditti and Brett Weldele
$2.95, Top Shelf
 
 
So I didn't read it because it's the middle of a mini-series. You should still buy it, though. It's been good so far, so why would it go in the tank now? WHY?

Next issue I'll tell you about the whole series and why it's good. Trust me.

X-Men #181 by Peter Milligan, Roger Cruz, and Victor Olazaba with Don Hillsman III
$2.50, Marvel
 
 
This was the first Milligan X-Men issue that I was really disappointed with. He's had some weaker ones, but this one bugged me pretty much from start to finish. First, the art. I mentioned last time that Cruz has gotten better since his mid-1990s heyday of hackery. Well, in this issue he reverts to that. Seriously. This looks like something from 1995, and that ain't good, let me tell you.

But I can live with it. He's only a fill-in, after all. What disappointed me was the big reveal of Doop, which is what Lorna saw in outer space. I'm not entirely sure, but I would think that since he and Logan hung out for a while, Alex might know who he is. Maybe not. The whole thing with Lorna understanding him and Alex not and Doop reacting unfavorably to Alex using his powers is a bit weird. I know, it's Milligan, so it's supposed to be, but it's not weird in a good way. Then we have Apocalypse. Gawd, I hate Apocalypse. If I'm a reasonably intelligent writer of the X-Men (that time will come soon, I swear!), I'm not sitting around thinking, "Wow, Apocalypse is cool - let's use him!" Was this forced on Milligan by the editors? I'd like to think so. What would have been really cool is if Apocalypse woke up, but was one of the mutants without powers. That would have been interesting. Anyway, the Leper Queen gets involved with Alex and Lorna, and bad things happen with her. She's an interesting character, but I wonder if she'll be disappointing when we actually find out her whole story. Milligan does well with these off-kilter characters, though, so I have hope for her. And Mystique returns to the mansion with her stud bull for Rogue. That scene is the worst part of the issue. It's just dumb. Remy standing around shouting, Scott being stupid (does he have any other characteristics?), and Mystique admitting to all that she wants this guy (Augustus, his name is) to hook up with Rogue - yeah, that's a good way to get her to on your side! Just dumb.

So. I guess I'm a sucker. I will think long and hard about continuing with my purchase of this title. One issue shouldn't kill it, but I just have a feeling this book is not going the way of quality comic literature. Larroca's back next month, and I'll take a look. I want to like this. I really do. That's the theme of this week's purchases - books I want to like but can't bring myself to. Oh, the travails of a comic-book-buying nerd!

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