Sunday, May 14, 2006

Exactly what happens when you experience a time-mind sync-warp?

I teased you with the worst experience you can ever ... uh ... experience, and you demanded to know what happens next (by "you" I mean commenter Doug M.). So, enter the world of the time-mind sync-warp ... if you dare!!!!!

As "Anonymous" pointed out, first, Drax will "be assaulted by fists of shattered illusions and broken promises!"

Man, that's gotta suck.

But that's just the beginning! Sinister ghosts of past deeds and grim threatening spectres of future evils will then menace you! And you'll be forced to relive over and over that time you dressed up as Carmen Miranda and pranced around the bedroom singing "I'm A Little Teapot" just to see what it would feel like!
Mind Warp 1

If you think the tough part is over, you're a fool! Not only will Thanos swallow you, but then he will create your prison, "and your prison is MADNESS!"
Mind Warp 2

Luckily, it can't get much worse, can it? Well, only if you think this is better!
Mind Warp 3
Remember: this story came out when Grant Morrison still thought "Sesame Street" was cutting-edge! Is this the weirdest page Marvel has ever published?

All this almost wipes out the psyche of Drax the Destroyer. Think of what it would do to your puny minds!


What have we learned? Don't piss off Thanos, obviously. And was Stan Lee just walking around the Bullpen handing out tabs of LSD? Now that's a workplace!

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40 Comments:

Blogger T. said...

That's some insanely awesome dialogue. Did Thanos recent series have that kind of dialogue, because if so I'm going to have to go searching for it.

5/15/2006 12:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Fraid not, T. Mostly he spends the first arc snarking at anyone and everything. The last line in issue #6 is pretty good and takes the mickey out of any cries of "Face turn," however:

"One must not get too carried away with this 'Doing the right thing' fatuousness."

Other than that, the first six issues are a pretty passable cosmic story in the Starlin vein with some pretty clever turns.

The Giffen stuff turned me off after 2 issues worth.

Trippiest panel ever? Uhm, it's close. Keep in mind you're talking about an arc where Mar-Vell gets lectured about how bad war is by a giant tree with a big eyeball and attacked by his dead girlfriend.

For which he gets to go blonde. Yeah.

My vote for trippiest sequence has to be the "clown issue" of Warlock, though.

Jim Starlin nailed to a cross and being hit with cream pies. And that's how it starts.

I've said it before and will again: Man, Jim Starlin.

5/15/2006 01:08:00 AM  
Anonymous JR said...

WOW.


Who do I have to bribe to get a poster of that page?!? That's just pure awesome in a can (or at least on a page). I need to find more seventies Starlin stuff, I've only a few scant issues here and there.

5/15/2006 02:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhhh. Thank you, Greg.

Here's the funny thing: I don't remember the first pages of that sequence. But I /totally/ remember the last one. Right down to the lizard-thing climbing into a hole in one panel and out of the hole several panels previous.

And that's after, what, thirty years?

N.B., Starlin was not always that good. In fact, most Starlin after the mid-'80s is pretty awful.

But when he had it, he had it.


Doug M.

5/15/2006 05:33:00 AM  
Blogger T. said...

I grew up on the Infinity Gauntlet Thanos, who's pretty much a by-the-book villain. But if they had a series dedicated to this insane ranting guy that constantly brags about how awesome he is while kicking people's asses with psychadelics it'd be an awesome hit!

5/15/2006 06:04:00 AM  
Blogger Sleestak said...

Could Starlin draw Orgasmic Ditko Faces or what?

5/15/2006 07:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Iron Lungfish said...

That is some prime Starlin right there.

5/15/2006 07:56:00 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

JR: This is from "The Life & Death of Captain Marvel," which should be at all fine comic book stores everywhere. I collects Captain Marvel #25-34, an Iron Man issue and a Marvel Feature issue, and the Death of Captain Marvel graphic novel, which came out ten years later and features rougher and a little better Starlin art. It really is a magnificent piece of groovy comics goodness and can be yours for $25 (or less, I suppose, if you can find a bargain).

5/15/2006 10:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Jon H said...

Man, you don't see colors like that anymore. I'll take that over the dark, smudgy-looking "realistic" art you see a lot these days.

5/15/2006 10:26:00 AM  
Blogger Chris Arndt said...

So Drax was attacked by/with the Outer Limits....

Please Stand By?

5/15/2006 10:53:00 PM  
Anonymous JR said...

Thanks for pointing that out to me Greg! Amazon seems to have it for 15 and change, but I'll do some local browsing too.

5/16/2006 02:58:00 PM  
Anonymous chroom said...

I just got this book (for free!) a couple of weeks ago, and I must say that while it is indeed trippy freaky Starlin goodness, it's best to take it in small doses.

My sad little mind is still crying just a little from all the crazy.

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