Outrageous Retcon of a Beloved Comic Character's Origin!
Thanks to Brad Curran for letting me know about this outrage. Now, I'd like to think that I am a reasonable enough of a fellow, and I won't fly off the handle at an innocuous change to a character's origin. But this is just too much. TOO MUCH, I say. The creators involved clearly have NO respect for the character's origin. NONE, I say! Now, before you click on the "Read More," please prepare yourself for a real shock to your system.
The year was 1971.
We should all have been prepared for it, but we weren't.
The cover of Amazing Spider-Man #94 mentions the re-telling of the origin, but it cannot even BEGIN to prepare us for the disrespect about to be heaped upon the Amazing Spider-Man, one of the most beloved superhero characters ever!
Right off the bat, there is a problem. The spider bite occurs the same, but LOOK at Peter Parker!
THIS is how Peter Parker is supposed to look - a normal, geeky looking guy.
Look at how they retconned Peter into looking like!
He's practically a jock!!
Next, Amazing Spider-Man #94 introduces a fight that NEVER happened in the original version!
And the fight makes no sense! Think of Spider-Man's secret identity!!
Luckily, the new version follows the original with the jumping in the air part.
Original...
New version...
However, right after that, the original version says...
The new version?
THEY RET-CONNED CRUSER HOGAN OUT OF THE COMIC!
Can you believe it?
One of the most important figures in Spider-Man history, and he doesn't even appear in Spider-Man's origin?!?!
Next problem is Spider-Man's costume.
The original version made sense. First Spider-Man created the costume, THEN he invented the webspinners.
In the new version?
LUNACY!
Webspinners THEN costume!
WHY ARE THEY DOING SO MANY RIDICULOUS RETCONS?!?!
The next disaster is the encounter between Spider-Man and the robber.
In the original, it makes perfect sense - Spider-Man meets the robber as he's leaving after a TV special (which has been perfectly set up by his wrestling victory).
The new, disrespectful version?
It makes NO sense!
Spider-Man meets the robber as he's ENTERING the TV station! ENTERING?!?! Do they think we're morons or something!?!? And without the wrestling scenes, we have no idea HOW Spider-Man even GOT a TV special!!! OUTRAGE!!
The final outrage is Spider-Man's confrontation with the robber.
Here's the logical, original version.
Now, here's the over-the-top retconned version...
I feel like plucking my eyes out and setting them on fire, with the outrage I have at the changes these HACKS made!!
TOTAL disrespect for the characters.
Who WERE these hacks?
#94...let's see the credits....
Stan Lee and John Romita?
It FIGURES.
Marvel Editors in Chief always have a way of screwing Spider-Man over.
I smell an online petition a-brewing!!
The year was 1971.
We should all have been prepared for it, but we weren't.
The cover of Amazing Spider-Man #94 mentions the re-telling of the origin, but it cannot even BEGIN to prepare us for the disrespect about to be heaped upon the Amazing Spider-Man, one of the most beloved superhero characters ever!
Right off the bat, there is a problem. The spider bite occurs the same, but LOOK at Peter Parker!
THIS is how Peter Parker is supposed to look - a normal, geeky looking guy.
Look at how they retconned Peter into looking like!
He's practically a jock!!
Next, Amazing Spider-Man #94 introduces a fight that NEVER happened in the original version!
And the fight makes no sense! Think of Spider-Man's secret identity!!
Luckily, the new version follows the original with the jumping in the air part.
Original...
New version...
However, right after that, the original version says...
The new version?
THEY RET-CONNED CRUSER HOGAN OUT OF THE COMIC!
Can you believe it?
One of the most important figures in Spider-Man history, and he doesn't even appear in Spider-Man's origin?!?!
Next problem is Spider-Man's costume.
The original version made sense. First Spider-Man created the costume, THEN he invented the webspinners.
In the new version?
LUNACY!
Webspinners THEN costume!
WHY ARE THEY DOING SO MANY RIDICULOUS RETCONS?!?!
The next disaster is the encounter between Spider-Man and the robber.
In the original, it makes perfect sense - Spider-Man meets the robber as he's leaving after a TV special (which has been perfectly set up by his wrestling victory).
The new, disrespectful version?
It makes NO sense!
Spider-Man meets the robber as he's ENTERING the TV station! ENTERING?!?! Do they think we're morons or something!?!? And without the wrestling scenes, we have no idea HOW Spider-Man even GOT a TV special!!! OUTRAGE!!
The final outrage is Spider-Man's confrontation with the robber.
Here's the logical, original version.
Now, here's the over-the-top retconned version...
I feel like plucking my eyes out and setting them on fire, with the outrage I have at the changes these HACKS made!!
TOTAL disrespect for the characters.
Who WERE these hacks?
#94...let's see the credits....
Stan Lee and John Romita?
It FIGURES.
Marvel Editors in Chief always have a way of screwing Spider-Man over.
I smell an online petition a-brewing!!
posted by Brian Cronin at 4/30/2006 06:36:00 AM
21 Comments:
Yeah, and they totally left out the Totem Spider God!
Ya know, it just fucking figures. Those creators don't give a damn about the legacy of the characters. Why, if I were writing Spider-Man...
Jesus Q. CRIPES, Aunt May!
Is there ANYONE who hasn't "menaced" you in the Marvel Universe?
"IT'S TRUE! IT'S TRUE! IT'S SO FUCKING TRUE YOU'LL SHIT BLOOD FOR A MONTH AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL LOOK LIKE GERRY CONWAY!
"STEVE HOPKINS KIDNAPS AUNT FUCKING MAY! AIEEEEEEE!"
Next Issue: The WEDDING OF AUNT MAY!
"My One-Time Colleague In The ESU Postgraduate Programme (plus that Human Torch/Thor Team-Up with the guy, you know, with the arm?) - - MY UNCLE?!?!
Suddenly, Jarvis seems so ineveitable, don't you think?
...has she called him by his first name yet, or is it still all about the sub-dom relationship (she's the dom)?
//\Oo/\\
Matthew: Yeah, in the most recent issue of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, May calls him jarvis, then apologizes and says Edwin.
Then she asks if he prefers Ed or Eddie. Jarvis mentions no one has called him that, and that both options sound very American. Also that Eddie sounds like a cocker spaniel name.
So they stick to calling him Jarvis.
Why change the origin? In fact, why not just put the original in the comic, as it was, for all the kids to see?
Gasp! You left out the most shocking example!
In the panel from the original version of Peter inventing the webshooters clearly states: "I'll need a name. --well guess Spiderman is as good as any!
Spiderman.
Do you see it? Do you??!!
THE HYPEN WAS A RETCON!!!
...world collapsing...
Actually, the thing that I always found amusing was in the retelling of Spidey's origin in Amazing Spider-Man #1. When they talk about Uncle Ben's death, he says "But while I was busy showing off, an armed burglar fired one fatal shot at uncle Ben when he was surprised robbing our house!"* Peter is upset because "Uncle Ben is Dead! And all because I was too late to save him!"
See, the retconned the origin one issue into the series. It wasn't that he let the burglar go who later killed Ben, it's that he was showing off and too busy to help when he was needed. I always thought that was pretty funny. I wonder how long into the series they put back in the "real" origin with him letting the crook go.
(* leaving aside for a moment the grammar, which may imply that Ben was shot while robbing their house.)
Yeah, Romita has spoken in the past about how Stan kept telling him to make Peter look less good-looking, but Romita just couldn't do it.
Because he, you know, has no respect for the character!!!
But... but all those issues, they're meaningless now! What about all the money, time, and over obsessive interest I put into the character??!!
Seriously though, I'm not sure what I find funnier, the false indignation here or the geniune indignation I've seen in response to it elsewhere.
Best re-con ever? And I say this totally seriously...Phil Foglio making Stanley's monster a demon from Hell. It does the three things a ret-con should do: give it a more modern context, address a logical issue that the original left out (instead of change for change's sake: see BYRNE) and keeps the spirit of and respect for the original.
Worst idea? Kevin Smith's Stanley and his Monster.
More'n likely, Stan excised as much of Ditko's input as he possibly could. Web fluid before the costume? Hey, the costume (the art, see?) was just an afterthought.
They worked the steel pole bashing thing into the spiderman-manga as well.
The one where he's japanese, not the new colour mangaverse thing.
it's all so confusing
Oddly enough, the issue 94 origin is pretty much the one from the 1960s cartoon series (no Crusher, punching the street light after a fight starts, etc), meaning Stan probably adapted it for that audience. Just like today's comics being retrofitted to match the movies.
The whole time I was reading these scans, I still thought the "new" origin was worlds better than _Ultimate Spider-Man version.
Reading this new origin felt like watching the holocaust happen and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Let's file a class action lawsuit against the creators.
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