Wednesday, March 30, 2005

DC Countdown to Infinite Crisis Spoilers – Four Angry Bulls

I was all prepared to tell you all how bad DC Countdown to Infinite Crisis was, as both an individual comic book and a philosophical statement.

I was going to tell you about how I thought it was ham-handed because of the lack of subtlety regarding the book’s main topic, “how Blue Beetle is a loser.” I was going to mention that the book references his loserdom literally EIGHTEEN times (and yes, I did count…hehe).

I was going to mock the unoriginality of making Maxwell Lord a villain. I was going to point out that it has been done already, by Gerry Jones during his equally unimaginative run on JLA (I say unimaginative because of the fact that making Maxwell Lord a villain is right up there with making Henry Gyrich a villain. Really? The officious guy…he’s a BAD guy? No way! I’m astonished!).

I was going to mock the unoriginality of centering the story on a second-tier character just to kill them off so as to launch a bigger storyline, which was JUST done in Identity Crisis!

I was then going to go on about how amazed I was by the ability of Dan Didio, Geoff Johns, Greg Rucka and Judd Winick to refer to the book (in Dan Didio’s afterward) as a “throwback to yesterday.”

I was going to express amusement at the idea that this comic was a result of the four of them discussing “what got us hooked on comics in the first place, high-octane action, bigger-than-life adventure, inconceivable villains, and the greatest heroes overcoming impossible odds.” Especially the last bit. I was going to have great fun pointing out how having a superhero get shot in the head was not exactly a great example of the greatest heroes overcoming impossible odds.

I was going to marvel at the consistency the four of them have of reading classic comics and trying to duplicate them, but managing to take out only the stuff that was not why the comics were classics in the first place.

I was going to mark my astonishment at their unflappable ability to completely miss the point.

I was going to compare them to a group of monkeys, and say that, given flashcards with “the point” written on them, monkeys choosing randomly would have a better shot at getting the point than would these four men.

I was going to quote some incredibly on-point lines that Mark Waid wrote, as supplied by my pal Peter, from a foreword to Underworld Unleashed.

Stuff like:
Probably the single strongest creative motive governing comics over the last ten years has been embarrassment.

You know it. You've seen its ruinous effects.

Knuckle-headed well-intended creators, ashamed of corny old characters, have been -- for most of a decade -- dragging half-forgotten heroes and villains kicking and screaming into their own little hardware store of creativity. There, haunted by a guilty fear that these ancient superdoers aren't kewl enough for a generation of videogame-enhanced readers, said knuckle-headed creators graft big guns and armoured suits and homicidal personalities and grotesque deformities onto these poor costumed naifs and thus fool themselves into thinking they're doing them a good turn by bludgeoning all the innocent charm and colourful individuality out of them.
And
I had all the answers. Full of arrogance, I went trawling back through the DC archives for cannon fodder...

...reread the comics of my youth...

...and gradually, like the Grinch who heard the carol of the Whos, my heart grew three sizes that day.

What had gotten into me? Had I been possessed? Crazy Quilt. Atomic Skull. Trickster. Without half thinking about it, I knew I loved these guys every bit as much today as I had when I was eleven.

Mr. Freeze. Psycho Pirate. Killer Moth.

Okay, maybe not Killer Moth. But besides him, none of DC's villains needed the benefit of any ham-handed, arrogant "fixing". Sure, many of them were a little old-fashioned, a little quaint, but they were certainly more clever and inventive than most if not all of my own creations.

And while some of them could stand a good makeover to make them more contemporary, the trick wasn't to make them Grim and Gritty (TM), it wasn't to capriciously change them into something they weren't. The secret was to help them realize a new potential while at the same time keeping true to their origins.
And
All-in-all, with the assistance of Howard (Porter), Brian, and Inkers Dennis Janke, John Nyberg and Dan Green, I got even more out of UNDERWORLD UNLEASHED than I invested in it. Not only did they make it look terrific, but their efforts proved to me once and for all that our characters, from the most noble to the most villainous, are best served with regard, not condescension. Within each of them is a gem of creativity that must be polished and even cherished.

To treat them in any other manner would be the world of the Devil himself.
I was going to point out how Countdown to Infinite Crisis is a perfect example of what Waid is talking about, about letting shame and condescension be the building blocks of the writers who are essentially the stewards of the DC Universe.

Yes, I was going to do all this, but then something happened. My pal Brad said something that really struck me. He told me “You’re not going to write another one of those ‘DC is awful’ pieces that everyone is doing, are you?”

It then occurred to me, this really was a bit of a waste of time, wasn’t it?

Didio, Johns, Rucka, Winick…the four of them. They are so blinded by the fact that they think what they are doing is righteous, that it is a waste to try to demonstrate otherwise.

So I then found this quote from Thomas Jefferson, and I thought it was so applicable here.
In the fevered state of our country, no good can ever result from any attempt to set one of these fiery zealots to rights, either in fact or principle. They are determined as to the facts they will believe, and the opinions on which they will act. Get by them, therefore, as you would by an angry bull; it is not for a man of sense to dispute the road with such an animal.
Dan Didio

Geoff Johns

Greg Rucka

Judd Winick

They are four angry bulls, and it is not for us to dispute the road they travel.

And it’s a real shame, too, for DC Countdown to Infinite Crisis truly is a result of what happens when you get four angry bulls together in one area.

A load of bullshit.

18 Comments:

Blogger Greg said...

I would be remiss if I didn't write that I was going to SPOIL THE ENDING, but this means that the next time I read JLA: Classified, TWO characters will already be dead. God, I didn't even buy this book and I hate it.

3/30/2005 05:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brian, I will say that while you certainly make some valid points, I do not think that DC Countdown is nearly the suckfest that you paint it out to be. I will agree that the continued Blue Beetle bashing throughout the issue is very tiring and not completely accurate as to how I feel that superhero characters, especially ones that once held rank in teams, would react to one another. What pisses me off about killing a character like Beetle is that the writers always make them more interesting then they have been in quite some time right before they kill them off. I will also agree that making Maxwell Lord a villain is not incredibly inventive, nor is it of any risk to take a fourth tier character- a la Sue Dibney- and try and make their existence substantial by altering them or killing them off.

That said, I didn't think the book was the absolute worst thing I read. It is a far cry from great, but all it's meant to be is a set-up for future storylines in other books. It's a crossover book and those are really never that good anyway. I'm not a big fan of crossovers, but for a buck I thought I'd buy the issue. It's pretty much what I expected and it cost less than half of many of the super crappy monthly titles out there. The storyline is one that I read and kind of shrug off as nothing interesting, but nothing harmful either.

It seems to me that you, along with other members that post on this board, are trying to capture the feeling comics gave you way back when. That feeling will NEVER happen again. Comics have changed over the years in addition to you growing and maturing. There are plenty of good books out there to read. If you aren't happy with a title, then don't read it- simple as that. Sure, there will be some titles we expect to be good and are then disappointed when they turn out to suck (the current run of the Hulk springs to mind). I buy my share of things that aren't the greatest because something in them attracts me to the book whether it be the writer or character. Too many people on this board seem so unhappy with the state of comics as they exist today. My advice would be to either enjoy the crap, stop buying for a few years, or just buy what you enjoy. Always good to be able to debate these issues.

A side not to greg's posting on this topic. Shame on you for hating this book without even reading it for yourself and making up your mind.

Thanks for allowing me to vent, guys. I hope you all enjoy this week and all it has to offer.

3/30/2005 06:17:00 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Yeah, GreyGlobe got me there. I did flip through it slowly, until I got the feeling some grouchy old man would appear and ask me if I thought I was at the library. So I got the gist of it. But you're right - I have no leg to stand on. But I'm reasonably sure it sucks - the lack of originality is what bugs me. It's all been done - yes, you can say that about most comics, but occasionally the execution outweighs the ideas, and this, from what I read, was not one of those times.

I am ashamed. Seppuku will commence in the public square. Spare my wife and child!

3/30/2005 06:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure what greyglobe is going on here about: "My advice would be to enjoy the crap." Ah, no. I paid for Countdown, and I see nothing wrong with Brian's complaining about it.
It was terrible.
And I do agree with the "Four Angry Bulls" comparison.
Thank you Brian.

3/30/2005 08:22:00 PM  
Blogger Julio Oliveira said...

I would think that since they wanted to do the same things that were done to death again and again, the least they would do is do it in a better, more creative way. But no, they must do in the worst possible way and call a epic while at it. I think they really are doing it to make the fanboys angry, so they scream and shout so that the unwashed masses HAVE to buy to at least know what this is all about. That said, I think is a shame they all those things to the second thiers characters: it's is alway the women, the fat, the disabled, the old or the comic relief that get offed, not one from the main franchises.

Also, I hate to sound like a aging fanboy, but every day that passes I wish they made a special line of comics that tried not reproduce the grim and gritty reality, but reproduce the innocence of the comics I ready as a child (like Giffen's JLA).

Though it will probably will be a nice consolation prize, the All-Stars line is not the same thing. I mean, even with Grant Morrison writing, I hope they don't exume storylines like the ones on the covers displayed on www.superdickery.com. I'm not THAT old.

3/30/2005 10:05:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I thot it was worth $1. I'll cite two specific reasons. I don't have my book on me (already lent it to a friend), so my quotes will be imperfect.

About Superman: "He makes you feel insignificant and important at the same time." In so few words, I felt the power of Superman, the franchise. I don't read any current Superman books so I've never seen him compressed down to such a simple statement.

The other bit was about Wonder Woman. I don't remember any of the specific lines, but it helped me form the character of WW in my mind. I've been thinking about her recently. The movie announcement had me get all thoughtful about the Rucka run and how I didn't feel like I had a good idea of who WW was. I loved the "Stoned" story, but it was more about plot than character (WW's character, at least). So the brief discussion that Blue Beetle has with WW on the moon was fascinating to me. She was so caring, in a "everyone is special" sorta, New Testement God kinda way. I really liked it.

As for the rest.. i'm new to comics so I don't really care that DCU is getting darker.

3/30/2005 10:20:00 PM  
Blogger obsolete said...

Where did this "I can't pass up 80 pages for a dollar" mentality spring from?

What? Why not?

Cosmo is 200 pages for 2 bucks. Can you pass that up? Why not? You like other magazines.

I'll grab a ream of copy paper from my office and sell it to you for six cents (plus postage), if you can't pass it up. You seem to like paper.

No, you won't do either of those because you're discerning. Because you have taste, and because you have the ability to choose. (Not that cosmo is a bad magazine - I haven't the foggiest - I just picked something with a high page count/low price that I don't imagine too many people here read.)

So what makes a comic book at a good price impossible to pass up? What would they have to put on the pages? Smooshed up insects? Poo stink?

I don't like anything I've heard about the book, and thus I'm not even going to peep behind its cover when I'm in the shop. Not even to see how offended I am at gaping headwounds in a mainstream DC comic.

I only wound up with a copy of "The Batman 10-Cent Adventure" because the dude stuck it in my bag for free without me noticing. It was so ass-tastic that I don't think I even bothered finishing it. I don't remember any "adventure," anyway.

Based on the preview pages of "Countdown" I've seen on the net, this doesn't appeal to me, either. So, unless it gets stuck into my bag for free without my knowledge, I think I'll be able to pass it up. As anyone else should be able to.

Now, if you're buying it because you think you'll like it, that's a different story. You've probably got bad taste, but at least you're not buying something mindlessly.

Some other comments:

"It seems to me that you, along with other members that post on this board, are trying to capture the feeling comics gave you way back when. That feeling will NEVER happen again."

I don't know how to put this any other way, but you're dead wrong. It happens quite a lot. There's a lot of amazing comics out there that DO make me feel like I did when I was a kid. It's just that the vast majority of those aren't put out by Marvel or DC anymore. And, I won't speak for any of the bloggers here, but I think that's a shame. Most of my favorite characters are DC characters. "New Frontier," "Plastic Man," "7 Soldiers" and others lead me to believe that that feeling CAN be recaptured, again and again. I'm sorry if you don't feel the magic anymore, but please restrict your negativity to yourself.

"I have to say that I'm going in with very low expectations and very little ill will towards the guys who wrote the book, so it will take a mighty bad comic for me to hate it."

I don't think Cronin has any ill will towards the creators. I can't answer that for him, but I see myself agreeing with his assessment (were I to read this stinker) and I know I don't have any ill will for them.

I think Johns and Rucka are actually decent writers, and I'm almost positive that they're exceptionally decent people. I just think they're completely dunder-headed when it comes to the DCU. I wish they would write to their strengths. Winnick I'm sure is a nice guy, but he's never written anything I've enjoyed. His work I find eye-rollingly bad. Super-heroes or anything else. I just do not enjoy him. But I don't harbor any ill-will to him or any of the other creators.

About Superman:

"He makes you feel insignificant and important at the same time."

Maybe I'm missing the context, but can somebody please explain to me what the crap this means? It's not Superman that makes you feel ambivalent, it's your own ass that handles that. Sorry, Tim, I'm not buying that hogwash. It's more empty, masturbatory rhetoric along the lines of the "Kyle is like Barry and Wally is like Hal" classic from Identity Crisis.

If that's how you feel about Superman, I do sincerely feel sorry for you, brother, because you're as confused as whoever wrote it.

And then this beaute:

"i'm new to comics so I don't really care that DCU is getting darker."

I'm old to comics, and the truth is, I wouldn't really care if the DCU got darker or not either if the people making this rubbish had the first clue on how to do a dark DCU well. They don't.

That said, they don't know how to do light stuff well, either, so what we're left with is darkness for its own sake. And that doesn't make fiction in any medium any better.

Unless you're a teenager. Or you've got arrested development.

3/31/2005 01:27:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

paul,

Lander's review at 4thrail has the correct quote regarding Superman, I think:

"He makes you feel useless and important at the same time"

Maybe you can parse that one better, but for me it's exactly what I think about Superman. It's similiar to sentiments I first read in Kingdom Come. Superman can make you feel useless because he can do everything you can do, better. But because of his character, he can make you feel important because he's an inspiring figure saying, "You can do it."

In his review, Lander didn't understand the line. It couldn't have been more plain to me.

How do you feel about Superman, Paul?

The other thing about me not caring about the darkening DCU translates to this: I have ZERO feelings about JLI(?) and the idea of massive head wound beetle, stripped of any context, does not offend me. There is no nostalgia informing my opinions. That's all i was saying. The discussions around these latest DC events seem to very much be related to DC nostalgia.

3/31/2005 04:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Where did this "I can't pass up 80 pages for a dollar" mentality spring from?"

I'm willing to at least give a comic a try if you're selling a dollar. Well, probably not your smushed bug and shit scented comic, but just about. But I don't feel like it was a waste, even if the story left me cold. What can I say? I am powerless at the sight of cheap comics. If I had more access to them (there are no quarter bins in South Texas) maybe I wouldd be less powerless when they splash "80 pages for a dollar" on the cover.

"But I don't harbor any ill-will to him or any of the other creators."

I probably should have qualified their work. Because I don't think anyone is criticizing Johns, Rucka, Winnick et al. because they kick puppies or anything. When I said I had no ill will against them, I should have qualified it to make sure people knew I was talking about their work. That's mainly because I haven't read much of it (and most of what I've read of Rucka has been his prose work). Again, maybe if it was a writer I knew I didn't much like, I might have been able to pass it up. But at that price, I was able to at least give them a shot. They didn't win me over to the "big picture" of the current DCU.

I think I've justified the purchase enough.

Wait, why did I justify that?

3/31/2005 10:00:00 PM  
Blogger Stony said...

I was going to say how much I was ready to hate this going in...
I was going to say how much I hated what happened in there...
I was going to say how much they missed the point of why we all love Blue Beetle in spite of the loser-label they were intent on slapping on him...
I was going to say how surprised I was to find that a lot of it was actually a good read...
I was also going to post to say how much I'm cringing to see the cliched Revenge-driven Booster Gold...
And finally I was going to say I might actually pick up Gail's little Villain comic

But that slap-a-dash Justin beat me to most of it... He's a Bull.

3/31/2005 10:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am severly doubtful that this is the end for the beetle. Why reintroduce the scarab of BB#1 back mysteriously like that? Boosters reaction also indicates some sort of "future knowledge". I would not be suprised to see beetle come back with some mystical help from the scarab... infact, I expect it.

Also, to the guys who don't like all the disrespect put on beetle, I see this comic another way altogether. These creators have given beetle more respect than any other writers I have seen (and I have all the JLI/A/E/etc stuff). Superficially, yea, it looks bad... the other heroes treating him dismissively and him himself reinforcing this idea that he is a loser. But look at the actual story. Beetle is the only one who actually knows whats going on. Max even rates beetle alongside Bats as the guy he knew would figure it out. The ones who come off badly here is the other heroes who frankly act like a pack of wankers, but then, given the blue/gold antics of the past you can't really be suprised. Oh.. and beetle's poor self image was well established even back in the Giffen days. Here its presented in a little more stark a manner, but still, considering the situation he finds himself in, I thought he was well in character.

Anyhow, thats how I saw it. I do think that it would be somewhat bizzare to spend 80 pages on a guy and then off him, never to return. Maybe its denial, but no... he will be back :)

Derek

4/01/2005 03:34:00 AM  
Blogger obsolete said...

How do I feel about Superman?

He makes me feel like I have to sneeze and also like I don't have to sneeze all at the same time.

I understand that emotions are complex things, but this is either needlessly complex ambivalence or just lazy writing. I assume it was Beetle's internal monologue spewing this?

Either the writer wants to convey that Beetle doesn't know how he feels or the writer doesn't actually know how he feels.

Either way it's silly and should've been left out. Ambivalence, incompetence, and assholery. Those are the characteristics of the DCU according to the Committee.

This is all apart from the fact that these internal monologues are pretty lazy writing in and of themselves. Thought balloons went the way of the dodo for a reason.

"80 pages for a buck"

You guys don't have to justify your purchase to anybody. I just don't understand why so many people are saying that they bought it because of the price. You guys sound like you have different reasons that don't actually have as much to do with the price as it first seemed.

"I have ZERO feelings about JLI(?) and the idea of massive head wound beetle, stripped of any context, does not offend me. There is no nostalgia informing my opinions. That's all i was saying. The discussions around these latest DC events seem to very much be related to DC nostalgia."

I would agree with you, for the most part. I get pretty frustrated when I see posts like "They killed Blue Beetle! I'm never buying a DC comic book again!"

Killing Beetle, all the horrible stuff that happened to Sue, Firestorm and whoever else...it doesn't offend me because of nostalgia. It offends me because it's hack writing.

And, incidentally, I agree with Derek. I think Beetle will be back, too. But that doesn't mean the whole thing isn't poorly written.

4/01/2005 12:48:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

"Which is a big part of the problem with this current movement in the DCU; the feet of clay aren't tempered by any heroism."

I think Wonder Woman has been quite heroic in her book recently. She performed greatly in the "Stoned" storyline and it's 2-part epilogue, to be precise. I don't read any Batman books, but I do read "Superman" and it's kind of hard to fit that in to this all, but I don't doubt that in the last issue Superman will perform great heroic feats, making up for his mistake of the series. But anyway..

In Didio's essay he said that they will be testing the DCU core like never before. Half hype, I'm sure, but if DCU has these core shaping tradgedies for a year and closes out with big, fantastic heroics, will detractors eat hat? How often do you have to be reminded that the heroes are heroes? Can't a story (or 5) be told where they don't come out ok in the end?

4/01/2005 02:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fuck up and die.

4/02/2005 05:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I only collect a few titles nowadays but Beetle always had a special place in my heart. I mean, look at the guy. Everything about him was both ridiculous yet charming. An accessible hero, first of all, the kind you rarely find anymore, least of all in the big DC franchise books. The JLA, for example, has become arrogant, even cynical, as the writers of those books shoehorn their personal politics into the characters, apparently looking to anti-heroes like The Authority for inspiration.

Winick is a perfect example. That guy took over two of my favorite characters, Green Arrow and Green Lantern (Rayner version) and turned them into mouthpieces for his own agenda while layering on a ridiculous amount of obvious and bitchy puns in place of dialogue. He should have stayed on MTV, where his contradictory blend of contemptous sanctimony would have fit much better.

And now he's killed Blue Beetle. I was surprised to find how pissed off I was, not simply from the fact that he was killed, but because it was so obvious, cynical, and sales-driven. I mean, I'm sure I'm not the only person who figured out halfway through the book that Beetle was going to die.

My first thought as I put the book down was, "frankly, f**k those guys", meaning the editors, the suits, the writers, all of them at DC. After a lifetime of collecting DC titles, the only thing I stick with, ironically, is JSA. The only book that has managed to update its characters, giving them emotional depth and so forth, without compromising their essential charm.

The death of Blue Beetle was just plain stupid. And I really resent the idea that overrated punks like Winick think they can play me.

4/05/2005 01:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bought the whole Countdown series as it was published. Due to professional reasons, I am only reading it now, in one stint, so i can move on to Final Crisis and stuff. And boy do I regret buying it. Countdown is the worst load of crap ever made. Lazy writing job, added to absurdly abhorrent disgusting art.
Mr Action? Seriously? Did we not hate Jimmy f*******g Olsen enough? Goodness gracious! And what about the Piper and Trickster storyline?AAAAAArrrgh!!!
Even the Jason Todd/Donna Troy stuff, which COULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME, is beyond bad. The whole thing is just disgusting.
They managed to suck with each storyline and concept. What about Earth-3, a cool concept, huh? Not with this "creative" team. Mr Paul Dini and company should be banished from comics forever.

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